just need to know im not on my own

[zoe-22]

hi everyone
i have been on here for about 3 days now and find everyone is really understanding and alot of help.
i have suffered with health anxiety and panic attacks now for 5 months since my mam passed away with a massive heart attack she was only 65, i was with her when it happened and tryed my best but couldnt do anything to help her :weep:, ever since im convinced theres something wrong with my heart, ive had chest x-rays, ecgs, bloods all come back fine but just cant seem to shake the feelings away. every day since ive had chest pain, arms/legs numbness, constantly aware of my heart beat, they are just the worrying sensation i feel, i just feel that at an moment im going to drop down dead. im on trazodone and diazepam none of which i think are helping. to be honest i find it really hard to belive the doctors as a week before my mam die they told her it was her nerves so my faith has completely gone with them, i have ended up in A&E on many of occasion but as im only 22 they tell me im too young for there to be anything seriously wrong with me, plus ive hads all the tests, and i feel that my doctor just look at me like a pain, ive been to 4 docs all said the same the one even laughed at me which really help NOT! just dont know where to turn just so glad i came across this site :)

i have posted something simliar on here and had loads of support and would like to say thank you to those who replied you have helped me alot. just thought i would let other no what ive been going through maybe some will be able to relate
zoe x

[nomorepanic]

Hi zoe-22

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[diane07]

Hi zoe-22

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[calm]

you are definately not alone, we are always here for you, love tracey xxxx

[JT69]

Hi Zoe,

Bless you...my heart goes out to you...must of been pretty awful having to go through what you did with your mum. I am not suprised at all by the way you are re-acting...it is quite normal after experiencing what you did...I think I would be the same.

It is easy for us to say to you...you have had all the test and you are fine etc etc but it doesn't really help I guess. I think that you will get over this but it will take time hun...its still early days for you.

I went through a stage around 10 years ago thinking I had a brain tumour!! It caused me so much anxiety etc. I had constant headaches and dizziness and was totally convinced I was going to collapse and die...it was an awful time in my life. People then tried to convince me other-wise but I just wouldn't listen. I did get over it and started to live my life again but it took time.

I hope that you feel better soon and settle again. I am sending you a big hug:hugs:

Take care of yourself and remember you are not alone you have us now to share and talk to.

Jo.xx

[zoe-22]

thanks everyone it means so much to me to know i can talk to you all about it. all my family are finding it hard to cope so i cant really talk to them ive tried but due to the circumstances they dont want to hear it. i suppose it bad enough knowing that mams gone never mind what happened :weep: i felt so alone until i found this site thank you all for the support
zoe x

[daydreamer]

Hi Zoe, so sorry to hear of your loss. Your going through a tough time and its no wonder you are suffering with such anxiety. Im wondering if you have been offered any counselling from your doctors? If you havent, maybe its worth asking them about it because I think it could help you. There is also a good book by Claire Weekes called 'self helo for your nerves' which really explains all the physical manifestations of stress and anxiety which I also think might be good for you to read. Im glad you found this site there is lots of help and support here. X

[zoe-22]

hi daydreamer
i am currently on a waiting list for counselling have been for 6 weeks i wish the would hurry up tho, im willing to try anything. in the mean time i got everyone on here (unless they get fed up with me :) ) thank you for your advice
zoe x

[johnno]

zoe dont try to shake the feelings of hun :) its all part of grieving just allow your body to feel however it feels . *big hugs*

[zoe-22]

hi johnno
i know but i feel so wrong if that makes sense, i feel like im falling apart im only 22. thanks for your support
zoe x

[onceagain]

Oh Zoe of course you feel like you are falling apart... you have just lost your mum and if that is not enough to handle you are in shock at the fact that you believed that she was healthy and had to witness it and felt so helpless.

Your mind must be a jumble of what ifs right now and my god mums are such a massive part of us that you are going to feel all the things you are feeling.

I am soo sorry that you are caught in the usual trap of needing help, support and to talk and having to wait for the counselling. You are going to go through so many emotions and you are allowed them, you really are allowed them.

It doesn't pay to try and pull yourself together you need to ride through that grief, allow it to happen. do you have anyone close that you can talk things through with? whilst you are waiting, during and after the counselling? You will meet someone here who you can relate with and I would strongly suggest that when that happens that you take their support talk things through and ask that person to just sometimes be a sounding board, sometimes you will want no input or advice just an ear... x

x

[stacy1912]

Hi

I had to reply to your post as you are suffering the same feelings I had when my dad died of a heart attack aged 46 when i was 19. I like you believed my heart was going to give in too and i had every test the doctors could do and they found nothing. It is only natural to be VERY stressed along with all the other scary black feelings at this time. It does get easier, I am 16 years older and the grief changes over time and becomes something you can live with. Take it easy on yourself and try and eat well. Take care and you really are on a great forum for support. xxx

[beaniepudblue]

sending huge (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) hun im so sorry to hear about your mum

you are def NOT alone with your feelings. I really hope the counselling helps you hun. something has triggered my anxiety recently when someone i know passed away and it really is horrible. Take care hun, this website is fab thats why ive come back on theres so many lovely people and really helpful things to read, and everyone is here to support you and give advice xxxx

[johnno]

how you feeling lately zoe ? :)

[vrwhitewolf77]

Zoe,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have very bad health anxiety related to my heart as well, if you ever want to chat, please feel free. You are not alone!

[zoe-22]

hi johnno
im not to good today my heart rate has slowed down alot it now between 47-53 on resting and im worried about it went to see the doctor yesterday but he didnt help he told me it normal for an athlete to have a low heart rate but i anit no athlete, sorry to go on but im to afraid to go to sleep just in-case it stop, i have been having bad pain and weird sensation too in my chest. will this ever end :wacko: thank you for asking
zoe x