Painfully low self esteem?

[samtheman]

Is there anything that can be done to help a really non existent self esteem? As I got dressed for a wedding today I thought to myself, Why are you doing this, no one would look at you anyway, I looked all smart but still I thought this, and when at the wedding I thought everyone looks so more attractive than me. I also have a habit of thinking everyone hates me and that I am not worth liking, I know this is stupid as people don't know me but this is how I feel and so I won't make eye contact with anyway, I won't talk to anyone unless spoken to and even then its a mumble, and people clearly see this weakness and talk down to or treat me as a child and often just take advantage especially at work, I just feel so low over it and don't have a clue how to cure it, I think it all stems from being a child when I had bad eczema and other kids called me all sorts of names.

[melvin]

hi mate try not to let it get you down i sometimes get this if im in a shopping center i have to now wear glasses i hate wearing them i think everyone's looking at me i feel ugly in them as well i wk around half blind at times lol but im getting there try to read books on low self esteem etc but i know how u feel

[onceagain]

Hi there

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this low about yourself and I truly understand as a fellow sufferer... some days bearable and others very very hard.

Firstly you have to start to build up that respect and confidence for yourself first and foremost, we have to learn that we cannot depend on what others think about us ... we have to learn to like and accept ourselves... yep I know easier said than done.. can you speak to your doctor about how you are feeling and ask if you can get some therapy..

Join clubs where you meet people with similar interests ... so that they are speaking to YOU as opposed to what you are thinking they are thinking of you lookwise...

I'm almost sure that you are just fine now..but taunts, hurts and remarks bury deep in the heart and mind of that child... other children can be hurtful...do you see any of these people now?... find the help to believe what is real and not take the words of hurtful children.. they have no concept of what effect they have had on your life I'm sure of it...

I have real problems..damage to body and skin.. so mine goes quite deep but I am seeking help ... please don't let it take over your life..as I have done x

[supersezza]

If you google Moodgym then that's got some good exercises around self esteem...also just try and be your best friend!

[Emphyrio]

I have an issue with self-esteem which is a side effect of having anxiety and depression - I look at others around my age or younger who have done so much more than me in life - sometimes I get visions of me aged 40 still living at home because of the various challenges that living independently can bring, and my avoidance of these challenges.

I often take to heart what people say, or any criticism levelled at me. I understand that everyone experiences criticism or humiliation at some point in their life, but others seem to be better at managing this than me. Ideally I would like to be assertive enough to ignore any comments or behaviour aimed in my direction, but it's difficult.

Sharon's suggestion is a good one - having social contact with people in a friendly environment can be beneficial to wellbeing. I went to an assertiveness course as part of my research training a while back - one of the things that the facilitator said was that no matter who you are in life, you have an innate value just by virtue of being a human being.

[jaynem]

Hi there I suffer from low self esteem and lack of confidence as well as GAD, everday I wake up thinking this is the day I am going to change but I just cant seem to do anything about it. If someone makes a cutting comment to me I take it to heart especially when it is do do with weight, as I am overweight and hate myself for it (I know it is only me who can help). I take in every thing that is said to me and make somthing bigger and bigger out of it until it gets out of control, my mind is constantly working overtime, I just wanted to say you are not alone its not a nice at all :-) xx

[Thumbelina]

Hi sam,

Who are they to judge, they all have hundreds of scelletons in their
closets.

I have GAD as well and low self esteem comes during and after I have lapses, it is happening now and before that was few month ago. When you feel helpless your self esteem goes down. When you gradually get used to the anxiety and panic outcomes and become less scared - your confidence will come back as you will be feeling good about yourself, that you won a battle.