agoraphobia and moving house [Archive]

angel light

27-07-10, 08:44

A big hello to everyone

Im new here and was wondering if anyone can help with any advice or tips.I currently have agoraphobia with graded exposure i can drive alone 3-4 miles and shop and socialise within that area.

With a trusted person I can be a passenger about 20 miles or so - hard though!

September due to a relationship breakdown I have got to do a journey as a passenger about 1 hour 15 mins ( 60 odd mile id say) im moving back in with my parents for a while and be near my family again.

I havnt been outside this 20 mile span in 2 years now and the thought of making this journey is terrible for me.Also being in a strange house and towwn leaving my comfort zone.

Graded exposure has worked for me but it hasnt done it quick enough for me to travel september, I am being a passenger 2 or 3 times a week now and travelling down the route I will take - but I havnt got many weeks left.

Any help or advise will greatly help - or anybody moved or had simliar situations?

thanks Wendy xx

Alabasterlyn

27-07-10, 15:41

There are a lot of us on here that have agoraphobia, myself included, so I'm sure you will get other responses soon too. From the sound of it you are doing very well with the graded exposure already, which is great :D

The things that come to my mind about your moving are to try and make sure that when you travel you do so at a time of day that you find your anxiety is at it's lowest. I always find travelling in the dark much easier, I can do an hour as a passenger at night, but in the daytime probably only about 20mins. It would probably be a good idea to travel when the roads are not busy too so it will make the journey less stressful. Try and take as many props with you in the car, like a laptop or an iPod with things on it that you find relaxing so that if you do feel anxious you can distract yourself.

I moved house about 12yrs ago and due to some last minute hitches with the deal my other half and I were left homeless for 2wks, which for someone with agoraphobia has the potential to be a nightmare and all my things were packed up for moving. We spent 2wks living on someone's sofabed and I didn't even know this person and my other half was at work all day and I was on my own in this strange flat, yet I was fine. It really is surprising what we are able to do when we have no option but to do something :hugs:

PixieL

27-07-10, 15:54

Hi angel light, i am in the exact same position as you; agoraphobic and soon to be moving house in another county, an hour an a half drive away give or take. All i can suggest is you have a chat with your dr and mental health support team if you have one, mine were fantastic, my social worker will be coming with me on the day i move and my dr has provided me with some stronger medication for the move. As alabasterlyn suggested, try to travel at a time of day and on a day thats best for you, night time is always better as less people and cars around. Also as said take distraction things with you, such as an ipod or a handheld game console like a DS or PSP, also a bottle of water, paper bag and a hand held elctronic fan, i always find that helps, and poss a bar of choc or a packet of crisps in case you get the shakes. Good luck to you :) xx

diane07

27-07-10, 16:07

I moved about 8 weeks ago, i wouldn't have been able to do that journey two years ago but i just kept on doing it over and over again and now it doesn't bother me in the slightest, my ipod has got me over these hurdles.

The problem we have is we sit and analyse the situation, constantly questioning ourselves..........can i do it............what if i panic.........what if this..........what if that.

We are already putting negative thoughts in our heads, try thinking it in a different way, like how great will it be for you to have all that support around you.

I got over my fear of journeys by breaking the journey down, if it was an hour i would break it down to 20 minute stages, each stage i got to i felt like i had accomplished something good.

The thought is usually worse than the deed.

I wish you well on your move.

di x

Vixxy

27-07-10, 16:38

Hi im in a similar position. I can only go so far away from my home before I start to get really dizzy etc with anxiety.
I need to move to my new home about an hour away too. Seems there are a few of us in this position. Maybe we can all give each other support?

PixieL

27-07-10, 18:18

Thats a great idea vixxy, if any of you want to do that count me in, im worried about the move and as diane07 said we over think things, im sure we could all use each others support.

Vixxy

27-07-10, 21:38

Okies lets do it!!
Do you have a date that you have to move in by?
Also whats the exact distance from where you are now, to the new house?
Do you drive?

