atki
06-08-10, 13:40
Hello
I will try and keep this as short as i can!
At the age of 13 I was put on 10mg seroxat due to a drop in confidence and constant anxiety caused by a move to a new area. At the age of 16 I suffered my first panic attack during my GCSE exams and decided i could not continue with the exams as i felt escape from the exam room could be be difficult
I went straight into employment and started to have sudden panic attacks. I would then worry about having a panic attack at work as my job at the time was a few bus journeys away from my home. I quit my job and got one nearer to home. I then started to experience attacks on holidays and other situations that involved moving away from home, just incase i had a panic attack, so i began to go out less socially until i was introduced seroxat. I went on to 30mg of seroxat at the age of 17 and felt fine day to day with the occassional panic attack. I went back to education, college and university were generally ok on a day to day basis.
My doctor then told me i had to come off seroxat as i had been on it too long, so i tried and the side effects were horrendous. After a couple of months being on and off seroxat i told my gp i would not be able to come off it and was then put on paroxetine liquid form, my panic attacks came back quite strongly and began to interrupt my life especially work. The last few years have been good and bad, currently getting worse.
My basic concerns are coaches, i hate them! cars when someone else is driving, going to a new area that i do not know, going out with only one friend because if i do panic and go home i feel like i have let them down as i will have ruined their night out etc, sitting in a room full of people incase i cannot escape easily, sitting in the middle row of the cinema, people staying at my house or me staying at someone elses house (other than family) the list goes on, i have panicked before about having my hair cut! basically any situation where i feel escape may be embarressing or difficult. I think this is because i worry about having a panic attack and because i worry so much i end up having them. I know people say no one knows you are panicking but i have to go to the loo and i am occassionally sick, so they do know!
I hate being a burden to my friends and family because i do go totally irrational buti cannot help it sometimes.
The last 5 years have been difficult with certain events causing me to panic which have then set me back I have a close family, husband and friends that do what they can but i feel stuck.
My anxiety is bad at the moment I work an hours train journey away from home and even though i have been here 2 years the last few weeks have been bad as i have cut my medication from 15mg of escitalopram to 5mg as we would like to start a family. I now have no idea whether the way i feel is down to the cut of my medication or it is my anxiety! I sometimes thing i maybe am just ill but then it makes me panic more because i hate being ill away from home!!
Work is very understanding and i have managed to sit the panic out so far but it is so difficult. I would love to go home when i panic but if i do i know the next day will be worse. I hate taking time off when i really am ill as i struggle to come back in the next day. I would like to go part time but cannot afford it!
Its all so difficult!
I will try and keep this as short as i can!
At the age of 13 I was put on 10mg seroxat due to a drop in confidence and constant anxiety caused by a move to a new area. At the age of 16 I suffered my first panic attack during my GCSE exams and decided i could not continue with the exams as i felt escape from the exam room could be be difficult
I went straight into employment and started to have sudden panic attacks. I would then worry about having a panic attack at work as my job at the time was a few bus journeys away from my home. I quit my job and got one nearer to home. I then started to experience attacks on holidays and other situations that involved moving away from home, just incase i had a panic attack, so i began to go out less socially until i was introduced seroxat. I went on to 30mg of seroxat at the age of 17 and felt fine day to day with the occassional panic attack. I went back to education, college and university were generally ok on a day to day basis.
My doctor then told me i had to come off seroxat as i had been on it too long, so i tried and the side effects were horrendous. After a couple of months being on and off seroxat i told my gp i would not be able to come off it and was then put on paroxetine liquid form, my panic attacks came back quite strongly and began to interrupt my life especially work. The last few years have been good and bad, currently getting worse.
My basic concerns are coaches, i hate them! cars when someone else is driving, going to a new area that i do not know, going out with only one friend because if i do panic and go home i feel like i have let them down as i will have ruined their night out etc, sitting in a room full of people incase i cannot escape easily, sitting in the middle row of the cinema, people staying at my house or me staying at someone elses house (other than family) the list goes on, i have panicked before about having my hair cut! basically any situation where i feel escape may be embarressing or difficult. I think this is because i worry about having a panic attack and because i worry so much i end up having them. I know people say no one knows you are panicking but i have to go to the loo and i am occassionally sick, so they do know!
I hate being a burden to my friends and family because i do go totally irrational buti cannot help it sometimes.
The last 5 years have been difficult with certain events causing me to panic which have then set me back I have a close family, husband and friends that do what they can but i feel stuck.
My anxiety is bad at the moment I work an hours train journey away from home and even though i have been here 2 years the last few weeks have been bad as i have cut my medication from 15mg of escitalopram to 5mg as we would like to start a family. I now have no idea whether the way i feel is down to the cut of my medication or it is my anxiety! I sometimes thing i maybe am just ill but then it makes me panic more because i hate being ill away from home!!
Work is very understanding and i have managed to sit the panic out so far but it is so difficult. I would love to go home when i panic but if i do i know the next day will be worse. I hate taking time off when i really am ill as i struggle to come back in the next day. I would like to go part time but cannot afford it!
Its all so difficult!