amyamy2010
30-07-10, 23:55
i have had anxiety and a big fear of going mad or having something else wrong with me and i have seen a phychologyst and phychiastrist but i decided not to anymore and get on with my life. I have been doing alright but theres this one very very weird thought that repeats in my head daily and i wonder if this could be delusions or could become that way. This thought is very hard to say out loud because i might sound mad but i think this thought came into my head because of the fear of losing my mum/nothing being real. okay its hard to explain its basically of- be being plugged in or stuck in a dreamword and having to kill myself/someone to get out of it but its madness and sometimes the thoughts are verbal and im scared that something could be controlling me beyond this (something thats not infront of me). and i herd that alot of people with graniouse delusions think like that...what is it even feel like for someone who thinks someone is controlling their thoughts because mine seem out of control its a bit more complex but i want to get this out my head and i worry if its true...do i sound mad? could anxiety/depression lead to phychosis? any answers would be so great because i kept this to myself for months!! i hope i dont become illand it ruins my life because i love my family...i want to start college without these weird thoughts taking over and this doubt of life and developing a mental illness. it just kind of takes over my life. its been there a few months. and my mum mentioned a freind that had phychotic depression and she said she 'done it because she is a profit and to save the world' does that sound abit like me? sorry this is long!:shrug: