View Full Version : Worrying for my husband
Hi,
I hope someone can help me. I dont know much about anti depressant but i do know i cannot take this lightly.
He is been on Citalopram for quite sometime now but recently he cut down on his dosage which i think it is a good idea , i think i am terribly wrong.
Eversince he reduces his dosage, he has been frequently visiting the toilet every night ..so often it disturbes his sleeps badly. He still visits the toilet oftenly when he is on his average dosage but not as bad when he cuts down.
This morning was the worst i have encountered, basically..he didnt sleep at all...He got such in a bad mood and keep telling me he wish he could die. It is so heart broken listening to this. He slaps himselfs and kept cursing that life is bad. Recently, his dad was admitted to hospital and had some trouble at work. I initially thought it is 'pretty normal' to feel stress but his stress level is way beyond what i am 'expecting'
We have been only married for 7 months and it is next to zero on our sexual life. My biological clock is ticking and would love to have our baby in near future but in current sexual activity, it is sadly impossible.
I really want to help him but i dont know how and the way he looks at life, as if there is not a point to go on. I am praying this wont cause marriage breakdown which i know there is possiblity leads.
I tried very hard to motivate him, telling him look things on a brighther side. It is not only the 'mental health issue' that is stopping him from having a cheerful life but like i said, his frequency to toilet every night that disturbes his sleeps effects badly on his mood. Physically, he always complains about headache, tummy upset, backache. It just seems too many 'illness'. Never a day, he would smile and said life is good.
He went to the GP and it is not helping. Should he increase his dosage ? Please help me to learn about this . :(
Hi
You don't say if he needs to go to toilet because he has a bad stomach or need to urinate a lot.??
And also what dose is your husband on?
Keta
It doesnt sound like your hubby is well enough to cut down on his medication .If hes only on a low dose ie ;10 or 20 mg he may have felt better on a higher dose .Only the Dr can judge that properly ,but there again if you say shes not much help .Maybe it would be better for your husband to change his Dr or see someone else .Has he been offered councelling or and CBT ? it would be a good idea to ask the Dr about this so he can be reffered .If hes been on a high dose for over 8weeks and it hasnt helped him ,he might find changing to a different brand of tablet works better for him .This again needs to addressed with the Dr .Its only usual for people to cut down on medication once they reach a theraputic dose and have been stable on it for a long period of time .Then it needs to be done very graduall to avoid discontinuation syndrome.There is a risk of bad side effects if this is done too quick or by to much at a time .How long ago did your husband reduce his dose and by how much ?He could be feeling bad because of the side effects of this .Frequent urination can be a side effect of some types of antidepressants ..Loss of sex drive is common when depressed and also these drugs can cause problems .Just accepting this and not putting pressure on him will help him until he feels better .There is always a price to pay unfortunately .Alot of peole find their sex drive comes back once the depression has lifted and the drug stabilizes .Until then being supportive and not putting too much emphasis on sex will help him .He will be feeling bad enough about it .Enjoy having an intimate cuddle and other things for the time being .Talking about having children at this time really isnt a good idea ,and will only add to his depression and feelings of low self esteem .Its very difficult living with someone who has depression and anxiety ,but being there and being supportive will bring you closer in the long term .Nothing last s for ever if you get the right help . T/C Sue .x
Hi,
Thanks for the reply and sorry for the lack of info.
He frequenty going to the toilet to urinate...can be as bad as 10-15 in a night.
He doesnt like to speak about his medication but from what i know he has been taking the tablet for years. He was on 20mg a day and 2-3 months back, he reduces it by 20mg alternate days which was agreed by the doctor.
I obviously did not try to pressure him into having childrens at this point of time . its my own thoughts as and when we can have one as this has been dragging since the start of our relationship which i only come to realize on his medication after we got married and learning about the side effects.
What worries me most is how can he improve looking at life to a brighther side. I know it is one step at a time but it just seems it is deteriorating instead of improving
:hugs:Hi again .Thats an awful lot of times to be going .He really needs to be checked out ,has he told the Dr about this ? Anxiety can cause frequent urination and so can lots of other probs .He needs to have an examination on his prostate gland .It can be difficult for men to go to the Drs about these sort of probs .Things have to be ruled out to find out what the cause is .It sounds to me he didnt do very well on the drug ? did he ever feel more upbeat or back to his old self ? If not he should have had his medication increased to 30mg and see if that improved things for him .If hes not telling to the Dr about whats really going on in his head and mental state ,the Dr wont be able to treat him properly .Its very important to be completely honest .If he had increased his dose and it still didnt feel much better he could then have upped to 40mg .He does sound like hes very down/depressed , and coming off his medication wont help him if hes not doing something else to get back on track .You can only help him so much ,hes got to face up to the fact he need s some sort of help ,be it medication or councelling .Untreated depression wont get better on its own .If hes been on the medicaton for so long it will take a while for it to get out of his system ,Until then he will find he doesnt feel too good some of the time .Its impassible to make someone be more positive if they are depressed ,if he was on a stable dose of something he would find it easier .Theres more to curing Depression than just taking medication .Would he consider joining this site and talking to others who are experiencing the same kind of probs ? I think it would be a good step in the right direction to be honest .If NOT and he doesnt change how hes feeling he needs to go to see his Dr ,and get some other help .There are books he can read about positive thinking that will help ,but only if he has an open mind and wants to help himself .Amazon do a lot ,have a look at their website .Also The Cbt I mentioned would benefit him ,as this makes you look at things from a more postitive approach .There can be a long waiting list tho .You can get free courses on line .But it takes detemination and hard work .Im sorry you are having all this to deal with :hugs:.My immediate advice would be to get him to go to the Drs ,you go with him .The urination prob needs dealing with and also the Dr needs to know his current state of mind .Keep posting and let us know how things are doing ..luv Sue x
I suffer with frequent urination as a one of the anxiety symptom and Citalopram's side effects made this for me worse but it's calming down now but the most i would get up to toilet is 2 - 3 times, recently only once or not at all, usually during the day it's worse. As Suzy said he should get checked out about this because it could be down to something else and not the tablets.
Hope it can be sorted out soon for your hubby.
Thanks a lot Sue,
I had a small talk with him earlier and he is determine to be out of the medication gradually. He realize of the side effects and also realize it could take months before things can improve. I guess recent difficult situation has increases the stress. We are determine to go through this together. Hopefully it wont take longer than it should be.
He spoke to the GP about the urination in the night and exams are being taking place...so far it seems to be 'normal' on the result. Just making appointments and the on going test is taking forever...good ol NHS.
Is it recomended off taking off the medication completely, gradually and bare with the side effects temp OR cont the medication for life?
Should i give support to my husband to gradually decrease the dosage till it is completely off the medicine shelf?
I read ppl's case in the forum and that they are afraid to take the medication at the first place and others seem to comment reducing dosage seems like a completely wrong thing to do...
i will take precaution of his progression. He's getting advice from forum somewhere, could be the same as this..i am not sure. He reads a lot on self help books , its only his urinating prob is causing the lack of sleep hence the stress and anxienty sinks in
Hi Cherilady. I just wanted to say WELL DONE YOU for sticking by your husband through this really bad time for him. I hope you are making time though to get away from the sadness of the situation to do little things for yourself from time to time. Remember that it is essentially his illness, not yours, and while you can support him, you cannot take the burden and the weight for him, he must do this for himself. Having you there, I know, will be a massive boost for him.
Believe me not everyone is capable of this support. When I first became ill five years ago, I was newly married. My wife however could not cope with me being ill and she left me a year later.
Like I said, well done for supporting, but remember yourself in all of this as well.
Hi Gareth,
Sorry to hear of what happen to you in the past and thanks for the encouragement you have given me . I hope you are much better now.
Just a quick update :-
My husband when to the pharmacist and got himself some sleeping aid tablet , he slept through the whole night , only going to the toilet once. Wherether the sleeping tablet really works or he is extremly tired ( as he didnt sleep the night before) but i am glad to hear his snores.:)
Hi Cherilady ,If your husband feels that he wants to come off the medication and the Dr agrees ,There is no reason he cant come off it permanently.The discontinuation syndrome will be better if done very slowly .Not everyone suffers bad with the effects .Time will tell if he can function ok without going back on the medication ,Not everyone needs to . Im pleased he had a good sleep and didnt need to go to the toilet more than once .Its a good sign this isnt something to over stress about .Anxiety can make you need the toilet a lot .There are lots of herbal medications that can be tried in times of stress .You are very supportive and hes fortunate to have someone so caring .Gareth is right tho ,do make time for you, and take a few hours away from it all ,every now and then .You deserve it ,and it will do you good .I hope the tests and everything works out for you both .Take care Sue x:hugs:
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