I don't think I'm depressed. Advice please.

[Lissy43]

Hi, quick recap of my year..
I had a pregnancy in December which didnt take and i had an op to remove it, after the op i developed a fear of my periods as they went very heavy. I went on the pill to lighten them and it has helped but i still dread my periods and panic about bleeding to death. This is because i had bad gushes during my period after the op:(( i wish this phobia would go, i never had it b4. Im nervous coz im due on nxt week:(

Also i worry bout my health again, every ache or pain & im jumpy. TotAl nightmare and its ruining my life, aswell as the bleeding phobia.

How can i stop this?:((( i thought id got over health anxiety but im back to not handling illness at all. I panic and cry if i feel the slightest bit ill. I had bad HA a few years ago.

I saw gp n he said im not depressed so doesnt want to go down route of meds. I did depression test and scored low but i do feel low coz of all the worry, im stressed and snappy too with the kids and hubby at times:((( i hate meds tho as i can only take the old anti ds, they make u feel worse. I had a reaction to a more modern one.

Ive a good life, hubby and i are happy again after splitting for 3 mths. Ive just had a rough yr, with the anxiety and upset with th op, constant phobia of bleeding and i was ill with helicobacter earlier this yr.

Any advice? I dont want to panic everytime im ill or on my period:((( Am i depressed or very stressed? I dont cry, or stay indoors, or want to end things... So GP says im just stressed and worried.

[Lissy43]

Ps- ive always worried and thought ive something serious if im ill. Last week i had an upset tum one day and abdo pain and i freaked out thinking i was ill with septicemia or meningitis. I know too many symptoms and i panic. Meningitis used to be my huge fear yrs ao.

Ive had counselling and cbt in past which helped but i just cant see me ever not worrying:((im only 30, i want a life!!

[Thumbelina]

Hi Jessica,

The doctor told me before - when I was telling him I am very scared to be depressed over my panic attacks, that he symptoms of anxiety and depression are like to circles overlapping in the middle. You have mixed symptoms and you wouldnt even knwo for sure what it is at times, so there is no need to worry over it.

I also get reactive depression - which does not last that long, but I know why is it happening, so whats the point of getting upset.

Hope it helps..

[Lissy43]

I guess im just wondering if anyone has any opinon on whether it is just anxiety, and what depression feels like?

[blueangel]

Hi there

One of the things I learnt from my GP was that anxiety and depression are separate things that have a lot of overlapping areas, like Thumbalina said. Therefore it's possible to have depression, or anxiety, or both together.

When I do the depression/anxiety questionnaires, I always score fairly high on the anxiety score, even if I think I feel OK - which I guess means that I am generally an anxious person and will always be that way. To that extent, I can live with a certain level of anxiety and not take too much notice. When it gets back for me is when I reach "overload" levels with the anxiety, as at this time I really start to notice it, and I will get plagued with intrusive thoughts and not be able to get rid of them.

As for the difference in how anxiety and depression feel, they're quite separate, at least for me. I think of it as anxiety being "active" and depression being "passive". When I'm anxious I feel very alert and quite "wired". At lowish levels it's even quite enjoyable as it makes me feel full of energy. However, at higher levls it's exhausting as you can't get any rest.

Depression weighs you down, slows you down. Depression is waking up in the morning and falling down a black hole that you can't climb out of. Everything is an effort, and it's easier to go back to bed or lie on the settee all day as there's no point to anything.

That's my view of it anyway - does that help?

[onceagain]

Hi Thumberlina

just read your reply and you mentioned reactive depression, my file at doctors showed a high lighted reactive depression what does this mean???

[onceagain]

just googled it doesn't sound like me at all and so will speak to them about this I've been suffering far longer than six months as googling states... but yes other things like I always state I do react badly to others behaviour stuff I'm not in control of, which I know gets me down but I am also aware that I cannot control what others choose to do therefore am always open to hurt.

[Lissy43]

Thanks for your replies.

I don't think I have depression, more that the anxiety makes me feel low because at times it's constant, where as some days I can beat it.