Vixxy

27-07-10, 21:42

Do you have a date that you have to move in by?
No
Also whats the exact distance from where you are now, to the new house?
37.8 miles 48 minutes if I take the M3 (EEEEK!)
or
43.4 miles 1 hr 24 minutes if I go on the A/B roads
Do you drive?
Yes

diane07

27-07-10, 21:49

vix,

is it you that will be driving there? or is someone else doing it.

di x

mumble

27-07-10, 22:03

When I was at my worst, I realised I could no longer cope on my own, so my father arranged a day to drive me all the way from Surrey down to Bournemouth to my fiance's. I managed it with a combination of distraction by talking to him, and also taking half an ativan.

PixieL

27-07-10, 22:24

ok vixxy :)
well:
Do you have a date that you have to move in by?
No not yet but i think it will be around the end of aug
Also whats the exact distance from where you are now, to the new house?
Its about 1 hour 30 mins by car, not sure in miles
Do you drive?
No, my social worker is driving me

sb001f8994

27-07-10, 22:28

When I was at the worst point of agoraphobia, even finding it difficult to go to my mums just a few doors away, I put our house up for sale on a whim. It sold after the first veiwing, cue panic stations! We quickly found a house that needed gutting and we had to move into my mums. I thought it would be a nightmare but surprisingly it wasnt and it was more like a holiday! When the dreaded day arrived (17 weeks later) to move into the new house I had made a plan. My brother had videoed the journey, which luckily wasnt too far, so I could familiarise myself with it. I got up at 5.30 as I knew the roads would be empty and had to leave as soon as I was dressed or less I would have chickened out!
I did it!!!
I can honestly say it was the best move Ive ever made. Since being here Ive managed to get out a bit more and my world is bigger and better than it was in my old place. Look at this move as a new begining, like I did.
Take care and good luck.

angel light

28-07-10, 08:53

Hi all wow was amazed to have such helpful replies and support - thankyou all!

My date is pencilled in for 10th Sept my therapist is going to drive me I think its about 60 odd miles approx and about an hour and 15 mins.

I think it is a brilliant idea to support each other to those of us who are moving and continue this thread didnt realise there were others in my situation.Anyone is welcome to pm me anytime keep me posted everyone how you are and the preparations and if anybody else has any experiences and good ideas keep them coming in!

love Wendy xx

Vixxy

28-07-10, 09:12

Diane07 - Yes Im planning on driving myself.

Seems weve all got a simialar distance to go then. Id like to be there by the end of August too, so I can aim to do it at the same time as you guys^^

diane07

28-07-10, 09:35

Well done you vixxy.

I'll support you all through this, it really won't be anything like you think it will.

There are two major things that helped me overcome the fear of travelling far, one was my ipod (no good to you vix as you're driving) and the other was i have a fellow agoraphobic, who i knew was on standby should i need to call her and there were many times that i did call her, you too can pull up anytime you need to vix to make a call...............That thought of comfort got me through every single journey, so much so i can do train journeys now, without the need to have to call her anymore.

Vix, as you're driving what about taking a relaxation cd to put in the car?

It will be so nice for you all when you have all done the move, and share your different experiences in your new homes.

di xx

angel light

28-07-10, 14:54

Keep up this fantastic positive thread all! to new beginnings eh!

Wendy xx

PixieL

29-07-10, 04:08

:) this is great, so glad we are not alone lol. Had news on my move today, looks like mine will be the end of aug :) lets update each other on everything :)
Thank you to you Diane07 for giving us your support :) and angel light for starting this off :) and to vixxy and everyone else whos posting, i've been so worried lol, im feeling much better about the whole thing now :) x

Chem

29-07-10, 04:17

I can only agree with what everyone else has said. Distraction and breaking it down into small stages. Talking books are great if you are the passenger. Since you are going to your parents, you probably know much of the route, so try to visualise it if you can. Break it into sections (from here to the motorway... from the motorway to the shopping centre at....) using whatever landmarks you know.

