View Full Version : WORK - cant take this anymore
My PO who is my boss is coming out to see me tomorrow to discuss my options. He is a friend which is why he has tried to cover up the allegation that has been made about me but it actually hasnt done me any favours. He knows i want to leave the job now and said he will buy me as much time as he can until i can find another job. A member of staff has accused me of been involved with a prisoner as in full on relationship. Now this member of staff is a dangerous person and isnt popular at all but he tries to be so nice to your face. Obviously when i was pulled in about it they said there was nothing to investigate at all but i want them to do a full investigation as i have nothing to hide and it could back fire in his face. This member of staff now knows that i know it was him that said it. We were given a chance to talk in front of my SO and PO. You could tell by his voice he was ****ting himself. He went on about how hed known me years, loved me like a daughter, well if so why would he do something so dangerous and behind my back, if he cared and was worried about me he would have approached me in person. Now a con has mentioned it to another of member of staff very coincidental a day after he said it. But he is the kind of person who when in trouble will ask a con to back him up, just the way he is.
A few months ago i was trying to get a con on cleaners but security were been funny about it, so he actually went up to the con and said i was bulling him and that he should threaten me with some violence and that would sort it out.
Well nothing was done about that but now this has happened i want a full investigation as he will come of a lot worse than me. This has made me feel ill, i cant sleep or eat, just relying on wine to get me some sleep and when i do i am having horrendous nightmares about it all.
Struggling with Sam again, i cant face going back to where i was but how can i take anymore of this. Its gone too far and affecting me too much i just cant cope.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
hi sal,
i have the upmost admiration for you to do a job like you do,,and to cope with your problems also you are a lot stronger than you think,,
thinking of you sal,,
wish you luck,:)
better to fight for something than to live for nothing
Hi Sal,
I honestly have no advice to offer, i admire you immensely, and think you cope so brilliantly. This must be awful for you, the only 'grandma' advice i can give is...and don't shout at me.....try to eat a little something, you won't be able to cope with anything if you feel sick/dizzy/hungry. just munch on anything you can, at this point it does not matter what it is, when you give sam food, have a little yourself, anything, as Trevor has said, you are one strong lady, and you will not end up going back as you were before, sorry no support, but am thinking of you. xxxxxxxtake care. jean
Thanks Trevor and Jean
I am struggling at the moment to make sense of it all. I cant decide which way to take this or what to do. I know my boss is coming out in the morning but i am not sure what he can do to give me time. I am going to tell him i cant go back now, so it is how we deal with it in the short term as i will need to be paid until i find a new job. I could go sick and blame work for it or i could ask him to take it through the proper channels and get suspended for a full investigation which i dont mind as i have nothing to hide plus then there would be the compensation side of it.
If only i could think straight
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Good God Sal, it sounds like something off Bad Girls! How awful for you. Are you in a Union? How could someone accuse you of that & get a con to back him up. Sounds to me like the shoe should be on the other foot so to speak & you are the innocent party here. Your colleague should be dragged in & reprimanded for making stuff like that up. Have you any idea what will happen? Could you really be accused of having a relationship with a con? Is it that easy? I have heard about Police Officers & Probation Officers having relationships, but never anyone in the Prison Service. Unfortunately, if there is nothing you can do about this, you should advise the bosses to put actions in place to make sure that no other officer could ever be put in this position again. You really need your boss on your side right now Sal, or get another job quick. Could you get references, how long have you worked there? You really need to think about all these things. Keep your strength up mate. There has to be someone on your side.
Les
bluesparkle
20-02-06, 16:58
oh sal
thats awful... i wish i had some good advice to give...
but i am thinking of you and sam ...and sending you lots of hugs and posative vibes...
let us know how you get on tomorrow
take care
rach
I don't know how you do the job you do and like the others have tremendous respect for you - it's awesome.
You sound like you could do with some time out though and wish Meg could read this as she is soo sensible and knowledgable as to the best direction to suggest.
Meanwhile I am thinking of you and really wishing you all the best.
Take care mate.
Piglet xx
Hi Sal
This sounds like the last thing you need on top of the break up.
I would suggest getting some advice from your union (if you are a member) or perhaps the Citizens Advice Bureau if the union isn't a possibility. There is no way this man should be allowed to get away with this.
Hope you are able to buy yourself some time after the meeting tomorrow so that you can get some advice as to how to proceed.
Karen
Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.
Hi Sal, just to say you know where I am if you need me, take care.xxxxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
hi Sal,
sorry to hear you are having these awful problems at work as well as what you've been going thru anyway.
You really must use your rational you at the moment though and personally I think you need to get out of this line of work. It has caused you endless amounts of additional stress. Please look for something else out of the prison service. Then once you have sorted yourself out, no matter how long it takes, you can return if you wish. But right now, its certainly not doing you any good whatsoever.
Have this talk tomorrow and see what comes out of it entirely for your own benefit. It must be sorted to what is best for you and Sam. You are a strong and capable woman and are more than able to do another career/profession for the mean time. You seem to be caught up in a viscous circle and maybe getting out of this line of work will be a catalyst in a new beginning for you.
You can do it.
Lisa
xxx
"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"
Not having a good night, but i know i need to get out of that job as from day one it has brought me nothing but heartbreak.
I have decided when i see my boss tomorrow that i wont be going back, regardless of the financial implications on Sam and me i cant do it. My health is too important. I want a full investigation so i have time to sort another job out. My boss is happy to do me a reference regardless of what is going on as he knows i have nothing to answer to.
Would be best if i was suspended then i could have a compensation claim at end of it. Worst nightmare of that job is happening to me and although i thought i was strong this has taken it all from me and i am back to not been able to cope with Sam like i was years ago. The horrible thoughts are back and i cant cope at all.
Im scared i wont get through this.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Good luck for the meeting today Sal. Will be thinking of you.
Karen
Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.
I would like to say, - believe me you are going to cope wonderfully well. All the best,
when things appear hopeless, from nowhere appears a wondeful solution, which takes us by surprise.
Ram
Hope it goes well today Sal, sorry not been there for you much, but you know why, i hope things work out for you, like you say they have nothing on you and thats all you have to think about no matter what they say they cant prove a thing, so stick to your guns,
take care xxx
kairen x
Thanks Kairen
He has rang me to say he wont be out until 2 and he bring the head of the care team as she is really concerned about me. He has contacted work and told me that written statements from prisoners have gone in stating that i am having sex with him, but obviously not as polite as that.
I dont understand how anyone can say that. I could understand if i had and someone had walked in but otherwise there is just nothing to answer to and i still believe this officer has put some of them up to it, i wouldnt put it past them.
I feel sick, im shaking, can hardly type as my hands are so clammy and shaky. I honestly dont think i can do this, i am losing it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal xx
Iv just read this post and I really dont know what to say other than we are all here for you and if you ever need to talk to someone you know where I am. I wish I could be more helpful and have advice but Iv never been in that kind of situation xx but i wish you all the best and Im sure everything will turn out ok xx
((((((((sal))))))))
Lauraxx
Hi Sal hun,
Am thinking of you and hope that it goes well.
You know we are all here for you, just replied to your text. Let me know how you are.
xx
Tatty B xx
How are things sal, Im thinking of you,xxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Hi Sal - sorry I'm late to this thread but it sounds like a huge nightmare.
I'm so glad though you have decided to get out - as others have said you are very strong, but I can't imagine being a PO is usually compatiable with anyone who suffers from any kind of anxiety.
I'm sure it would be so good for you to get a job elsewhere. It would be so different from what you are used to, but would bring in the dosh as well as provide distraction, stimulation and opportunities for new friendships.
Hugs,
Take Care,
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
Sal,
Just saying I hope you are ok.
I pm'd you my mob number a while back. Please use it when you need to.
and please remember thoughts are only thoughts, you can change them.. everything changes. You will get past this.
Everything flows, nothing stays...
be strong.
Lisa
xxx
"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"
How did the meeting go today Sal?
I hope you are ok.
Karen
Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.
Lisa could you pm me it again as got new phone and thought i had all numbers saved on sim but didnt as they were on phone so cancelled them all.
Thanks for your support
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Today was a horrible day but it seems to me that my PO thinks it is a joke.
He actually rang me as a friend and asked me if i had done the deed and he would never let it go further. Shows his doubts there doesnt it. He came with the care team leader and was in one sentence saying nothing had been said and in the other breath that there was written statements gone in.
I rang the care team leader as i wasnt sure what i acutally listened to and she agreed with me that he came out with two very different stories. I told her in confidence what he had said and she said he isnt a nice person, i always thought she liked him and she said he is a nasty person. Well i could agree with question he asked me and he also said that if he worked with females he would be in the same postiion so why not tell him.
Nothing to tell though. The con has been moved of the wing but the reasons why from people working on there are so different to what he has told me. Why play head games with me. Cant sleep thinking about it all and i am not sure to make of this whole situation.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Still thinking of you Sal and hoping this fiasco gets sorted out very soon.
Take care hun.
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
bluesparkle
22-02-06, 11:43
hi sal...
thinking of you...
how are you doing today?
rach
x
Hi Sal xx
Im sorry your going through all this and it doesnt seem to be getting anywhere yet xx
Im sure it will all be sorted soon xx
Hope your ok today xx
You know where I am if you need to talk xx
Luv Laura xx
Sue K with 5
23-02-06, 02:43
Hi Sal
I am so sorry your having such a crappy time. This is something you do not need at this time.
I think your decision to leave is very sensible there is a limit to what anyone should put up with where work is concerned.
I know at this moment with Si leaving and Sam to deal with emotionally things feel at a loss but you are a strong person and you can get through this. This could be the biggest turning point in your life and a fresh start with everything !
Keep focused Sal! you can get through this
Lots of hugs
Sue with 5
xxxx
scknight
Thanks you for your replies. I dont feel strong at the moment i just feel lost. I am going into work tomorrow on overtime something i didnt want to do but when is the best time to face it all. Dreading it but until i find a new job i have no other option.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
I will be thinking of you hun xx
and if you need to talk you know im only a phonecall or txt away xx
Luv Laura xx
Hi Sal
You will be fine tommorow keep your chin up you can do it.
You are stronger than you think.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Thanks Laura and Alex
Will let you know how it goes. Just need to face it all and see how i feel.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Went in to work today and thought i would put it down to a bad exprience everyone was talking about me I cant handle that.
The story is so out of context that i couldnt believe it.
I cant go in there knowing what they are saying but what choice do i have.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
bionic_man
25-02-06, 23:22
[8] this sounds like a case of bullying dont you have any safe guards in place to protect the workforce??
S_A
Hi Sal
Im so sorry to hear today was really bad, this is so not right on you.
Wish there was something else to say to make you feel better.
Keep your chin up, we are all here for you.
Sending hugs to you.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Sue K with 5
26-02-06, 03:47
Hi Sal !
You have plenty of choices. for one their behaviour is totally unacceptable ! any decent company would have it nipped int he bud. my advise to you is if you have a union rep then I would discuss this matter with them, or seek legal advise. What they did was nothing more than a form of harassment and you do not deserve to put up with that
We are all behind you sal keep your chin up girl and dont let the Buggers get you down!
Sue
scknight
Sal this situation sounds intolerable!!
You do not have to put up with this, I agree with Sue, could you see the union rep??? No one should have to put up with this.
Love Piglet xx
Back in at work this afternoon, dreading it. I have found out how someone from a separate unit found out about it. I rang her last night and she told me that she was doing overtime on my wing and everyone was talking about it on the landing and they came and told her a complete blown out of context story. It was her friend who approached me and just asked if i was okay but it wasnt one of those passing okays it was one where i knew she knew something and thankfully she told me. Better she did as she could have just said hello and left it at that.
My PO has told me just to ignore it but i cant simply ignore it. I am going to get in touch a guy who used to be in the union and see what he says. I dont want to talk to the union rep yet as my PO is the chairman of the union, so as you can imagine i bet he has already been forwarned that i will be coming to see him.
Lets see what happens this afternoon at work.
Thanks for all your support really appreciate it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
bluesparkle
26-02-06, 11:51
hi sal...
just to say thinking of you today... i know its easy for me to say but try to keep your chin up as you have done nothing wrong...
will be thinking of you
let us know how it goes
take care
rach
x
Hi Sal, hope it goes OK today.xxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Hi Sal,
As the others have said really hope that things do go better today for you, will be thinking of you.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Hi Sal xx
Hope everything goes ok today xx keep your chin up hun you know and we all know you have done NOTHING wrong!!
You know where I am if you need to talk xx
Take care hun xx
Laura xx
Thank you for all your replies. Work was no better and they are all still gossiping about me. About times they get lifes of their own. Had enough and as soon as get another job i am out of there. I dont need this at all.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Sue K with 5
26-02-06, 23:47
Hi Sal
Just want to send you a big hug and to let you know I am thinking of you!
This is the pits at the moment but hopefully a new job will come up very soon
Sue
scknight
Thanks Sue
I hope so i am panicky now just thinking about going in tomorrow knowing i dont have another day of until next tuesday. Not coping well at all today.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Sue K with 5
27-02-06, 12:25
oh Sal
You have coped so well with everything lately, just keep focused and remember you are better than this, You deserve better than this and these people are not an important part of your life.
Do you remember that saying when we were kids about stick and stones well keep saying that to yourself mate
Keep strong and dont let the gits get you down ( Hey I never swore) not bad considering I need a ciggie at the moment !
Sue
scknight
Hi Sal xx
Sorry your going through all this hun xx
You are a strong woman and dont forget that!! You CAN get through this and I will help you xx
Keep your chin up hun you have done nothing wrong!!
Love ya lots
Laura xx
Thanks for your support Will see what happens when i go in tomorrow. Dreading it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Sal, you dont need this, life is too short, get a job somewhere else, my daughter is working in a famous department store and happy as a pig in muck. lol, prob as much money too Sal.xxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Hi Sal
I agree that you don't need this. The sooner you find something else the better in my opinion.
Hope tomorrow goes ok for you. You know where I am if you want to talk.
Karen xx
Thanks hun I know i dont need this and have applied for quite a few jobs today. Im happy to down size get rid of my debts but Sam wants it all ways.
Would walk tomorrow and live in rented accommodation as i am that unhappy in the job.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Whatever you decide hun I wil be behind you 100% xx
There is no point in working in a job that gets you down and make you dread going into work everyday xxxx
Hopefully you will find a job soon and will be more happier xx
You know where I am if you need me xx
Laura xx
Was just popping by to see how things were going.
Love Piglet xx
Hi Sal,
Good luck with the job hunting. I hope you can get the hell out of the awful place soon.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Hope work was ok today Sal. Thinking of you.
Karen
Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey
Work was horrendous, suddenly from being the main cleaning officer and being on it every shift since xmas day i am getting moved to jobs of the wing. Guilty before proven is what i see. So many staff have come up to me today asking how i am, staff that i never speak to.
I have spoken to the union rep today in passing and told him i want out and wont be staying. He was really nice but we will meet up tomorrow. He said to me i am looking you in the eye when i say it is a shame you want out but i totally understand what you have been through and he has never knocked me and the situation has being handled so wrong. He said if i go sick they will have to pay me as work related but i will also need to tell the head of personnel or a governor what has gone on. In all counts he says my so and po have not taken the right lines so i cant lose.
Not sure what to do until i talk to him in depth tomorrow but know how i feel now i will only have a few shifts left at durham and will say my goodbyes to who i have to in the next few days.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Sue K with 5
01-03-06, 00:49
Hi Sal !
I am sorry its not improving ! I think in your chat tomorrow you should point out that if this went to a tribunal you would win compensation for what you have been through.
You need to think carefully and make the right move for you !
Take things easy and dont get brow beaten! God I sound like my nan more every day ! she used to say that word a lot
Take care and hugs
Sue
scknight
I hope you find a new job soon Sal that is more compassionate and fair to its staff.
