Why do I fear the outside world?

[MrsCluggy]

Hi Everyone, Just found this website after reading about it in the Daily Mail this morning. I don't necessarily believe in God or anything like that, but, this morning I awoke to the usual feelings of an oncoming panic attack. I have been trying to occupy myself all morning when I decided to give myself a break and read the paper. There, by some divine intervention was the article on panic attacks. I'm finding this happens to me all the time. I feel panicky and anxious, the onset of agoraphobia is at the back of my mind, then suddenly, something like this article will fall into my lap and I no longer feel alone ! Coincidence? I have no idea. It's just happening too many times for me to believe in coincidence I'm afraid. Anyway, my panicky thoughts started last night. I hardly got any sleep and I awoke reaching for my Diazepam. Only 2mgs but I do find that it takes the edge off my anxiety. And the reason for my anxiety today .... having to take my son to school and knowing that I would be alone in the house until my husband returns from work or when I have to pick up my son at 3.30 p.m. How pathetic is that ! I have done the school run 1,000 times, but somedays I just find going out of the house too difficult. This scares me whitless. I feel stupid, I feel totally pathetic. I'm a 36 year old woman who is finding it difficult to put one foot in front of the other to go and fetch my son. What has made it worse is that I can't use my car because it's out of service so I have had the choice of taking the car taken away from me. This makes me panic. This makes me feel frightened. Am I alone in feeling like this because I really feel like just breaking down and crying. I am so ashamed. This shouldn't be happening to me, I thought I was getting better, this is the first panic attack I have had in months and the first time in those months that I have had to reach for my medication. Pathetic.

J. Clouston

[trac67]

Hi Mrs Cluggy,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[PurpleRain]

Hi
Firstly i want to say that you are not stupid or at all pathetic! It is the anxiety feelings that are making you this way and it can happen to anybody!

Im new here but i just wanted to say that i think you will find alot of help and reassurance here and im not very good at giving advice but i understand just how hard it can be and know how you are feeling and how difficult it can really get sometimes!
I thiunk its great that you can pick up your child from school! That shows that you are a strong person and not totally giving in to the panic attacks!

Please dont feel alone you are not and it seems maybe you have had a bit of a setback which has happened to me also...I hope that you start to feel better soon and work through this!

x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Mrs Cluggy

You are not stupid atall and you will get better with all the support we can offer you on here.

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

You can get over this ok.

Nicola

[Karen]

Hi Mrs Cluggy

Welcome to the forum.

It is not stupid at all to experience anxiety and panic. There is a lot of support here and you can recover.



Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

[Piglet]

Not at all pathetic - lots of mums on here trying to cope with the school run so do have a good look round the site.

A big welcome to you.

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[bluesparkle]

hi and welcome to nmp :D
this is a great place to be... and as you can already see you are most definately not alone...
just want to second what the others have said you are not at all stupid or pathetic... and we do understand...
you will get loads of good advice here and make lots of friends
take care
rach

[Jenny]

Hi,
Most of us on this site felt just the same as you are doing now at some point. I read this recently:- ANY NEGATIVE TRAITS I IDENTIFY ARE NOT REALLY MINE. THEY BELONG TO MY NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE AND WERE PROGRAMMED INTO ME WHEN I WAS A CHILD'
It has helped me believe. I am not pathetic or stupid. They are just thoughts in my head, and I am not going to listen to them any more.

Hope it helps

Besty Wishes
Jenny xxxxx