You can use the google satellite maps to look places up too to familiarise yourself before you set off. Good luck for the journey and the future!

angel light

29-07-10, 09:18

Thanks to everyone for such wonderful support, ive invested in a travel dvd player which I do find helps it stops me focusing on where I am and looking out of the window which doesnt help me.I am with a trusted person being a passenger and practising part of the route id say ive done about half hour so far im trying to do it a couple of times a week in the build up to the day.

If you guys are going the end of august I will be a little behind you on the 10th sept but will be able to hear all your wonderful news.

A tip my therapist gave to me which would be helpful is to have people whom you love and trust to be at the other end waiting for you- so you are actually going towards something when travelling, you could always text or call them on route say where you are and get them to put the kettle on!

Also guys watch the stress levels with the moving preparation it can be chaotic im returning to the basics watching my sleep eating and doing a relaxation cd daily.

Wendy xx

Vixxy

29-07-10, 15:08

Thanks for the great advice Diane and everyone else.
Im going to burn off the relaxation app i use on my ipod onto a cd and put it in the car.
Is anyone going to do some exposure on this? Like going a certain distance and coming back?

PixieL

29-07-10, 20:09

I used to have a DVD in car player, might be time to get another before the move. I'll have my DS and PSP to hand as getting into games is a great distraction, also taking my laptop and i had the idea of taking my video cam and camera, so i can video my trip up there and that way i dont have to look at the world passing the car windows, but watch it like its a movie if that makes sense.

angel light

30-07-10, 08:56

Hi all I am doing abit of exposure work im practising part of the route about twice a week id say its only about a quarter of the way but im trying xx

Vixxy

30-07-10, 09:38

I was supposed to be practising going on the motorway, but Ive been feeling so crap this past 2 weeks Ive only done it once. Really hoping I can feel better and start getting on with it! Got a docs app next week, so if its not cleared up by then i hope she can help me XD

PixieL

11-08-10, 15:58

Hi guys, just a quick heads up, got my moving date today. its the 23rd so not to long away lol. It was a big surprise to us when we got the phone call today, we were thinking the end of Aug! lol, anyway hope all goes well with your moves. I'll let you know how mine goes. xxxxx

diane07

11-08-10, 16:08

Aww best of luck pixie

you'll be absolutely fine

di xx

Vixxy

12-08-10, 17:53

Good luck!
im actually going to go to my house tomorrow! Its my husbands birthday and I thought I would suprise him. This is going to be super super hard, but Im determined to do it!!!
Wish me luck, ill let you know how I do :D

Vixxy

13-08-10, 18:26

I did it!!! I made it up to the house! This was just a visit, but I wanted to do that before I actually moved here!
Wooooo!
How are you guys doing?

diane07

13-08-10, 18:28

oh wow!

well done you vix

you must be feeling really chuffed with yourself.

di xx

Vixxy

13-08-10, 21:47

I feel over the moon with happiness. Im actually planning to move in the next few weeks now. :)

diane07

14-08-10, 09:38

That is fabulous,

The thought is most often worse than the deed, thinking about things, we build stuff up in our head of how we think its going to be, and its never as bad once you do it.

So well done vix, you have every right to feel proud:yahoo:

PixieL

14-08-10, 16:07

Well done Vix :D Thats great.
not long till im off now, a week and a bit. Im nervous but excited.

Vixxy

15-08-10, 14:05

Make sure you stay excited! Thats the key part. we always assume anxiety is just fear, when sometimes its actually happy anxiety. Does that make sense?
Im probably going to do the actual move in a few weeks myself. So might even be the same day as you now!

PixieL

18-08-10, 17:37

Hi all, just wanted to post this :), i had my final meeting with my CEO today, a lovely lady i saw once a week. She got quite emotional as did i lol, we both got along really well. I gave her a NMP teddy as a goodbye gift, she was overcome and very happy :). I just wanted to post this because im sure its hard for all of us to say goodbye to friends, support workers and family when we move, but its not forever :). I'll still be phoning her and she me. She may be coming with me on the day i move (monday) or someone else from her office, if any of you can do that to its always a good idea. I'll keep you updated, i wont have internet for a while when i move but as soon as its up ill tell you all how it went. Take care and good luck! :D This will most likely be my last post on NMP till after the move. xxxxx