Why do I feel like this?

[Clairalou]

Hi everyone I'm new to this forum :)
My names Claire and I'm 27 I suffer from really extream anxiety I suffered from post natal depression for 5 years and have recently in jan came off all my medication.
This anxiety is taking of my life if I'm not checking my pulse because i think I'm having a heart attack I'm sitting in the garden crying needing freshair as I feel I can't breathe! I'm addicted to dr 'google' and I have convinced myself that I'm going to die to the point I'm terrified to go to sleep I had to restrain myself at 3am the other day from writing my will!!!! I was wondering if anyone has ever felt like this and how they deal with it. I have an appointment with my gp in 2 weeks to ask for help.
Sorry for rambling on :(

Claire xxx

[cattia]

Hi there,
I am sorry that you are suffering so much at the moment. It sounds as though you are really stuggling to manage your anxiety and are feeling depressed as well. What made you come off your meds? Did they help? Would you think about going back on them? It sounds as though you are doing things like looking on google which actually compnd the problem and make you feel much worse. I say this as someone who has fallen into this trap so many times that I can't count. Have you had any kind of therapy? CBT is thought to be very helpful for anxiety. I have felt as bad as you are describing in the past and I know how scary it is. I have had good results in the past through getting on the right medication.It has not cured me but when things get really bad it gives me the boost I need to sort myself out and get better.

[andrea thompson]

hi claire

i can really sympathise with you! it is so hard! i have been exactly where you are and i am much better now so there isd light at the end of the tunnel.

i have suffered on and off with anxiety and depression for about twelve years. i was pregnant last year and came off seroxat - i was ok then i had a miscarraige and wow my hormones and anxiety and depression went hay wire!!! i have never been so ill. i was unable to sleep, crying because i couldnt face the feelings i was getting, i had some really irrational thoughts and just didnt know where to turn. i went to the drs several times and they said it was my hormones and it would settle down eventually. they didnt actually help me until i hit a point were i just couldnt function - i was a physical and emotional mess. i went onto citalopram and gradually got myself together - i was off work for months i am now back at work and coping well with what life throws at me... so you will be fine. oh and dont wait to see a dr. you need to see someone asap - phone for an emergency appointment.

you will get loads of help on here. private message me anytime - i am not on here a lot but i will always try to help if i can.

take care - you gonna be fine hon.

andrea x

[Clairalou]

Thanks so much for your reply! I came off my Meds because I thought I was getting better an for a while after I was doing so well it's only been the past few months that my anxiety has really taken hold again. I'm going to ask my gp about CBT an although I'm not aposed to going back on meds i would like to try and combat it without them as i am trying to lose weight an every anti depressant I've been on has made me gain weight.
I just wish I could stop these horrible feelings and thoughts. I don't want to live my life like this anymore.
I don't have many people around me to talk to my partner works alot and my family don't understand i also have alot going on at home i have 2 little boys 3 and 5 my oldest is undergoing the diagnosis process for autism and he is extreamly hard work.

Thanks again for your reply

Xx

[Natalie x]

Hi Clare. Sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time. I too used to check my pulse all the time and everyone would give me into trouble for doing it! I would try to do it discretely, convinced that my heart beat was either too fast or too slow. I eventually just said to myself 'I'm not going to do this today' and it worked. Before I knew it, I wasn't doing it again. I know it's hard but just try not to do it. I think that CBT would really help as it's a good way to get all your feelings and emotions out to someone who is trained and they can help get to the bottom of what's making you feel this way. Good luck and let us know how you get on x

[b4eve]

Good luck, hope you get therapy or failing that meds that help you. Just wanted to say that I have an autistic five year old son myself and he's fabulous but it is another layer of difficulty. I've suffered health anxiety pretty much all my life on and off, at the moment it's focussed on my boys rather than myself - this isn't a better option!:wacko: