my family is fed up with me

[evekins]

Hi all,

Have been suffering with anxiety for 3 months, latest episode, and am driving my family mad. Every time I approach my 15 year old daughter now she looks at me with disdain. I worry irrationally about her relationship with her boyfriend, have they argued, have they fallen out etc. I am driving her mad. My older son just thinks I am mad and my husband is at a loss.
I have no control over these feelings and the serataline is not helping.
We are trying to run a business and things feel hopeless.

[Anxious_gal]

my family don't think I'm mad they think I'm selfish and lazy and using being agoraphobic as an excuse.
this is probablly very bad advice, but with my family, parents,aunts,cousin and most of my friends I have found that it's better to keep most of my anxiety to my self, unless I'm having a panic attack I find most people are helpful then.
see the sad truth is that it's almost impossible for people to understand anxiety unless they have had it.
maybe try and educate your family, find a good book or a you tube video, maybe hearing someone else explain might help them see it's a common problem.
I always think getting a therapist will help, as it's nice to have that extra support from someone who won't judge you or think your mad.

[evekins]

Thanks for the advice. To be honest it's hard to keep it to myself because of the look on my face and dramatic weight loss.
I have just got a therapist and had my first session yesterday. I will try and find a you tube video.

[jothenurse]

I also try to keep it to myself - at work in particular. But I have lost over 20 pounds and it is very obvious that something is causing me stress. I find it embarrassing with people asking me, are you eating?

[Bill]

Every time I approach my 15 year old daughter now she looks at me with disdain. I worry irrationally about her relationship with her boyfriend, have they argued, have they fallen out etc. I am driving her mad. My older son just thinks I am mad and my husband is at a loss.

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I also try to keep it to myself

To be honest, this Really bugs me about people who put people like yourselves down making you feel even more "ill" by saying you're the one who's mad so that you then feel you have to keep thoughts and feelings to yourself which just ends up making you feel even more ill!:mad:

Why does this annoy me? Well, yes, often our worries are irrational but if people decided to stop for one minute and took the time to look beyond the worries, they would actually find a very caring person who worries Because they care. If you didn't care, you wouldn't worry and then they would accuse you of not being bothered about what happens to someone you should be caring about.

Rather than accusing and being dismissive, those who say they love us should be more understanding and realise why we worry about them. I realise of course there are those who care but don't worry but I know which sort of person I'd prefer to be with!

Maybe one day people will not judge so quickly and not put people down who they don't understand.

I admit worry can be become a problem and it can really affect our lives but when we don't get support from those who say they love us and they're so quick to accuse and give up, how is that going to help the sufferer who cares about them?

Sometimes I feel people should just carry on caring because They are the Special people and it's others who have the problem for not caring enough!

Put it this way...if everyone were like yourselves, do you really think there would be so many problems between people in this world? I know who I would rather share this world with...people who genuinely care about others, even if their caring nature does mean they end up caring Too much.

Oh, and by the way, if more people showed caring and understanding towards others, there would be no need to bottle feelings we're made to feel bad for having And we'd be more inclined to eat because we wouldn't be made to feel so anxious when going about our daily "caring" lives.

Sorry, just really annoys me when people can't see how lucky they are to have such caring parents or partners. Got that off my chest!:)

[evekins]

Thank you Bill.

I have tried to explain that I am only like I am because I care

[Primula]

Hi Eve

I know it's hard, but sometimes it's best not to keep telling family members your worries. Don't try to fight your feelings, just acknowledge that you are having them. I worry all the time about my daughter and her friendships, and I don't mean just worry, sometimes I'm beside myself with anxiety, but I know I can't keep asking her over and over if things are ok. It's a bit of an OCD sometimes with me. You are not mad, it's just that your worry mechanism has become over sensitive. Post on here or write your worries down in a journal, I find writing very helpful. Seeing things in words helps me to realise when I'm being irrational.

Good Luck
Primula:hugs:

[evekins]

Thanks Primula,

I will try writing my anxieties down. Hopefully it will help. I was aware that it was almost becoming an OCD with me.
This has only really built up over the last 3to 4 months and I felt that I was going crazy.:blush:

[Primula]

http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/
http://www.bemindful.co.uk/

Hi

I've put some links above to some websites you may find helpful with anxiety, there are a lot of free resources you can print off to read. They have helped me, and I am a lot better. Remember not to expect an overnight cure, you just have to keep chipping away at it, until you retrain your thinking, but in time it can be done. I still have very anxious moments but now I feel more able to get on top of them, and not let them takeover my life:).

Regards

Primula