paradox
05-08-10, 16:28
Over the past few weeks I've deteriorated quite badly. There's a lot of added stress in my life at the moment and it's really taken it's toll.
I've been in high anxiety states ... crying, stomach churning, diarrhoea, shaking, no concentration, pacing the floor and inevitably, suicidal thoughts.
I have Lorazepam for when things get really bad but I nearly always have to phone someone to get permission to take it. I'm so frightened of becoming addicted and I couldn't cope with that along with everything else.
I live alone, have no friends or family for support. I feel like I have nothing to live for. The anxiety is taking over and I don't have the will to fight any more. I'm sick of it. I can't eat, drink or sleep. I want it all to stop but I'm too much of a coward to just draw a line under things and end it. And despite the fact that family don't care enough to offer support, I think they care enough to be distressed if I ended things. If that makes sense.
I'd appreciate any advice. I think maybe I need to take my meds. I wish there was a button I could press to make anxiety just float away. And stay away. It's destroying me.
Please tell me something positive about life. I've lost sight of anything worth living for.
I've been in high anxiety states ... crying, stomach churning, diarrhoea, shaking, no concentration, pacing the floor and inevitably, suicidal thoughts.
I have Lorazepam for when things get really bad but I nearly always have to phone someone to get permission to take it. I'm so frightened of becoming addicted and I couldn't cope with that along with everything else.
I live alone, have no friends or family for support. I feel like I have nothing to live for. The anxiety is taking over and I don't have the will to fight any more. I'm sick of it. I can't eat, drink or sleep. I want it all to stop but I'm too much of a coward to just draw a line under things and end it. And despite the fact that family don't care enough to offer support, I think they care enough to be distressed if I ended things. If that makes sense.
I'd appreciate any advice. I think maybe I need to take my meds. I wish there was a button I could press to make anxiety just float away. And stay away. It's destroying me.
Please tell me something positive about life. I've lost sight of anything worth living for.