Cancer phobia

[HelenLouise]

Hey! I've never posted in this section before, mainly because i didn't think I had health anxiety. I have OCD and emetophobia ( a fear of being sick) and I often thought my fears were down to that.
I'm not sure why but lately I've become obsessed with the fear that I have cancer - leukaemia to be exact!
It is taking over me at the moment!
I've been doing the obsessive symptom checking thing all week counting all the symptoms and analysing myself for them!
I seem to develop symptoms after I read about them!
Like for example - yesterday I read that leukaemia makes you have pain in your bones and surprise surprise I started to ache!
I've been obsessively feeling for lymph nodes which iv never looked for before so you can imagine when I find one I become convinced o have cancer and I'm going to die! However deep down I know that none of my lymph glands are swollen so they are fine!
I hate this sort of anxiety!
Over the pass month I've convinced myself I am
leukaemic, hypoglycaemic and diabetic! I was also convinced I was going to bleed to death from a Tongue piercing!
When I look at it that way it becomes easier to see that I am bringing this all on by stress and I feel so stupid but it feels so real at the time!
I'm so paranoid about leukaemia right now =[ I keep thinking I am going to die!
Have any of you ever had a cancer phobia or similar and convinced yourself you have symptoms? Xxx

[LisaLisa]

Absolutely!!

I went through bipolar disorder, lymphoma, hodgkins disease, diabetes, and a few other cancers until I settled on HIV. and here I am today , 6 years in total since HA started, well this bad at least ( i thought i had skin cancer when i was about 12, only really started to think that i dont when HA started big time)

I have symptoms that i look up and then i look up symptoms and then i start getting them too.

I worry about HIV and having passed it on to my daughter and other half all the time all day 24/7. I spend about three quarters of my day at the moment squeezing and rubbing a lump inside my cheek becuase i beleive it is HIV related and I cant stop touching it incase it has changed and i dont notice or incase i notice something different about it that is going to prove one way or the other.

I have been tested for HIV at my own request 5 times and they have all been negative but I have spent the last three years hunting the interenet for information that is going to pacifiy me that the tests work good. Sometimes It makes me feel slightly better coz i read somthing convincing but that starts to fade about a day later, maybe sooner. Whereas sometinmes i find soething that says the tests are not perfect and i freak out so much i feel black doom for days and feel physically sick and sweating in panic...its so awfull. But i just cant seem to astop looking. Its like the anxiety grows so bad when i dont constanly check......
however I know that its actuslly this that is keeping it going...the checking!!!

Im going to start trying again real hard for my daughter if nothing else.

I hope your okay hun, HA sucks really bad!!

Lisa
xxxx:hugs:

[montana]

Hi yes me too - i began to suffer from HA and more specifically Cancer phobia in 2007 - i was pg at the time and my husbands 9 year old son died from cancer and it just hit me out of nowehere - before i knew it i had massive physical symptons of stomach pains so bad in fact that i was admitted to hospital - all ok though. Since then i have convinced myself with the help of Dr Google that i have stomach cancer, lung cancer, throat cancer, brain tumor - you name it. i have spent £1000's in private tests all proving negative. When i am having one of these littel anxiety attacks i absolutely have symptons until i have the tests told its ok then i move onto the next 'illness'. I have now come to terms with the fact that i need help and i am now taking medication and counsellor sessions. i feel really cross at my self for being like this. I hope i can sort it out cos i want to get on with my life instead of worrying about when and how it will end! Hope you sort your issues out too x

[melanierocks]

hi i too have the dreaded cancer thing..a few yrs ago i was so bad couldnt think of anything else but cancer it ruled my life ..then i managed to overcome it ,but over the last 4yrs ive lost my partner of 13yrs my dad to throat cancer,my sister to throat cancer and my brother to lung and brain cancer..so u can imagine its started again currently its lung cancer ,my mind is on it all day till i go to sleep then as soon as i wake up..i do smoke and want to stop but at the moment im too stressed because of this cancer fear ,mad i know but i do want to stop...i really do feel for u xx :hugs:

[sophiethestar]

I'm just like this. When the mole on my arm changed I swore I had skin cancer. Every time I go to the Doctors for a check up I make sure I get my mole checked too each time to make sure it's okay. I could have sworn I had heart disease a few years ago due to stabbing chest pains and it turns out I was just drinking too much coffee. At the moment I have a swollen lymph node behind my ear (been like this for 3 months, no sign of infection and normal blood test) and after reading about Hodgkins Lymphoma online I've begun to itch and developed petechiae all over my arms, chest and legs. Maybe the petechiae was there before and I'm only noticing it now, I don't know but it's so worrying. I know how you feel. I just keep going back to the Doctor and it does reassure me. I know it's hard, but try focussing your mind on something else. Try not to be alone. When I'm alone I search myself for more symptoms, so just surround yourself with friends and family. We'll all get through this one day. xxx

[overwhelmed53]

im exactly the same....trust me you are not alone!! and yes i get every physical symptom....im not too good at mo so i findit hard even to mention the dreaded word! sometimes i just get soo tired!!! but i can tellyou frommy experience having suffered this for a long time....you do get times when it does go away...then wham it jst hits you again!!! for me stress...and alchohol are major triggers....this is a wonderful website full of geniune people who want to help so at least thats a positive....feel better..keep busy it does help...god blessx

[Lanesra]

This is also me to a T. So far I've thought I had colon, breast, stomach, kidney and pancreatic cancer and another huge fear is Leukaemia and now Lymphoma. I had a UTI which seemed to clear with antibiotics but either didn't clear or came back 13 days later and am now on antibiotics again. Also since I read on here that itching was a symptom of Lymphoma, I've had non-stop itching of my scalp and occasional tickles and itches on other parts of my body. Now both of my knee joints are really hurting and I have no idea why :-(
A symptom of both Leukaemia and Lymphoma is trouble getting rid of infections, plus I've been a lot more prone to colds too.
Bone/joint pain as stated above can be a symptom of Leukaemia.
All of these symptoms can be down to anxiety but I feel I need to go docs again. Last time I was there (before itching and joint pain), I told him I was worried about my immune system. He said there was nothing to worry about as I'd had a blood test 2 years ago and results came back fine. I know both L & L have effects on the body which can show up on blood tests and guessing then my white cell count was fine but surely that can change in 2 years?

[Trying to]

What is the difference between health anxiety and cancer phobia. I have anxiety and depression, PTSD. I also worry about my health getting the big c. I have convinced myself that I have colon c, testicle c, bone c, brain c, HIV. Do I feed my anxiety and go to the dr. Ever time I have a pain, or ignore the pains and then I think by waiting to go I think the c is spreading..