Ever since you joined here you have had one problem after another and they all seem to be down to people acting most innappropriately with personal information , confidential information or general tittle tattle and a bed of gossip and scandal mongers.
I wish you all the very best with finding yourself a new career that you can feel valued and forfilled with.
Love
Meg
Hi Sal, how are you doing? How was your day?
xxxxxxxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Thanks Meg
That is exactly how i feel i feel since day one it has being a living nightmare that has put me where i am today. I appreciate you replying to the post as was going to text you because at the moment i dont know where to turn.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
If it couldnt get worse, well it did. I approached the union today and he got me to see the head of personnel straight away. Not knowing that my PO and him dont get on so he wanted me to spill it all and get my PO suspended. That isnt what i want i would never dream of stooping that low. My PO doesnt seem to believe that people are talking and feels it is me that has spread the gossip. So basically it is a nightmare people are running to me, him and my SO making allegations. None which are true but the so and po believe them. I have been in touch with the staff welfare and they have offered to pay for 6 counselling sessions to help me through this and are worried that this is detriment to my help and i will go of sick again. The union rep obviously wants what i said about the po to come out so he can take action against him, a personal war they are using me as pawn to sort out.
I was supposed to see the governor tonight but he couldnt fit me in so i asked to see my PO and with him obviously knowing the union rep wanted to take further action he didnt want to speak to me and told my so that it was better at present that he had no contact with me. So it spiralled and i got totally upset and felt like i was losing it again. Then spoke to the personnel manager who tried to help and then to staff welfare but the head of the team who i spoke to today had gone sick by the time i had to ring her back.
I went to find my PO and he told me the reason he couldnt talk to me was because he could get suspended which totally gutted me as i dont want that to happen and people have made out that that is what i want.He is a boss and a mate and the situation hasnt being easy for any of us. I dont think my so has helped as he has stirred it all he can.
Coming out of work i heard more allegations that staff had said but the officer that told me named them so i am forearmed for seeing the governor in the morning. The story now has gone to that i put a table in front of the cell door to stop access to staff and a member of staff had tried to come in the cell but couldnt. It has got so out of hand and after seeing the governor tomorrow and getting a wing change after hearing that tonight i cant take it anymore and can see my only option is to go sick.
Sorry to rabbit on but my head is spinning and dont know what to do for the best.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Sal this just sounds horrible - I think if they cant clear this matter up quick sharpish then it doesn't leave you much option than to go sick.
No one would want to work under those conditions.
I hope something gets done immeditately.
Piglet xxx
O Sal, I would just go off, sounds like living torture, its not worth it, let us know how you go on,xxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Oh Sal,
This is awful what your going through and to be honest I think it would be best if you went sick.
It is making you worse being around all these allegations and it is making you dread going into work, it shouldnt be this way.
Maybe you should go sick.
Hope your ok xx
Let me know how it goes today xx
laura xx
Today i was the governor but bearing in mind i cant tell the full story as the PO will be suspended for his actions towards me. Hate the fact we are friends as this leaves me in the middle of it all Been told today that when the staff rotation comes in in 5 weeks i am off the wing even though only been on there for 10 months but to complain it drops him in it He even admitted he couldnt work with me as he had conflicting interests,so professionalism went our the window.
Gutted as the union is working on me and playing me off him. I cant win either way here and no one has put in measures to support me unless i tell the whole story. My SO has ob been told got a grievance in against him so he wont even look at me so work is just a nightmare and as long as i keep takin the diazepam and keep focussed it will all go to sleep when the time is right. I need help here as i dont know what to do at all
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hun this sounds so upsetting xxxx
I really feel for you and cant begin to imagine how you must be feeling xx
Cant you go sick? I really think that being in that enviroment is not helping things at all
I hope this all gets sorted soon hun xx
Thinking of you
Laura xx
That is what i want to do but need to find out if work related and if i will get paid.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Well I hope you can do that xx
Hope it all works out for you hun xx
Hope to speak soon xx
Thinking of you
Take care
Laura xx
Thanks hun will work the weekend and try to find out what is happening. Know it is going to be a long weekend but have asked to be detailed of the wing so will be on visits until it is sorted.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Good luck Sal - thinking about you and hoping you get out of this horrendous situation very very soon.
