View Full Version : So anxious, edgy not even starting back on Cip till Tuesday! PLEASE HELP ME!
Since my shrink told me to wean off the Mirtazapine on Tuesday from 45mg to 30mg and cut the Clonazepam in half so bloody anxious worried can't sleep suicidal thoughts can't go out function dread seeing anyone switched my phone off etc etc! next Tuesday I start taking Cip 5mg in the morning whilst finishing weaning off Mirtazapine 15mg for a week and finishing the Clonazepam the week after I should just be on 10mg of Cip for a few weeks then prob up to 20mg I am just having a nightmare can't keep still this is even before I've started re-taking the Cip told my shrink all this yesterday she said it's gonna be very tough this as well as the side-effects and they may not kick in for a week or two I still have'nt fully accepted what I did to myself last Oct don't know what I'd do without my partner Sandra, mum, sis close pals just feel so guilty please help me someone with advice, help, info etc and thanks Marla as ever praying it helps with the awful anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, panics etc etc I'm sure the consultant shrink would'nt have put me back on em' if she thought they were gonna make me worse! too ill at mo to go to physio and CBT (did'nt help me too much) PLEASE HELP! don't wanna end up back in the nut house! so desperate don't know how I'm gonna get through till Tuesday (that's if they help/work) crawling the bloody walls!!!!! HELP/ADVICE/INFO/ANYTHING PLEASE! Thanks so much.
Hi Micko,
Sorry that you are feeling as you are at the moment...its not easy changing meds as it can cause withdrawal effects....these feelings are temporary and will go it will just take time. I think you need to just concentrate on yourself for a couple of weeks and put off anything that you may need to do, that way you have no extra pressure on yourself.
It sounds like you have a very caring partner and family close to you for support...please dont feel guilty...thats what family are for. You have your friends here on NMP too.
Try to keep calm and not panic...it will pass and you wont end up in any nut house.
Thinking of you.
Take care
Jo.xx
Hi Micko
I stopped taking mirtazipine (45mg) in late June to start on another AD. My GP told me to just stop cold turkey and within days I was climbing the walls. I know you are tapering the mirt but I still think you'll have some withdrawals from such a strong dose. Hang in there because it does pass. I'm currently into my third week of Cipralex (I had a brief spell on Prozac) and have had some heightened anxiety but it was nothing compared to the withdrawals of the mirt. You will get through this. It's something thousands of people do and to each of them it seems like their own particular hell - but they get through it and come out smiling and so will you.
Recently I feel like I've looked into the jaws of hell and I know you've been there too. But these feelings thrive on fear and we create our own fear and what we create we can control. So now when I feel panicky I think 'ok bring it on' - and try to have a panic attack which of course doesn't happen because suddenly I'm in control and not frightened. It's worked every time.
You're having a difficult time but each moment that passes is another moment nearer to feeling better. So panic if you will, cry, rave, talk to your loved ones, your GP, your shrink, do whatever it takes. None of this is weakness but steps to recovery and wellness. Accept yourself and all your flaws and cherish your life and who you are right now. You're amazingly strong to come so far and you will be stronger still in future.
Best wishes, Deva
Thanks Deva and Jo just wish I could accept my disabilty as well can't do half as much as I used to not even been to my own flat for over year scared they'll take it off me! worry bout my mum, everything hope the Cipralex helps with all this like the Clonazepam (short-term) did xx
Micko
I read recently that once we learn that everything we are looking for is already inside us we can attain any state of mind we desire. We chase acceptance, serenity and peace of mind as if they are things that exist outside of us but we all have the capacity for these things. But they take time. Take things one step at a time: take the meds and start to feel better; then work on acceptance of yourself and in the meantime try not to worry about your mum and family. Remember what they say on the airplanes - in an emergency put your own oxygen mask on before you help others. So get better and then turn your attention to your other concerns.
It's really hard I know - but the best thing you can do is let time pass. You are doing all you can to help yourself. Be kind to yourself. And remember we are all a work in progress :)
Best wishes, Deva
Thanks Deva, just worried that the Cipralex won't touch it? I see it as a last chance saloon! it's a bloody long time off till Tuesday the days are so long I watch a lot of TV to try and take the edge off things in the mornings try and force myself back to sleep! it's so bloody difficult with one hand having been so used to two! when I was in the nut house was on Clonazepam twice daily that helped not doin' much now just stops shakes at least Cipralex is non addictive and non tolerant!
Hello Micko.
Guess what? It is already Friday, almost Saturday. Tuesday is just around the corner. The days are passing, and you will get there! I think one of the things that really is helping me right now, is not allowing myself to think about any of the things in my life that cause me stress and worry. You have enough on your plate to deal with in regards to getting all this medication out of your body, and then getting the Cipralex into your body. That is going to take some time, and it is going to cause you more stress and anxiety - everything else will just have to wait! When the worries about your flat, and your disability, and everything else start to run in your head, you just have to say NOT YET. One thing at a time. Right now the only thing that is important is getting your mind to a better place. All other things will just have to wait. When they sneak into my mind, I say "I will think about this next week, when I am feeling stronger", but not today. Today is all about getting healthy and taking care, any feelings of stress or worry is only going to make it take longer to feel better. Physio, CBT, therapy, your flat, your hand, etc., is all still going to be there later, but you will be so much stronger and healthier, and in a much better state to be able to deal with it. Once you get through this, well, you will be able to handle anything! Nothing can be as hard as this! As for your partner and your family, well I think we all worry about the stress we are causing our loved ones. But guess what? YOU aren't the one causing them stress, your anxiety is! Don't feel guilty, as you don't choose to feel this way! And you are getting there - if you can get through this, so can they. They love you, and that is all that matters. In a few more days you will start to feel better, and so will they. Hang in there my friend, you are closer each and every day!
Marla:hugs:
Thanks "as alway's" Marla what if the Cipralex makes me worse, more anxious, agaraphobic, and more suicidal thoughts!!!! crawling the ****ing walls as it is!!! x
Thanks Deva, just worried that the Cipralex won't touch it? I see it as a last chance saloon!
I've been on Mirt (45mg) and now 10mg of Cip and in my opinion Cip is much more effective at reducing anxiety and depression. It took months for the mirt to get my anxiety under control and even then on 45mgs for 6 mths I still had a nervous breakdown. The Cip has kicked in to get to grips with my anxiety in a matter of two weeks and I've only just got up to 10mgs. Two weeks ago I was suicidal, felt 'out of control' and like I was going crazy. I was crying, ranting and climbing the walls. I felt like I was falling into a well of despair and clinging on by my fingernails. Today I feel ok (still not brilliant but a damn sight better) and I know I'm getting better each day. You're going to be fine. If someone had said that to me two weeks ago I wouldn't have believed it either but you will. :)
Deva
Micko, so what if Cip does make you anxious? You're already there my friend! So what if it makes you feel like crap for a few days? You already do! You have been through so much worse than anything that little pill can throw at you!!!! Don't let your mind be the thing that pushes it all out of control. Just remember that you can deal with all other problems LATER. I am with Deva. The Cip sent me through a tough time, but I know that each day is better than the last. I am only at day 5 of the full dose and I already feel the anxiety slipping out..( It's taking its bloody sweet time about it, but it is leaving none the less:))
Remember how last week you were worried about how far away Tuesday was because you were anxious to get to appointment with new shrink? Remember how long that felt, and how you were worried that she wouldn't help you, that she wouldn't care? That Tuesday came, and all your worries were for not - she was nice, she did care, she is helping you! It is the same this week. Tuesday is coming quick, the meds you are tapering are leaving your body, each day they get less and less. Then you can start the Cip, and you will be counting down to the next Tuesday, when the side effects will be less and less. Then on to the next Tuesday when you will feel better and better. Pretty soon, Tuesday will just be another day.....
No problem Micko, and thank you - you are also helping me get through this you know!
Because I initially came to this site on day 2 of 10mg of cipralex. all the literature about the drug said there was nothing to worry about, that side effects were rare, blah blah blah. I thought I was actually losing my mind, and was scared witless. I found this site by accident, and it has been a life saver. I don't know anyone else who has ever felt the way I feel. I had no idea how isolated I felt until I met all the wonderful people on this site who know exactly how I feel. That in itself has helped. To know that I am not actually going bonkers, to know that other people have trouble because of the meds, to just know that I am not alone. It is a great opportunity to talk to you, to know that i am not alone in this. Talking helps sort out a whole lot. There is just a lot of comfort in having friends who truly understand what it feels like to be anxious! and won't it be great when we all get better? Then it will be great to have friends to know how far we have come!:hugs:
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