I'm spent!...

[AngelHope]

Not sure where to begin, but have had PTSD for over 20+, starting w/childhood abuse.

I fell into a bad relationship, and unfortunaely had a child w/the man.
He has turned into a nightmare w/now a criminal background. It's been 10 years and he still won't leave us alone. :weep:

Yes I've had a restraining order on him before, but lately just in last month he hasn't done anything to bother us.

The problem is it's just been heightening my ptsd and triggers. I don't feel comfortable going anywhere. I wake up in tears each morn and just wish he would go away. I have a plan/goal to move, but may take awhile.

We are just living in a nightmare, and I'm tired and spent! I've been going to therapist each week and it helps, but in between it's just watching our backs. Hasn't helped that all professionals I've been forced to deal w/lately due to him, tell me to watch our backs....it's not my imagination or flashbacks...it's REAL...and i'm really tired!

Any similar experieces or feedback would be appreciated! I need all the support I can get right now. Hey, I slept about 6 hrs straight...that's a good eve for me! Lol...:blush:

Anyway, thanks for any input or sharing! Peace!

[Lynnann]

Hi Angel,

You are not alone here, you are among friends:) The problem you have is you are trying to adjust to past traumas while still experiencing the need for the flight or flee response and it is a real and present need.

All I can say is that I understand your difficulty and hope for your life to become calmer to enable you to start on the road to recovery and achieve your goals.

Lynnann:flowers:

[AngelHope]

Thank you so much for your encouraging response! It's so much appreciated! Sometimes just venting and chatting w/people in similar situations or feelings does the most help of all of course; because only we know how it feels!

Yes it's diffucult working on past and now present events...it's tiring...but hey I've been knocked down many times...and I get straight up again!
And looking forward to working on more recovery and acheiving my goals; I'm actually excited! Like our life will be renewed (once this nightmare is over).

Again, thank you for lending an ear and kind word, words can't express my appreciation! Have a peaceful day! :flowers:

"sometimes you have to walk through the dark to get to the light..."

[ammiemum]

i have been married twice both times abusive men -in different ways the second went on for twenty years! YOU WILL FIND THE STRENGTH. the most fantastic thing that helped me -and i keep saying it is [I]THE FREEDOM PROJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please for your sanity try and find a group-i missed my first meeting as i have a habit of running away from unknownand to me, 'scary things'.for me it has been a lifesaver...i went as i thought i had nothing else to lose.......it is only very small groups and the lady who ran ours had been through it .they have info on all sorts of contacts and is for both physical and/or mental abuse.
thinking of you and wish you well.


www.freedomprogramme.co.uk (http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk) i hope it is okay to put this on?

[AngelHope]

Thanks so much! I really appreciate the feedback. Yes, I am away from him, but he won't leave me alone is the prob. We can't wait to move and start our life anew! But it will take a lil' more time than I want...etc. thanks U I will look into this group, I've been looking locally for any support groups, but nothing has come up yet. I well def give this a try...and get brave to go to mtgs...etc. just like U said, the unknown makes me feel "scared". I'm slowing coming out of my shell if he likes it or not!

Thanks again, I'll have to keep u posted If I can find a mtg. nearby, etc.!
Have a peacful day ! :flowers:

[AngelHope]

OOps...looked it's only in UK? do u know if they cater to US?! thanks

[ammiemum]

sorry not been on for a while and sorry i didnt look where you were from.oops! i haven't been able to find out about usa but maybe get in touch with them and ask if they know of anything similar in usa? good luck