Piglet x
Yes Sal, agree with Pig,xxxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Hi Sal,
Will be thinking of you at the weekend.
Take good care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Paddington
03-03-06, 13:48
hello sal,i too have just read your messages,my poor love no wonder you are feeling shakey and clammy.Some people are beyond cruel aren't they and you have met one.i ALSO dont believe he thinks of you as a daughter,it stinks of jealousy to me!!Are you popular with the inmates and other staff sal?That is all it takes for some off these sad people to start a vendetta to discredit you,and it is appalling!You are doing all the right things girl,go for the enquiry and get compensation and some rest .Leaving is the best thing you can do for you and Sam.It's vile when you feel the world is against you but hey,we are all here and on your side,i send you good vibes and strength for your life journey,God bless.Mary-Rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Today has been really horrible i only got through half the shift and went sick. I couldnt handle anymore. I came home at 4.30 went to sleep and woke up at about 6 and have cried ever since. I cant cope and dont know what to do. Everything has gone so wrong and i cant seem to make it go right and i havent got the strength again to fight it.
Im scared i wont get through this.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Im sorry you have had a bad day hun xxxxxx
You WILL get through this and I will help you xxxxx
Dont give up this will get better xxxx
You know where I am if you need me xxxx
Thinking of you
Laura xx
I apreciate that hun but i honestly am struggling to cope anymore. Sick of everything going wrong and hurting like this. No one at work cares or ever tries to understand.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
HI Sal
I know you can do this, we are all here for you, just talk it through tomorrow, you may find once the meeting is over you will be able to think better. good luck.
jenn
Sal hun i am here for you and love ya to bits xxxx
Please dont give up on this xx
Please talk to me i want to help you xx
This WILL get better
Love
Laura xx
I cant too much has happened. Have phoned in sick for tomorrows shift and not sure what to do next. Just know i am not coping and so scared that this is me back to square one.
Sounds horrible but so pleased Sam is at her dads so tomorrow i can concentrate on what i am going to do next.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hun I think you should just go sick xx
This is making you feel awful and it isnt worth the worry and dread that it is bringing on you xx
I will not let this take over and make you go back to square one xx
I am here for you and tomorrow if you need me dont hesitate to call xx
Love Laura xx
Thanks Laura
It has got so much worse and i cant cope with it. I know will be penalised for going sick but not sure what else they expect me to do.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
hi sal,
i have been following this, hope your ok.
how can you be penalised for going sick?
i think ive read this right - a situation happened at work whereby sexual allegations where made against you, the situation hasnt been handled professionally and numerous rumors and innuendos have been spread about you, youve received no support and just been dragged into political in-fighting - which has totally stressed you out.
why should you have to cope with that? its not what your getting paid to do. your obviously stressed out, go to your doctor explain your situation. start looking for something else why your getting paid to be off, it takes time to get a proper job.
and once your able to sit back and brush this situation off you'll see your not back at square one, just in the middle of a s**t situation.
you take care hun .. andrew xx
Hi Sal,glad your having a few days off, have a rest, treat yourself.xxxxxxxxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
I too am glad you have decided not to go in - you need a break from that environment.
Love Pigletxx
Andrew
Thank you for your reply. That sums up exactly what i have been trying to say but couldnt put it in words. Thanks mate.
Hope you are okay would be great to hear how you are doing?
