New, horrible thoughts

[LouD]

Hi i'm new,

not sure whether i have ocd, i have horrible thoughts and think about these constantly for days, then gradually they go away, then they come back again. It's strange because at the time they make we want to kill myself, but i don't want to die because my life is brilliant. These thoughts make me think i am a horrible person.

I am a born worrier, and horrible things in the news/tv that most people can never think about again, i can't. Something horrible sticks in my mind and doesn't leave for ages, i'm extremely sensitive about everything.

Hope i'm not the only person out there that is like this

LouD

[trac67]

Hi Lou,

Remember these are just thoughts and they cannot harm you, when they appear try to think of other things instead, say something that makes you laugh, or some where that you love to be, it really does help.

Try these links and see if they help :

Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=283)
Mind Games (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1789)
obsessive thoughts & anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3096)
Still suffering this damn "suggestive" thing.. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4288)
How to CURE yourself ! The definitive guide here.. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5357)
Its happening again ! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6094)
Things to consider for success! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6165)
[Link removed as post deleted]
Thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7187)
image projection in my mind (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7358)

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[LouD]

Thanks your comments are really helpful. At the moment i'm not feeling so good. I've noticed that these thoughts are worst when i'm premenstral. I've startred to get anxious when this time approaches now and the thoughts keep coming back. It's really scary not to be in control of your own thoughts, thinking thoughts you don't want. It's like it'll go away, and then i'll remind myself. I know i'm not a horrible person and i would never act on them, its the guilt of having them that i cannot seem to get out of my head. I wish it would just go away, and i know i have to do that myself.

LouD

[Meg]

Thats is soooooo normal..

odd thoughts... (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5201)
Strange thoughts....Anyone else? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5294)
Silly thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5694)
strange things! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6461)
worried... (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7323)
scared and down! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7389)

Living in my head 24/7 (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6491)
ITS ALWAYS AFTRWARDS (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=775)

obsessional negative thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3343)
what if I kill someone? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1972)
Horrible thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5280)
Morbid thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5482)
just needing some reassurance i'm not alone (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6532)
Feeling lonely (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6820)
What's happening to me? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7446)



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[ashley]

Dont let it control you, you control it you are the boss

you are so not the only person who thinks that way... i do too.

i get nasty nasty thoughts,lotes of negetive ones ..its not nice is it... i do suffer with that,thats what got me in to trouble... negetive thoughts produce symtoms i tell ya...stop the cycle... that is what i have to re-train myself to do, and proffessional help is what i will do for this.

ash x

[Southern_Belle]

Hi, I'm the exact same way. It helps me to not read the newspapers or watch the news on t.v. If I do, I just obsess about it and stay up at night worrying over things I can't control. That is what I really worry about - things I can't control. Stupid things really, I rationalize it in my head that I'm crazy to worry about such things, but can't control it. I try putting pleasant thoughts in my head but the bad always wins! It may sound crazy but if I don't know what is going on bad out there in the world I don't worry about it, besides there isn't much I can do about it anyway!

Good Luck,

Beluga

[Mollysmum]

I have been having horrid thoughts for nearly 2 or 3 years now, and this last year I have suffered Anxiety attacks and this month my first panic attack.
I have always thought I was a strong person, and it really cuts me up inside, I feel so emotional all the time and now my sleep is being affected.
I think I know the cause of why it started happening, but am very angry that I cannot control it, and I have tried. I've seen the doctor lots of times, and tried breathing exercises, but I just want it to go away, I am worried that it may develop into something more terrible like schizophrenia, and I don't want to become like that...what a life to lead.....surely there must be something I can do to make it go away for good...my life is slowly being ruined by it all.

[kareuk]

Hi Lou

We are all the same. I can't watch news, depressing films, you name it. From someone that never gave it a moments thought - I now can obsess and worry about something I see. What I am learning to do is to let it run its course. I know I will wake up the next day and wonder what I was so concerned about. PMT is also a big time of the month - I agree totally that I lose all perspective in the week prior. I am sure there is something major to do with hormones and irrational worry!!!

My concerns got so bad (and at that stage I didn't know I had OCD) that I even contemplated leaving this world as I wanted it all to stop. Now I just laugh at it and I have to say that knowing that there are millions of people that experience the same thing and are wonderful, brilliant persons as well makes me feel so much calmer and normal about it.

Sorry if this does not make sense but keep smiling, let the worry go and things will get better. Don't let it win!

Big hugs

[Anzie2008]

I am suffering with exactly the same thing. Horrible thoughts about suicide and stuff. It's so awful, it makes me feel so low and stuff even though I know I don't want to die. When I think about dying seriously, I just think "oh my God no, that isn't what I want" but the thoughts really get you down.
I too am worse when I'm Premenstrual. The thought and general anxiety are really bad during this time, and I go really moody and tearful.

Its tough, just got to try and keep going & tell ourselves that we're being ridiculous and these thoughts will pass!! x

[fed up with it]

Hi i can really relate to these thoughts, i am having constant suicidal thoughts to the point where i am starting to believe there are real. Premenstrally they are so bad and during the period i feel so low i think i am going to act on the thoughts!

[katie xoxox]

hi, im new so i'm not really sure if this is still going, but i'm being really really troubled by horrible thoughts. I wouldnt even feel so bad if it was just fear of stuff happening to me or suicidal but its just horrible stuff. Does anyone have thoughts where they are doing terrible things, and even thought they konw they never ever would do them and think they are awful it really bothers them that such thing come into there brain at all?

[micktheblade8]

Yep, all the time. The very fact Ive had these kind of thoughts for a while and never had the urge to act keeps me strong.

If you need any advice, pm me.

Take care

Michael

[ipanicbadly]

Hiya,

I have horrible thoughts too ranging from killing people who I am with and killing myself and stuff like that. These are definitely all part of OCD and the sheer fact that you hate having these thoughts show that you would never act on them and can control them. Everybody has these thoughts and the e difference between people who normally control them and us is that we fixate on them and get paranoid about them whereas everybody else put them to the back of their mind and forget about them. I found the best way to get rid of them is to accept that you are having the thought and let it leave. I usually stand in front of the mirror and reassure my self that these are just thoughts not actions and they will go away. 5 months on I am fighting fit and rarely have them now which is really positive. I hope this helps and sending you lots of hugs in this horrible time.

Maggie

XXXXXX

[Lou17]

Katie I can totally realte. xxx

[hallam11]

Hi,

I havent been able to speak about this quite so openly except for with my counsellor with fear of being locked up. For the past 4 years or so I have had horrible thoughts. These are thoughts about hurting other people and it scares me so much that sometimes i cry so much i feel im going to break myself. The fear is immense and is very scary, i suppose thats a panic attack? I've always been a worrier but this is taking it all a bit too far!!!!

It all started when i was going through a rough patch and i remembered a story someone told me at school, a bit of a sick story actually and i remembered at the time that i hadn't really felt much of anything when everyone else was a bit shocked by it. Since then if i have seen anything on the news, tv, papers about something that someone has done I think i will do it. Anything on the news that is horrible I just think i will do, sometimes i know i couldn't do it and i really don't think i want to but because i've had it for so long and it hasn't gone away i think to myself thats a sign that i am like this and i will hurt people, the doubt takes over and i can't get away from it. I've been in counselling and it helps, it really does and I can go months without a bad patch and then it comes crashing down on me and i feel positivley awful and slightly suicidal. The thing is I know if i did something i'd feel horrible and give myself up!!!

Am I a bad person?

Laura

[Maj]

Of course you are not a bad person! Please don't think this for a minute - you'll be completely the opposite!! Also, I firmly believe that the people who have these thoughts are the most caring, sensitive people and wouldn't hurt a fly. That's why the thoughts have such power over you. They are based on anxiety and the effect they have on you and of your dislike of them. Please try to accept them as normal at the moment and if you do this then you'll relax and you'll be able to see them for what they are. We are very suggestable when very anxious - everything we read and watch on t.v. we think we'll be doing that next!! It's all part of a pattern. Please try and relax when they happen and you'll be on the right road.:hugs:
Myra

[hallam11]

Thank you Myra,

Its hard sometimes to believe that they are just a form of OCD or whatever it is and not just who I am. I am trying and I have seen counsellors about this which I have to say does help. I really don't understand it sometimes because I like helping people and want to do more to help but then I have these thoughts and get very confused and start believing i am a bad person on par with HITLER!
I will keep trying to beat this but after 4 years i feel im back to square one with no improvement even though I have been told there has been some.

Anyway thank you

Laura xxxx

[Maj]

o.c.d. does seem to take over your life but you can learn to live with it. Please accept the fact that you're not a bad person. You're just an awful anxious person with a vivid imagination that can get better!:hugs:
Myra x

[peanuts]

hallam i am the same i try and stay aaway from watching or hearing anything disturbing now as i think if i hear or see it i will then do it - i hate having the intrusive thoughts and the feelings that feels almost like the urge to do some of the things sometimes.

[Nicky15]

Hi Lou,
I have intrusive thoughts too it is horrible while they are there. I too am sensitive and a born worrier hence why they seem to affect us more. I am having councelling for mine and am on antidepressants. Not that I am saying you need to its just when I read your message I really felt for you. Try to keep your chin up.:hugs:Nicky

[hallam11]

Hi Peanuts,

Everything you have said I have felt! Its extrordinary that someone else feels the same way. When I first went to my counsellor about it I thought they were going to call the police or a mental institute and lock me up. I was extremely frightened and god so unhappy. I have finished my counselling only because I left university after graduating and stopped my antidepressants because every tablet they gave me I had awful side effects even though they helped my moods i couldn't take the effects I had. Counselling for me was very helpful and I would definately return. I go through bouts where for long periods I am ok but then I'll go downhill. I am trying to get over this but Its a long hard slog for me!

Hope everyone is ok
Keep your peckers up!
Laura xxxxx