Summer hols, rain and 3 children isn't helping;-)

[daydreamer]

hey, I dont think your depressed. Like the others have said, and also from my own experience, when you have such bad anxiety it can get you down and yes I do feel depressed at times but then like you I have days when I can feel fine. I think with everything you've been going through youre probably just highly anxious and stressed, which is to be expected. Do you think you could ask from some more CBT? or maybe you could consider something like Hypnotherapy? Ive heard some people on here have had success with it. Wishing you well x

[Lissy43]

Thank you.

Im seeing gp soon, going to ask him for CBT again.

Im still very active, bustmy, go out of the house etc, so i think that is why my GP thinks im ok, but yes the anxiety weighs you down and makes you low.

I did have 2 sessions of hypno but i never felt i went under?? Like it was a con? Lol!
Thank you for replying.

[daydreamer]

oh ok, Im not sure about hypno because I have never had any myself but a few people on here have said it worked for them. I suppose everyones different and what works for some doesnt work for others. Have you tried doing relaxation CD's? apparently relaxation works well for stress. I tried doing them when I first had my relapse and they didnt work at all because I was just to anxious and stressed I didnt want to let go in a way, I thought thats nonsense its not going to help at all. As I became less anxious, simple breathing techniques did start to have some effect. I mean they arent a cure all because Im still anxious and stressed but they can help a bit, maybe thats something you could try? x

[Lissy43]

Thank you. I really do need to try relaxation cds, a few people have told me about them.

With me it's more that I panic whenever I feel an ache/pain, some kind of symptom.... I always assume im seriously ill with something nasty like meningitis etc... I can't just be feeling unwell, or it can't just be a pain. I wish that would just stop, I don't really know anyone else who thinks like me.

[despairnot]

You seem to be very concerned about whether it's depression or anxiety that you're feeling - and in a way it doesn't matter - you're suffering and need some support or help. A decent therapist will be able to work with whatever symptoms and feelings that you have. Your fear of illness is not uncommon, people often have these kinds of worries - but what causes it is interesting. Some people go for a kind of therapy that works on the symptoms, like CBT - and tries to alter the way you think. Other therapies work on getting to the root of the issue, and equip you with a different way of being. Different therapies suit different people - I would, as a therapist, want to help get to the root of the issue, whilst helping with the current situation. Just having a safe and therapeutic relationship can help a great deal with anxiety. Your experience of the operation may well have caused you a lot of trauma, and it may be buried and need some airing. Ask your GP for a referral, and check out the different kinds of therapy available and see what you like the sound of. It's possible to get counselling or therapy privately too, and if funds are an issue there are reduced fee schemes.

Best wishes

[Lissy43]

I guess I am just very concerned if it was to be depression then Iw ould need meds. I took dothiepin anti d about 6 years ago and it knocked me for six, I was so tired and found it hard with the children feeling like that. They helped but I felt very out of it. They tried the more modern SSRI meds but I had an allergic reaction so GP is reluctant to prescribe them to me, I am too.

I don't feel like I am depressed, I just feel more than anything stressed out and anxious. Today is a good day though and I am trying to look at things differently.

I did pm you yesterday. Thanks for your help.

[Foandyodie]

hi i had quite a bad illness, twice in quick succesion have blood tansfusions each time and suffered from panic attacks / anxiety all of the time, looking to make sure i knew where the nearest hospital was etc... and making sure i was safe, they did subside, but now they are back and i am not sure why but they are much worse, make sure you keep speaking to the doctor as your health / recovery is only as good as your doctor, i have now been given anti depressants (even though i dont think i am depressed) but i was so bad they gave me diazapam which is quite an instant relazant....

[Lissy43]

Sorry to hear of your bad luck.

I just dont' want meds as i have young children, and they just make me feel spaced out.

Maybe I do need a relaxant, but I'd rather try other methods.

Having a bad run of illness does takes its toll on your body, mentally too I think.

[despairnot]

You don't have to take antidepressants if you are depressed, but some people find them helpful to get through a difficult patch...it's a balance you have to decide upon yourself. I would get a GP referral for therapy, or if you can afford it, pm me your area and I will try to get a recommedation or contact in your area. I work in the NHS but there are also national networks of therapists. Therapy is usually around £30-£60 a session.