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Paddington
06-03-06, 00:06
how you feelin today?It's horrible to feel so low,but we are all here foryou,and worry with you too,as well as about you.Hold on and remember,you are the better person in all this.It will end ,this situation!As i said before i think this stems from a jealousy that has got out of hand.You can deal with this!we are here to listen.Love Mary-Rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Sal,
know theres nothing i can say to help your situation at work,
You have taken so much crap from this job, more than anyone else would have taken, i do hope things work out in your favour in the long run, you deserve a much better working enviroment than that, i cant believe how badly you have been treated,
take care
kairen x
How are you today sal?xxxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Thanks for all your replies, now i have gone sick it is a case of out of sight out of mind. Left a message for my union rep today so i have covered all avenues and if they dont get in touch what more can i do. The best thing to come out of this is that Si and i have talked and talked somemore and things are okay between us. Couldnt have got through the weekend without him.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sis xx
Im really pleased things are working out between you and Si xx
I hope it makes you happy xx
You know im always here for you if you need me xx
Love ya loads
Laura xx
Thanks Sis
I am happy he is the Si i met and when things went wrong i wasnt big enough to admit it was my doing and blamed it all on him.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal,
Thinking of you. Hope your doing okay today?
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Just got a call from the union rep so i am going to meet him at 1.15 in his office along with the care team manager. He has allocated me a personal union rep which isnt himself. Its not unusual for that to happen but i was hoping he would fight my case, but then how things have turned out between my po and him it is probably the best solution.
Will let you know how it goes, feeling sick just thinking about it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
i will keep my fingers crossed today for you
hope it goes well.
kairen x
Just read this Sal, you will be there now, hope its gone ok.xxxxx
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Hope you get on ok.
Love Piglet xx
Hi Sal,
Hope everything went alright today.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Hi Hun xx
Hope everything went ok today xx
Speak soon xx
Love
Laura xx
How did it go Sal? Hope you are ok.
Karen
Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey
Hi sal, how are things, are you OK?
Most of lifes battles are won, by looking beyond the clouds to the sun:
and having the patience to wait for the day,when the sun comes out and the clouds go away.
love from Alexisxx
Thank you for your replies.
Meeting went okay and Ian has passed me over to another union rep. Probably for the best with what Dave is saying but i have to decide now if i take further action agains Dave. A fight i would lose as he is a step ahead and knows all the actions. Since i went sick on friday it has been reported that Ian came to see me and we were laughing and joking like nothing was a problem, another set up to make it harder for me in my case. Someone obviously doesnt want to give me any peace but dragging the union guy in just shows how low they get. He is obviously upset but no one would put a name to the rumour so he couldnt deal with it. He was more upset that someone really wants to see me suffer.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal,
Thinking of you. Glad the meeting went okay. Really hope things start to move on for you now.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Hi Alex
Thanks Got a sick note today for 2 weeks and have to apply for sick excusal to personnel so will write a letter tomorrow and put all the details in. Then they can take it from there.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Still thinkin of you Sal.
Love Piglet x
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Thank you hun
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal,
Hope you got on okay with your letter.
Thinking of you.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Still trying to write it to make it sound the best i can. Thanks for your support.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Good luck with the letter Sal
Thinking of you
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Thanks Alex
Still trying to put it all down on paper.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal,
How are you doing today?
Thinking of you have also sent you a pm.
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
thanks Al
Got your pm am going to try and put the letter together later and see how it sounds. So much to say but dont want to rabble on in it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal
Perhaps you could try listing out the main points you want to include first and when you have a clear list you could use this to form the basis of your letter.
It is often easier to keep to the main facts and write a more concise letter this way.
Karen
Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey
Thanks Karen
I have written a letter with all the details in and i am now going to shorten points, so they are noted but not going on too much.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal,
Thinking of you
(((HUGS)))
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Hope its going ok mate and that you are gettin nearer to a conclusion.
Love Piglet x
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Read the letter and changed it so many times. Seem to get brave and detail all who have let me down then feel guilty for dropping people in it. Not that one of them have bothered to contact me and see how i am.
Si is coming over on friday night so will have it ready to how i would send it and see what he thinks as he is really good at things like that.
Thanks guys.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Still reading and thinking of you Sal.xxx
Cheers mate and i am still thinking of you have just sent you a reply to your post.
Take care and i am here all the time for you.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
It hasnt being an easy weekend and i have faced a lot of things about work. Luckily i have had Simon here to talk things through with. Letter is all ready to send now and just hope someone takes notice of how i am feeling. Today was a bad day i felt like i did years ago but got through it due to experience of the past, still scared as was so hard that i will go back to where i was and i know i couldnt do that again.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Pleased the letter is ready to go off Sal and I hope this helps to get the matter sorted.
