Day 8 - Still bubbling anxiety

[Dragonsblonde]

On day 7 (sorry not 8 head not working) of 10mg of CIT now and my anxiety has dropped from the massive mind churning, body trembling state I was in. The headaches seem to be easing although I still have an upset stomach (maybe from the anxiety and bad eating as much as the tablets)

I have a check up appointment with my doctor tonight and unsure if at this early stage she will suggest increasing the doseage of my tablets at all.

I am still finding it hard to do anything new, but new little things like walking into work for the first time. Had to sit outside and chat to a friend for half an hour before I could go in. Am finding it hard still to see the sucessess rather than the challenges still to come.

I know I am doing much better than this time last week and also know I should be looking at how much better I will be feeling next week, but still stuck in the "what if I fail again" nasty mind cycle.

Any words of wisdom out there?

[Thumbelina]

well done for turning up to work, it will help you to recover much faster.
I am on 10mg of cipralex.
I normally try to take very slow but steady steps towards returning to routine and normal schedule after relapse.

Everything feels like you are doing it for the first time.
Its either you do it at once or slowly.

Whatever works for you better.

Thinking patterns - mostly cause the anxiety formation and then transformation into panis and brinning our mood down.

If we keep thinking healthy and positive then wecant get into cycle.
Chase the bad thinking scenarios away as soon as it comes to your mind.

[Dragonsblonde]

Hi

Thanks for the reply. I guess it is perfectly normal to feel this way in the beginning of treatment. I guess I still have a small part of me that hopes that "this" day (whichever day it is) will be the day I feel like me again

Also I suppose the actual calming down from the manic panic of last week at times feels like sadness rather than just being calmer now. It is hard to judge for yourself most of the time as it becoms hard to remember what you used to be before all this started

Just back from lunch with friends and their children, which would normally make me feel great, but still had this little background niggle in my head that wouldn't clear and now have slumped just a bit as part of me is saying that proves I am not well and just wants to feel "normal" again.

I know positive thinking is the way forward, but struggling a bit today with that :shrug:

[Thumbelina]

I am struggling myself at the moment. It looks hard on this side but when its over - it will look easy

[Dragonsblonde]

am mainly struggling with this feeling of being down now....not sure if it might just be in comparision to the high anxiety of the past couple of weeks and actually should look on it as a blessing - could just be exhaustion I guess from the rollarcoaster ride

[Dragonsblonde]

Now offically day 8 of the meds. Saw my doctor again last night and she seems ok with how things are going. One more week on the 10mg and then she says to up it to 20mg. Split emotion on that, wanted

Still anxious this morning when I woke up and a bit of a stuggle to get going. The standard (for me at least) fear of facing the day not being normal

This morning has gone ok, little bits in the back of the mind bubbling - need to keep seeing the positive. Almost as if now a little as I am having calmer moments and even at times happier moments that the lows are more obvious and it is easy to slip a little