yvon magrait
28-07-10, 15:07
hello,
my name is yvon, im 33 years old and since i was 18 i suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, phobia.
with ups and downs, i've managed to finish university, to have nice, exciting job today, but i deal with constant stress, fear, i cant sustain a relationship, i barely go out with friends and last year was a huge nightmare because somehow, with some big professional achievements came terrible personal feeling of dissappointment, depression, suicidal thoughts even.
i just cant live life like this. im on therapy for 3 years now, i've tackled many issues, im on klonopin, 0.5mg daily, but it seems to me i cant move on.
i cat live on my own, i cant travel... i feel so isolated, so different and sooo tired of living this way.
the main reason im writing here today is that i suppose to travel in two days to england, its a 3-hours flight from where i am and im terrified. i have constant nausea for weeks now, anxiety over the roof, terrible dark scenarios about what might happen to me once i maybe come to england (nausea, vomiting, fainting, going crazy, heart attack... everything you can imagine), im terrified i might get so bad i wont be able to return home, i might go crazy in the plane... sometimes i feel like i cant swallow because my throat is tightened...
it would meant a WORLD to me to know there is someone i can talk to while im there. im suppose to be there only for seven days but from my perspective it seems like whole lifetime. im afraid ill die, go crazy, go so sick i cant get out of bed... im really scared.
on the other hand, i know i must travel, because i cant live like this and i must somehow start dealing with this problem. it might ruin my personal life, my career, my mind...
any kind of advice, help, support, kind word would be highly appreciated.
thanks for finding time to read this.
hope we will all be better one day, living normal, fullfilled and calm life.
best to all.
my name is yvon, im 33 years old and since i was 18 i suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, phobia.
with ups and downs, i've managed to finish university, to have nice, exciting job today, but i deal with constant stress, fear, i cant sustain a relationship, i barely go out with friends and last year was a huge nightmare because somehow, with some big professional achievements came terrible personal feeling of dissappointment, depression, suicidal thoughts even.
i just cant live life like this. im on therapy for 3 years now, i've tackled many issues, im on klonopin, 0.5mg daily, but it seems to me i cant move on.
i cat live on my own, i cant travel... i feel so isolated, so different and sooo tired of living this way.
the main reason im writing here today is that i suppose to travel in two days to england, its a 3-hours flight from where i am and im terrified. i have constant nausea for weeks now, anxiety over the roof, terrible dark scenarios about what might happen to me once i maybe come to england (nausea, vomiting, fainting, going crazy, heart attack... everything you can imagine), im terrified i might get so bad i wont be able to return home, i might go crazy in the plane... sometimes i feel like i cant swallow because my throat is tightened...
it would meant a WORLD to me to know there is someone i can talk to while im there. im suppose to be there only for seven days but from my perspective it seems like whole lifetime. im afraid ill die, go crazy, go so sick i cant get out of bed... im really scared.
on the other hand, i know i must travel, because i cant live like this and i must somehow start dealing with this problem. it might ruin my personal life, my career, my mind...
any kind of advice, help, support, kind word would be highly appreciated.
thanks for finding time to read this.
hope we will all be better one day, living normal, fullfilled and calm life.
best to all.