Take care hun.
Love Piglet
Hi Sal
Sorry you had a bad day yesterday but glad you have sorted out your letter now.
Thinking of you
(((HUGS)))
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Hi All
Went to see a counsellor today that work have arranged for me, or should i say the staff care and welfare team. I have heard from my SO today and he sounded a bit jittery but obvious when he told me the news, yet again i have being referred to Section 5 referral ie medical retirement and they has just ignored again why i am off. I cope with the day to day job just like others do and i am sure anyone in my position would feel like i do but again i am being penallised for it without any consideration being taken into why i am off. Have a big fight in front of me now as doing this so soon it is obvious they are wanting me out of the service. Would love to be out of it but until have a new jobs i am in limbo. Worst senario is a court case and having to sell the house but until i get a response to the letter i sent i dont know what is happening.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
hi hun,
they might actually want to out you, but what they want and what they can do aren't always the same thing. find out, unless you know, what the medical retirement policy is. i did think it was standardised, something like - if after 24 weeeks off sick it has been medically established that you will not be able to resume your duties, then they have got 3 months to try and find you another job that you are able to do within the company. if nothing is found then they can out you. then you've the option of industrial tribunal - they created this not you. im not sure what your senario is of a court case and selling the house, try and stay calm and positive.
free counselling cant beat it. i hope your otherwise well, you take care .. andrew xx
Hi Sal,
Thinking of you. Hope things work out for you.
You know you have my continued support.
Thinking of you
((((HUGS)))
Take Care
Alex
Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart
Thanks Andrew
I have emailed my letter of complaint to my union rep and if he is happy with it he will then give it to head of personnel. Can only go from what happens after that. Never know a Section 5 referall to be done after 3 weeks absense and i havent being of with stress for over two years now, feels a bit personal at this level now but i am not going to stand down on this one.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Alex
Thanks hun, really appreciate it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Good luck with everything Sal, thinking of you.
Lisa x
Still here for you Sal.xxx
Thank you and i appreciate all your support.
Have had no email back to the email i sent to personnel so all i can do is await to see what they say. Had decided to brush it under the carpet but as time went by i couldnt do that again and had to say how it was.
Right or wrong i have done it now and can only wait and see what support i get from this or again maybe they will dismiss it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
hi sal,
im going through something like what you are, but i have no responability other then myself. like you i have been accused of something i havent done, or if did it was a jokey way. i have been accused of verbal abuse, with the intention to lash out. i have been suspened so they can do a full invesigation. i was going to just walk away from it all and find another job, but then i knew i was letting them win. i have been in hospital because of all this, i had a panic attack in my sleep they thought is was a blood clot. my rib musles locked on my lungs. all i can say is this person or your boss is not worth it, to be honest everyonme in work place will save thier own bum. my boss turned on me, so i know the feeling. i am a very strong believer in what comes around goes around. xx
s.walters
Thanks Sarah
It is hard and fully understand how you feel and what you are saying. I am here for you to, take care.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
I have still had no reply from my letter i sent to the head of personnel. I was hoping she would take this matter seriously and contact me by phone as soon as possible, but hope was all i had.
I received by Section 5 referral forms through the post (medical retirement) and another letter along side it from Staff Welfare offering any support they can. Quite a sad situation recieving one where they want to boot you out then another offering you support.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi Sal,
Hugs for you too, thinking of you.
It's not the same but I was forced out of a job the year before last just because I have M.E, I was penalised for being genuinely ill and it was a horrible and stressful situation. Eventually they ended up paying me to leave as they didn't want it to go to court and I agreed as I was too ill to go through a court case. Thankfully I now have lovely employers.
One of my closest friends is going through a works tribunal soon too for sexual harrassment, I do understand how hard work issues can be.
Hang in there and take care,
Lisa x
Thanks Lisa
That must have being so hard on you.
I dont think they will pay me out before a tribunal so can only see it going the whole way, but i will be strong and wont let them beat me again.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
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