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Ktaadn
30-07-03, 02:53
Hello. I have a curious situation and I'm looking for advice.

I'm not sure if I have any form of anxiety disorder. In the past, I've had serious problems dealing with social situations, although I've always felt comfortable on stage or in front of a classroom (I'm a teacher). I feel I've gotten much better dealing with social situations over the past year or so. I do have a tendency to get "choked up" when discussing anything remotely emotional in public.

Here's the problem. During the semester, I go to graduate school and teach college. Over the summer, I work with a small group of mentally ill children, developing a summer education program for them. The first summer I worked with the kids, I broke down crying during our "graduation ceremony" on the last day. I was extremely anxious two weeks before the last day, and often felt edgy. Breathing and sleeping were both difficult. Last summer, I began to feel the same anxiety and was able to sneak out quickly on the last day. This year, they are planning a graduation ceremony again and I'm already feeling anxious, even though it's weeks away. There are no rational reasons for this anxiety. I'm don't feel sad or depressed. I can't target any reason for my feelings -- it's as though the physical symptons appear before I even start thinking consciously about leaving.

I feel as though I'm going to stop breathing or start weeping, to the point where I can hardly breath or speak, on the last day. I'm not a weepy person otherwise. I'm familiar with meditation techniques and have done yoga for a few years. Breathing techniques seem to have only a slight effect.

Has anyone heard of anything like this? I'm pretty much locked into giving a speech on the last day this summer and I'm already terrified. Any advice would be welcome.

Doug

Kaz
30-07-03, 09:20
Hi Doug

I suspect that the emotions you are feeling leading up to the graduation are a form of anxiety but maybe not too difficult to explain. You've had a situation before where you felt you were breaking down and making a fool of yourself by crying and you are frightened it's gonna happen again. It possibly happened in the first place because working with mentally ill kids is emotionally draining and I bet you were proud of them all when they achieved what you hoped they would achieve with all your hard work (and theirs of course). I think I'd be pretty choked up too. Because you're a bloke, it's kinda ingrained that big boys don't cry so maybe it's made worse for you having to try and hold all this emotion back. My advice would be to talk to others before the ceremony, ask if they think they'll be a bit emotional on the day - I bet most if not all would say they will be. If you show it on the day, it will only go to prove what a caring bloke you are. Hey, if it's bothered anybody else before they would have said so by now and to be honest, they probably haven't even really noticed. Perhaps a little Rescue Remedy just before the speech will help you get through the worst part.

And if it helps, I'm not usually a weepy person either but I often get a surge of emotion and near tears watching or talking about anything emotional, especially where it concerns children, happy or sad.

Hope I've helped.



love'n'stuff
Karen

nomorepanic
30-07-03, 17:34
Doug

Can you please check your email address in your profile as your email is getting "bounced".

Nicola

Ktaadn
31-07-03, 04:26
Karen,

Much of what you state is accurate, particularly about dealing with children. According to the clinicians who work with these kids, my breaking down was actually very positive -- this is not a group of people who are used to people seriously caring about them. Despite all this, it's the curious anxiety that builds up before the event, and the feeling that I can't breath or speak that is most frightening, although I'm sure being raised to view such emotional outburst as a sign of weakness doesn't help matters.

Nicola -- sorry about the confusion. The email is now fixed.

Doug

Shelley
31-07-03, 16:00
HI Doug

The anxiety is just another form of worry - we worry subconsiously about things that at the back of our mind, try a good workout at the gym in the days leading up to the presentation - this helps eleviate any stress we have and at the same time takes our minds off stuff

x

Shell

nomorepanic
07-08-03, 14:57
ktaadn - please can you check your email address (in your profile) as I am getting messages returned saying that it is not valid.

Cheers

Nicola