View Full Version : hi all im a newbie
hi all.. my name is richard and i currently live in doncaster s.yorks
Ive been suffering from panic and anxiety for most of my adult life im now 40 and these things started when i was 20.
im on fluoxatine and proponolol and the occassional diazapam altho i try my damndest to avoid these but i find comfort in carrying them.
i suffer ibs which is undoubtably caused by my anxiety and this is another major obstacle to me living a normal active lifestyle.i refuse to go abroad on holidays because at least in britain i know the language of my hospitals and stuff i think you get what i mean.. i just dont like the idea of being in a foreign country and having non english srroundings and people....england is my comfort zone.
i make excuses not to go places to see family friends because i make myself ill before hand even tho i love them dearly.. its the travelling and what ifs that come onto my mind and im sure many of you feel that way too.
i am also very ashamed and embarressed by my ilness.. i dont know why i feel that way but i feel i have to lie rather than say im suffering my anxiety to people when i arrange things and cancel.
anyway im so glad i found this place.. on the one hand im glad i have found other people with similar situations to my own... on the other hand i feel so bad for all of you because i dont want anyone feeling like i do and i know you do.
i found this site a while ago and i read it every now and then and it does help me.. i hope it helps you too its http://www.anxietynetwork.com/pdfear.html
basically it explains why our worst fears wont happen and it makes a lot of sense
hope to chat to many of you soon and i wish every single person here the best
regards
richard
Hi feasible
We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.
Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.
Hi Richard. Thanks for the link, I just had a look at the anxiety website you recommended. Actually... it helped alot. Thank you so much. :hugs:
Take Care of You
Deb x
Hi Richard
I too am a newbie, I only joined a couple of days ago. I have the exact same problem as you. My family has to come and visit me and even then I sometimes get panicky if there are too many people in the house.
The only difference is I no longer feel guilty about my illness, like you it started in my 20's and I am now 50. Over the last few years I think I have come to terms with it..........this is me and if people don't like it then that is their problem.
My mum died from cancer a few years back and she had always been my rock. Before she died she told me that I had an illness and I should never feel guilty for that, as she explained a MS sufferer or a cancer sufferer didn't feel guilty that they were ill they just felt sad, angry or unlucky. I still feel pangs of guilt when I want to go and do something with my sons but can't do it, but I then have a good talking to myself and tell myself that beating up myself isn't going to change anything and only make me more anxious.
Life is a whole lot better now as I no longer spend days worrying about what excuse or lie I am going to give for not going somewhere. I just say sorry I can't do that. It's amazing how people just go "oh ok". It also helps with the IBS when you aren't putting yourself under so much stress.
Carol x
Hi Richard. Thanks for the link, I just had a look at the anxiety website you recommended. Actually... it helped alot. Thank you so much. :hugs:
Take Care of You
Deb x
Im pleased it helped you as it helped me.. x
Hi Richard
I too am a newbie, I only joined a couple of days ago. I have the exact same problem as you. My family has to come and visit me and even then I sometimes get panicky if there are too many people in the house.
The only difference is I no longer feel guilty about my illness, like you it started in my 20's and I am now 50. Over the last few years I think I have come to terms with it..........this is me and if people don't like it then that is their problem.
My mum died from cancer a few years back and she had always been my rock. Before she died she told me that I had an illness and I should never feel guilty for that, as she explained a MS sufferer or a cancer sufferer didn't feel guilty that they were ill they just felt sad, angry or unlucky. I still feel pangs of guilt when I want to go and do something with my sons but can't do it, but I then have a good talking to myself and tell myself that beating up myself isn't going to change anything and only make me more anxious.
Life is a whole lot better now as I no longer spend days worrying about what excuse or lie I am going to give for not going somewhere. I just say sorry I can't do that. It's amazing how people just go "oh ok". It also helps with the IBS when you aren't putting yourself under so much stress.
Carol x
Thank you for sharing that with me carol... i think im at the stage where i am thinking like what you say.... its me and if they dont like it then tough its there problem...im getting better at telling people... most of my close family totally understand,,,they know i have great days..which they consider there normal days like going into town shopping etc lol.. they also know i am likely to let them down before hand and accept that... your right it is an ilness and one with good days and bad. x
Hello Richard,
wow, I could have written your letter and signed my name to the bottom. Spooky that you live in my head too:D
I am currently suffering a set back myself, starting up on cipralex a week and a half ago. Going full dose this Monday, God help me!!!!
I live in Canada, my husband is from US. Although they all speak english, the idea of needing medical help in a different country is still scary, what with the insurance et al. We travel to Arizona once a year, and it is not good for me either. Disneyland or bust this year, and I think I will probably keel over before I get there. (Im not so bad once we are there, but these weeks leading up to it my very well pop my brain)
I too have suffered from this since my 20's, 36 now. Only recently have started to accept that I don't need to apologize or be embarrassed. (still do and still am, but trying to see it differently)
I am currently in the midst of being diagnosed with what all seem to think is IBS. Royal pain in the rump that one! But alas, not as bad as some of the things my brain diagnosis me with on a daily basis.
I will go off now to follow your link, thanks for that!!
Take care,
Marla
nice to meet you marla and i hope that link brings as much comfort to you as it did to me... always just a message away if you ever need a chat support just even to moan at lol...thats what i love about finding this place the amount of people that truly know how we are inside,,,its hard to find the right people to understand me yet i have just found the goldmine so to speak... i am sad that any of you do have these conditions tho.. i think you know what i mean we wouldnt wish this on anyone but are so grateful to speak to others that do have it.... i tend to ramble alot so will stop now a while lol...
tc
rich x
Hi feasible
We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.
Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.
i dont know if your the owner founder or support here but i just want to say thank you to someone for doing this place.. its a real benefit to me and so many others so from the bottom of my heart thank you x
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