flump
05-08-10, 10:54
Hello,
I am in my forties and retired from work about ten years ago due to Major Depressive Disorder with anxiety and OCD thrown in for good measure!
The cause - a sh*tty childhood in short ,as per all too many folks I believe.
Parents seperated after only 6 weeks of marriage, I was brought up by my mother and grandmother with little contact with father. Then my mother died of cancer when I was 7 and I had to go away and live with severely authoritarian and abusive father and narcisstic, twisted grandmother. I was made to feel less than the lowest piece of dust and inherently "bad". In fear of my life sometimes, and always felt I was disgusting and that the whole situation was my fault.
Then add in major bullying at secondary school as I was fat, nervous and academic.
Several years of hell and I left home at the first chance I got.
Became a nurse for people with learning disabilities, which was a job I loved. Progressed well within my career for many years, lots of promotions, until I unfortunately crossed swords with a serial bully at a particular workplace. Suffice to say this mans actions brought back all the horrible experiences I had had as a child and my health broke down under the strain.
10 years on I have never recovered and take a cupboard full of pills, have had therapy till the cows come home and here I still am living in a prsion of my own making.
I am lucky to have a wonderful OH, but I know my illness has a very big effect on him as it limits so many things I can/can't do and I am often horrible with the stress from all the anxiety.
Glad to have come across this site, will be having a good read then might ask some questions too :)
I am in my forties and retired from work about ten years ago due to Major Depressive Disorder with anxiety and OCD thrown in for good measure!
The cause - a sh*tty childhood in short ,as per all too many folks I believe.
Parents seperated after only 6 weeks of marriage, I was brought up by my mother and grandmother with little contact with father. Then my mother died of cancer when I was 7 and I had to go away and live with severely authoritarian and abusive father and narcisstic, twisted grandmother. I was made to feel less than the lowest piece of dust and inherently "bad". In fear of my life sometimes, and always felt I was disgusting and that the whole situation was my fault.
Then add in major bullying at secondary school as I was fat, nervous and academic.
Several years of hell and I left home at the first chance I got.
Became a nurse for people with learning disabilities, which was a job I loved. Progressed well within my career for many years, lots of promotions, until I unfortunately crossed swords with a serial bully at a particular workplace. Suffice to say this mans actions brought back all the horrible experiences I had had as a child and my health broke down under the strain.
10 years on I have never recovered and take a cupboard full of pills, have had therapy till the cows come home and here I still am living in a prsion of my own making.
I am lucky to have a wonderful OH, but I know my illness has a very big effect on him as it limits so many things I can/can't do and I am often horrible with the stress from all the anxiety.
Glad to have come across this site, will be having a good read then might ask some questions too :)