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debbsi
19-07-10, 07:49
Hi
I was woken up suddenly last night to my dogs having a 'set to'!! at 1.50am grrrr. Anyway it took me ages to get back to sleep, my heart was racing and adrenaline flowing. Also to make matters worse I have costochondritis (inflammation of cartilage in the rib / sternum joint) which flared up again on friday. So due to jumping up out of bed it set the chest pain off again (it is only minor - but not a nice feeling). I finally managed to get back to sleep and then my damn mobile phone battery started dying - so everytime I drifted back to sleep the bloomin thing beeped - so I turned it off and finally got some sleep.

Anyway this morning I still fell gittery - I know its probably just the adrenaline etc but how can i make it go away - its horrible - it remind me how how I used to feel about 3 years ago when I had panic attacks.

Deb x

Baggs
19-07-10, 08:44
I leave the news 24 on all night. This helps me get back to sleep when I wake up. All the best. Baggs.

Bill
20-07-10, 03:55
Write it off as sods law! Bad things are sent to try us but tomorrow's a new day! Don't look back; keep looking forward.:hugs:

debbsi
20-07-10, 07:40
Bill - can I put you in my pocket and you can provide me with inspiration wherever I am :)

Bill
21-07-10, 03:22
I wish!:blush:....I reckon I'd enjoy that!:blush: At least I'd feel I'm doing some good with my life!:hugs:

debbsi
21-07-10, 16:54
lol xx

Bill
22-07-10, 15:49
It's true though Debs because I just don't don't what I'm doing with my life. I care at home, I care for my mother, I play my sport and I have hobbies I enjoy but so much of my time is spent feeling alone with no purpose in life. On the whole my anxiety isn't a roblem but I do get depressed especially without my father or my dog who I could find comfort in. I come here to try to help others but I feel it's nowhere near enough. I keep looking for opportunities to feel alive but I can't find anything. I really might as well spend my life in your pocket because at least then I really would feel I'm doing some good with my life if at least I was helping you. Probably do me alot of good too!:blush: I just feel I'm wasting my life away no matter how much I try so it's the old problem I've always had of surviving but not living. Sorry.:hugs:

Bill
23-07-10, 01:56
Nope...I don't know the answer either.:shrug::hugs:

Polar Bear
23-07-10, 10:05
Bill

I've read some of your posts on this forum (and now look out for them). You talk a great deal of sense and obviously can relate to the problems that others are experiencing. I think it has been said before on here but maybe you should think about taking up some sort of counselling as your profession - you would be brilliant at it!

You do a great deal of good!

Bill
24-07-10, 02:59
Thank you for making me smile.:) Sometimes I feel I share what I think might help but you never really know whether what you said actually did do any good and whether it did help the person even if in a small way to get through a bad period so thank you for reassuring me that my time here is worth something.

Whenever I've met counsellors they've always seemed rather cold and detached, firing questions putting you on the spot. I know that's how they're trained because they have to remain objective, professional and help you to find the answers for yourself. However, I don't believe I could ever be like that because it's not in my nature. I like to connect and at least try to offer comfort when someone is in distress but it would mean I couldn't remain detached. I think I have too many hurts of my own and I'm too soft. Perhaps typing on here keeps that distance for others sake.

I must admit though I do get immense satisfaction from helping someone get on with their lives just as I've found when I train someone in my sport. It's just terrific when you know someone's happy and smiling again but I'm no professional and I know I'm not always right. I just love trying.

I did try setting my own local anxiety group thinking I could help people in person but not enough people attended to make it cost effective. There is another larger group I could visit but it's 25 miles away and finding the time isn't easy.

To be honest I just feel tied. There's so much more I'd love to do and for others but for one reason or another I can't fit it all in hence being on here so late at night when most have long since gone to bed.

Counselling would be great fun because I love helping others but even if I could, I just don't feel I would be emotionally suitable for such an important role. Thank you though for your kind words.:)

Chem
29-07-10, 02:06
You have a wonderful way with words, Bill. Your warmth and caring nature always comes through. Thank you for trying to help so many people. I hope you would reach out to us too if you need any help. :hugs:

Bill
29-07-10, 03:15
Thank you for caring.:hugs: A little while ago I said to myself that from now on I'm going to try to not offload my problems on here and instead try to focus my attention on helping others. I just feel that on the whole I cope ok with my anxiety. It's "other issues" that get me down which I feel I just have to try and accept. I'd much rather try to help those who can be helped. :hugs:

debbsi
29-07-10, 17:45
I find working in a caring profession has its advantages in my ability to be able to offer advice and support to others, on the other hand it means I have to learn about anatomy and physiology and health - which just goes on to spur my health anxiety!!!!

Bill
30-07-10, 02:39
I think you'll find some nurses on here will empathise with you about that. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss! When a dog loses a leg, he just gets on with it and runs around on three legs. Everyone feels sad he only has three legs but he's not worried because he doesn't think any different. He still loves to go for walks, have a run, lots of fuss, lots to eat and a cosy bed to lie in. For him, nothing's changed. He doesn't think about yesterday or tomorrow. He only thinks about what's in front of him. They may only have short lives but he still enjoys every moment. We could learn alot from dogs!:hugs:

debbsi
30-07-10, 06:50
good point Bill - I've often thought what a lovely life my 2 dogs lead :D

thing is they have someone to look after them, provide their food and shelter, its me who worries about them, just like its me who worries about our bills, health and safety, whilst my family dont have a care in the world (bit of an exageration - I'm sure they do). I think that I just have the weight of the world on my shoulders most of the time whilst my DH just goes to work and comes home again, he doesnt have a clue how to look after our finances for example, and only has 'jobs / chores' to do if I ask him!! rant over :)

DWCarenza
30-07-10, 08:11
Not exactly dogs, but I remember this poem I've read, which is similar.

"Inessential Things"

What do cats remember of days?
They remember the ways in from the cold,
The warmest spot, the place of food.
They remember the places of pain, their enemies,
the irritation of birds, the warm fumes of the soil,
the usefulness of dust.
They remember the creak of a bed, the sound
of their owner´s footsteps,
the taste of fish, the loveliness of cream.
Cats remember what is essential of days.
Letting all other memories go as of no worth
they sleep sounder than we,
whose hearts break remembering so many
inessential things.


© Brian Patten