Changing thought processes

[QueenOfHearts]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and have been reading around the forum. There is a lot of very good advice here and i'm wondering whether anyone could give me some advice?

Gosh its hard to know how far back to go. I came off antidepressants last summer after being on them for 5 years (i'm 21 now). I found the withdrawl terrible and it took me more than a year to finally come off them, but i had to because the side effects i was having made me unable to study at university and i felt the depression had lifted. I was fine for about 6 weeks until (i guess) the drugs finally worked their way out of my system. Then BANG i was hit with anxiety.

I've had a lot of problems in the last few months but it isn't that my problems are worse than anyone elses (despite people at uni thinking thats what i think) its just that i don't have the same coping mechanisms as other people. I used to be a fairly independant and confident person, but recently i've become a nervous wreck.

At the moment i'm waiting for my boyfriend to phone me. We always talk around this time of day (he's at uni in Sheffield and i'm in Southampton). And he hasn't phoned. Why not? Is he hurt? Is he out with friends? Why hasn't he at least texted me? Why won't he answer his phone? I'm extremely oversensitive and react to things i would have once brushed off (like critism) by crying and becoming very anxious. I think the thing with my boyfriend is exacerbated by the fact that he is meant to be coming to live with me later this year and last week said he had second thoughts. He says he was just worried and does want to come after all, but i can't believe that. He's just going to let me down and i'll be alone. I'm already alone here and i don't feel like i have many friends because they're so fed up of me being down.

I know my thought processes are over the top, and that i overeact to things. I just don't know how to make it stop. I am currently having cognitive behavioural therapy but she's not there in the morning when i wake and at night when i can't sleep.

I'm just scared i don't know what to do.

Sorry for such a long post.

[wendy]

Hi
Sorry to hear how you are feeling, I am feeling very similiar myself so you are not alone,
If you need to talk about it please feel free to send me a personal message
Wendy

[QueenOfHearts]

Well he just texted me to say he's in the pub and will phone when he gets home, which won't be until late.

Now i have new problems going through my head. I want to ask him if he still wants to come and live with me, but i keep asking him that everyday and he says yes. It's only once he says he wasn't sure. What happens if he drops me now he is starting to go out and socialise more? At the beginning of term he felt very isolated and didn't know many people. I'm glad he is coming out of his shell but what if he doesn't want to live with me anymore? I know he loves me. I love him very much. I just feel so alone here and so isolated. Him coming to uni was one of things keeping me going.

[wendy]

Try to look forward to the future and stay positive, If you both love each other then take that as re-assurance
I know its hard when then thoughts / doubts go through our minds it can be hard not to dwell on them
I am sorry you feel alone at Uni, What course are you doing?

[Piglet]

Something I do now which was Pips suggestion, is to imagine a lollipop lady's stop sign when you are thinking things that you know aren't making you feel good.

It took awhile for me to this with any success but it actually does stop me in my tracks now. If am daydreaming in a negative way I just say STOP and I change my thoughts to something else and I have to say this has begun to have a really positive effect on my general outlook on life.

A big welcome to the site to you.

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Dusty]

Piglet: I love the Lollypop idea. My OT suggested pinging an elastic band against your wrist while shouting stop but your sounds more realistic and less painful!

Sarky: I know what it's like when you haven't got your "Rock" with you, and I also find the night the worse time. I rand my hubby up at 1pm last night in floods of tears because I couldn't sleep. He was on business in Ipswich and I am four hours away in the Welsh Valleys. It is so hard when you love them and they are not there for you physically.

But, love, please remember you are not alone here. We have all been at the end of our wits at some time or other and we all know what it's like to be anxious and panicky.

Another thing - I also am having an awful time with my thought processes. I posted the notes from my Anxiety Management Course on here a couple of days ago. I know the theory but can I put it into practice? It is hard and we'll both have to keep going one day at a time.

A wise friend of mine once said - planning is fine, it's projecting that gives us the problems. In other words - live for today and try not to think about what is going to happen. The one thought thing I find that works is distraction: a brand new DVD, reading the board here, a good book - anything to keep your mind off your anxiety.

Take care, it has got better for me before and I'm sure it will get better for you.

Dusty xx

PMT - Proof that God must be a man.

[jackie]

sarky

i no it is hard fro you but i found that the more i bothered my loved ones they did get annoyed. so i was thinking because we all go through similar things, just simply use us to vent your frustraions, fears, phobias etc on. then leave your family and friends with a more relaxed you. i no it is hard and i do not suggest you be something you are not, i just think if you can use us to show your deepest fears then those you love and are near will be needed less for the job of listening.

remember that for those who have never gone through anxiety etc, it is really a hard one to grasp so dont be too harsh on either them or yourself.

do you read books on your thinking. i never stop reccomending claire weekes books on nervous disorders, as reading it will not only help you but may help others to see what you are going through.

if you need any help pm me anytime
take care
jackie

ps you are right, it is all about changing our thinking, and there are many in this site who have managed to do that. just read the success stories to see how far people have come. that too can be me and you
if you only care to dream, which i no that is what you want

[Tomimo]

I am like you and do overreact to things. I know how difficult it can be to always act in a way that is logical to others.

It does get better though, stick with the CBT :)

Annie x x

[Meg]

As well as doing your set CBT homework try to apply the theory to each situation you know you are overreacting to.

THink of each extreme response and then the reasonable rational ones that are between each extreme and is most plausible and keep your thoughts most focussed on that reasoning.

It is not easy and certainly practice is key for it to work

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?