My lymphoma story in full

[John_Daryl]

Ok, I'v decided to take the time to write this all out in full so that you guys can have a clear observation of what iv gone through.:shades:

At the age of 13 (5 years ago) I realised a lump under my chin, small and moveable. Being 13, I had no clue what it was and I went crazy worrying about it, so I went to the doctors, only to find out it was just a palpable lymph node. Soon after, I also found lymph nodes in my neck area, small ones, moveable, like all the others. It had stayed with me for another 3 years, and at the age of 16, I was ill quite a bit and was tired all the time, so I went for a check up, had blood tests done etc, and found out I had glandular fever.:shrug:

1 Year later I find many more lymph nodes in my groin area and begin to worry again, I showed them to 2-3 doctors, non of which seemed to be concerned as I am, but I pushed for test after test of my bloods etc. and they didn't want to push for a biopsy because they were not concerned one bit.:scared15:

Another year on, I went to my doctors again to have them checked up because I had started to worry about them, with it being a doctor who I hadn't presented them to before, he sent me for blood tests and referred me to a haemotologist, who then also looked at my blood work and felt around with my nodes. He too was not concerned and only wanted me to return in 1 month time to check for any growth in the nodes ( which have been their for 10 months and havn't grown).:)

I am now 2 days away from finding out the results of my test which were taken 3 weeks ago, and its a very VERY tense moment for me. Would the doctor of called if their was any abnormalities in the tests that have been done? :wacko:

Also, very recently, I noticed MORE lymph nodes, atleast i think they are, in my lower back either side of my spine.

Gahh, please reply :weep:

[margaret jones]

Hi Daryl What a tense time for you do you think had the DR been concerned he would have contacted you ???
All i can say is i will be thinking of you on results day (mon ?)

Maggie :hugs:

[John_Daryl]

Yes its Monday at 11. I'm sure the NHS contacts you if their are problems with the tests.

[margaret jones]

I think that they would have been in touch if they where concerned Daryl I no it is easy to say dont worry but try and keep busy

good luck Maggie

[ladybird64]

Daryl, I replied on your other thread but thought I would also add something here.

I know you are terrified hun but you keep asking the same question and you have been given so much reassurance but you don't seem to be listening to it at all.

I am absolutely positive if there was something wrong you would have been contacted by now, you have also had advice by someone who has personal knowledge about lymphoma.

I am not belittling how you feel, far from it but I honestly don't think you believe that you don't have lymphoma and I am wondering if the test results will change your opinion at all when they come back.

You mentioned before if the results were ok that you won't need counselling..you have the opportunity to be seen by the access team so why don't you take it and get some help for yourself?

We all have lymph nodes and unless you are an expert in what is "unusual" then to be constantly checking yourself for them and then worrying if you find one is exhausting and counter productive.

Why don't you see if you can try and avoid self-checking this weekend and try not to stress too much about the results?

I know how hard it is but if you can concentrate on something else it would be so much better. :)

[dodo]

I just wanted to say that if I check, I have nodes there too. Some people have more pronounced nodes than others. I have lumps and bumps all over my body, can feel loads of them in my chest area. I have had all mine checked over time and they are fine.

I think I would echo what ladybird said, will you really be satisfied with these results or will you keep on worrying that something was missed etc etc. Or will you perhaps jump to another illness involving swollen nodes? I haven't seen you other post but if like ladybird says you've been offered someone to speak to I'd take it up for sure.

[John_Daryl]

Its just really worrying thinking you have a life threatening illness :'(

[lemaladeimaginaire]

Hi Daryl, I have EXACTLY the same lymphnodes as you! A big one below my left jaw(been there since 2002), a smaller one below that one (since 2003) and one in my groin (2004/5). I also have had glandular fever. And I also worried about cancer for ages. Truth is, i'm ok, and you will probably be too.

Good luck and be well.

V

[John_Daryl]

I do hope so. Nobody seems to be half as worried about it as I am, non of my doctors seemed concerned by the feel of them, or the fact im showing 0 symptoms.

[lemaladeimaginaire]

Well, that's why they are not worried. Lymphnodes can change in size sometimes without it been a deadly disease. It just happens. If you keep looking fr a cause, you will find one. try and believe for a moment that maybe, there isn't actually anything wrong with you.

I too was constantly worried about them, then one day I decided to take the conscious decision to believe my doctor. she said "it's nothing", then it isn't. Lymphoma would give you other symptoms.

And don't waste the best part of your life being worried about dying, like I did! Start seeing a psychotherapist, it'll make all the difference. It took me 4 and a half years of it, but I feel I can finally live...

Love

V

[John_Daryl]

Well they dont grow, sometimes they shrink back to a smaller size, but then they grow back to their original size.

[lemaladeimaginaire]

If they don't grow, you're fine. But you've got to believe it. :)

[John_Daryl]

Right, I'm off to find out my results.

Wish me luck :'(

[John_Daryl]

im fine :)

[lemaladeimaginaire]

Told you so! I'm glad you're ok. It'll be a lesson for the next time! Now have fun and enjoy the sun...

x

[John_Daryl]

But their are still these lumps on my lower back that dont even feel like lymph nodes,
he said they are bone, but they are clearly not :\

[lemaladeimaginaire]

You are shifting your attention onto another symptom because the previous issue is resolved. Even if these lumps are lymph nodes, so what? You do not have a lymph nodes disease, you got your results today.

And are you sure they are not bones? If your doctor told you that they are, but they clearly aren't, then change doctor!

In any case, careful, as your anxiety is not caused by your symptoms, but it causes you to see symptoms everywhere. Until you convince yourself that you're ok, you will continue to find thousands of symptoms.


Calm down and rationalize the situation. The tests said you're fine, try to believe them. If not even negative tests can convince you that you're not ill, nothing will.

What do you believe your lumps to be?

[John_Daryl]

I don't have a clue,
but lumps - cancer
everyone puts the 2 together

[lemaladeimaginaire]

Lumps do NOT necessarily cancer! They are most probably cysts. x

[HelenLouise]

Hi, i just read your story.

I just wanted to let you know that I have had a lymph node on the side of my neck that has been larger than any others since i was 5 (i'm 20 now)!
I got it checked out when I was little and my doctor said i was fine.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been obsessing over cancer - leukaemia and lymphoma in particular and was poking around for lymph nodes.
I found some more in my neck.

I have just been to the doctors to get them checked and he didnt seem concerned about the ones i had recently discovered he only really paid a lot of attention to the one i've had for 15 years.

I have got to go for a blood test and am now panicing!
My doctor didnt seem to concerned - he just fails at being sympathetic.

Just wanted to let you know I know what you're going through xxx

[Catalyst]

Hi - I have 2 small lumps either side of my lower spine. One more noticeable than the other. Had them for ages, but not always aware of them.

[beaniepudblue]

hi there, i just wanted to send hugs and i also have some in my neck that i can feel ive been aware of them since i was about 13

xxxxxxxxxx

[joannap]

when i was a child right though to my twenties i had lots of nodes that i could feel like you describe and if i was tired/run down - they would enlarge and feel tender. i had them in my groin/armpit/under my chin - the doctors aren;t worried because it is common and not serious. i don't really notice mine now.

when you get lymphona you tend to get one node swelling up massively so i think you have been worrying about nothing lol x