Blondie23
29-07-10, 13:31
Hi all, First of all i really should introduce myself, im Jen i am 23 years old from bromley,Kent.
I have always struggled with anxiety and have a few problems which i will explain later on, so when i spotted this website i was so happy that there is a place where i can just be myself and talk to people who ACTUALLY understand what i go through.
Right so my phobias and problems.....My main phobia is called phagaphobia i beleive, its a fear of choking....It first started as a kid, i used to be TERRIFIED of being sick or others being sick around me (emetaphobia or something like that) i would avoid everything theme parks, foods that made me feel sick, i even used to worry about eating meals in packets/frozen/tins etc incase it gave me food poisoning, if someone i knew had a cold or felt sick i would run away and even worse if someone i knew WAS sick i would start shaking, sweating and couldnt go near them for weeks afterwards......it was awful....how that stands at the moment??? well i now go to theme parks, funfairs, i can be in a room if someone is sick, i dont watch lol but i no longer have to put my fingers in my ears, if someone is sick sometimes i even find it funny, i can handle feeling sick myself now too, its not nice but i can handle it.....so for anyone who has this phobia and would ever like to talk to me i would quite happy pass on my own experiances and advice :)
Right getting back to it, it started then, i also have always be very self consious because i have always had bad teeth and one day back in school, we were asked to give a presentation, well this REALLY Made me feel sick and back then that wasnt good, i was sweating not only becausei was scared of being sick but also because i was thinking what if they laugh at me? what if they laugh at my teeth etc? i got SO anxious, this was the first time i had experiance real anxiety.
I run out of the classroom and the school and never went back, since then my anxiety and confidence hit an all time low, my throat was always dry and when i did it a bit went down the wrong way and it panicked me so much that from then on i was scared to have anything else.
With all the pressure of not being in school,feeling like a complete idiot for running out of class and this sudden horrible feeling of anxiety i was getting did nothing for my confidence now i was panicking about food, you can imagine how it didnt get any better.
I was so young i didnt know what was wrong with me, i just cried and cried all the time, i used to have to force feed myself, i couldnt eat if anyone was about or if the telly was on i used to block my ears when i swallowed food so no noise would make me jump that could make me choke.
In the end i wasnt eating a thing, i would have a bite of a bannana and a couple of chocolate buttons and that would be it for the whole day, i would just sit in my room, in the dark with mess up to the ceiling crying and wasting away.
My mum then decided it was time to get me to the doctors, they prescribed me calshakes which is a milkshake meal...and also put me on lusteral (i think its spelt like that) that was awful, i remember being so bombed out i didnt even feel myself, it didnt help me with food and i remember being in the bath once and couldnt even move, i came off of that straight away.
I was also booked with a counciler, i used to see them once a week, to just chat about everything, they couldnt really come up with a hidden "problem" other the fact that i had low self asteem , i used to have to do some therapy at home (which i can explain if anyone wishes to email me about this) which was soooooo helpful, finally i began to pick up slowly, this was increasing my confidence which was brilliant.
I then decided to try another type of medication, i was prescribed prozac, at first i was a bit like oooooh prozac? might be a bit too much at 14 years old, but i tried it and i am so glad i did.....with that, therapy i did at home and slowly building up confidence with other things that again i can explain if anyone needs me too, i have come SUCH a long way.
I can now eat full size normal meals, and eat during the day, breakfast , lunch, crisps, sweets you name it lol.....downside is i cant eat at the table i have to eat in bed late at night when everyone is asleep, and i cant eat out at all....so if anyone has any simular phobias and HAS got over eating out etc i would so love to talk to you.
But from then till now i am so proud of myself :)))))))) i never thought in a million years that life would have got so much better!!!!!
When i was going through all that i stayed indoors for about 3 years and didnt do a thing, when i did eventually go out, i got panic attacks as i felt like i didnt belong out there, i felt alien, and it was just weird.
My mum suffers with agrophobia so i have always panicked incase i get it which made things worse, but then i met my fiance and he stood by me and walked with me everyday to places until i was "used" to it, then we started to drive to places, its taking a while but im getting there slowly....im now a member of a gym, we go about 4 times a week, we shop, we go to funfairs etc, i still cant go on holiday (obviously coz i would starve all week lol) but i am determind to go one day....i cant get in the car and go to the coast which again i would love....so this is still a problem at the moment, so if anyone does have anything like this and would be able to offer some advice on how they got over it i would again be over the moon to talk to you......
Anyway i will stop rambling on now i could go on forever, but thats the basic line of it.....i do also have a dental phobia if anyone else needs to talk about that too lol.
i really hope that i can find some people that might be able to help me in some areas, and i really hope that i can help some others too!!!
xxx:)xxx
I have always struggled with anxiety and have a few problems which i will explain later on, so when i spotted this website i was so happy that there is a place where i can just be myself and talk to people who ACTUALLY understand what i go through.
Right so my phobias and problems.....My main phobia is called phagaphobia i beleive, its a fear of choking....It first started as a kid, i used to be TERRIFIED of being sick or others being sick around me (emetaphobia or something like that) i would avoid everything theme parks, foods that made me feel sick, i even used to worry about eating meals in packets/frozen/tins etc incase it gave me food poisoning, if someone i knew had a cold or felt sick i would run away and even worse if someone i knew WAS sick i would start shaking, sweating and couldnt go near them for weeks afterwards......it was awful....how that stands at the moment??? well i now go to theme parks, funfairs, i can be in a room if someone is sick, i dont watch lol but i no longer have to put my fingers in my ears, if someone is sick sometimes i even find it funny, i can handle feeling sick myself now too, its not nice but i can handle it.....so for anyone who has this phobia and would ever like to talk to me i would quite happy pass on my own experiances and advice :)
Right getting back to it, it started then, i also have always be very self consious because i have always had bad teeth and one day back in school, we were asked to give a presentation, well this REALLY Made me feel sick and back then that wasnt good, i was sweating not only becausei was scared of being sick but also because i was thinking what if they laugh at me? what if they laugh at my teeth etc? i got SO anxious, this was the first time i had experiance real anxiety.
I run out of the classroom and the school and never went back, since then my anxiety and confidence hit an all time low, my throat was always dry and when i did it a bit went down the wrong way and it panicked me so much that from then on i was scared to have anything else.
With all the pressure of not being in school,feeling like a complete idiot for running out of class and this sudden horrible feeling of anxiety i was getting did nothing for my confidence now i was panicking about food, you can imagine how it didnt get any better.
I was so young i didnt know what was wrong with me, i just cried and cried all the time, i used to have to force feed myself, i couldnt eat if anyone was about or if the telly was on i used to block my ears when i swallowed food so no noise would make me jump that could make me choke.
In the end i wasnt eating a thing, i would have a bite of a bannana and a couple of chocolate buttons and that would be it for the whole day, i would just sit in my room, in the dark with mess up to the ceiling crying and wasting away.
My mum then decided it was time to get me to the doctors, they prescribed me calshakes which is a milkshake meal...and also put me on lusteral (i think its spelt like that) that was awful, i remember being so bombed out i didnt even feel myself, it didnt help me with food and i remember being in the bath once and couldnt even move, i came off of that straight away.
I was also booked with a counciler, i used to see them once a week, to just chat about everything, they couldnt really come up with a hidden "problem" other the fact that i had low self asteem , i used to have to do some therapy at home (which i can explain if anyone wishes to email me about this) which was soooooo helpful, finally i began to pick up slowly, this was increasing my confidence which was brilliant.
I then decided to try another type of medication, i was prescribed prozac, at first i was a bit like oooooh prozac? might be a bit too much at 14 years old, but i tried it and i am so glad i did.....with that, therapy i did at home and slowly building up confidence with other things that again i can explain if anyone needs me too, i have come SUCH a long way.
I can now eat full size normal meals, and eat during the day, breakfast , lunch, crisps, sweets you name it lol.....downside is i cant eat at the table i have to eat in bed late at night when everyone is asleep, and i cant eat out at all....so if anyone has any simular phobias and HAS got over eating out etc i would so love to talk to you.
But from then till now i am so proud of myself :)))))))) i never thought in a million years that life would have got so much better!!!!!
When i was going through all that i stayed indoors for about 3 years and didnt do a thing, when i did eventually go out, i got panic attacks as i felt like i didnt belong out there, i felt alien, and it was just weird.
My mum suffers with agrophobia so i have always panicked incase i get it which made things worse, but then i met my fiance and he stood by me and walked with me everyday to places until i was "used" to it, then we started to drive to places, its taking a while but im getting there slowly....im now a member of a gym, we go about 4 times a week, we shop, we go to funfairs etc, i still cant go on holiday (obviously coz i would starve all week lol) but i am determind to go one day....i cant get in the car and go to the coast which again i would love....so this is still a problem at the moment, so if anyone does have anything like this and would be able to offer some advice on how they got over it i would again be over the moon to talk to you......
Anyway i will stop rambling on now i could go on forever, but thats the basic line of it.....i do also have a dental phobia if anyone else needs to talk about that too lol.
i really hope that i can find some people that might be able to help me in some areas, and i really hope that i can help some others too!!!
xxx:)xxx