Scared of HIV

[harasgenster]

Hi
In November I slept with someone I didn't like very much (drunk and stupid) and have worried since then about HIV.

I got a test done probably around a month afterwards (although it may have been a fortnight - I can't remember!) and was negative for everything.

But in December I started feeling like my bladder didn't have as much stamina but I didn't think too much of it because I get mild cystitis from time to time and usually I just get a couple of symptoms then it goes away.

Then in April I got a really bad case of cystitis that they treated but it kept coming back. I went for scans of my pelvis, bladder, womb and kidneys but there were no signs of anything except my coil being out of place.

I got my coil out last month and it got a lot better quickly but the symptoms are still there.

I thought I needed to give it time to heal but it started feeling worse this week so I went to the doctor and he found blood and white cells in my urine.

I'm being treated for thrush in the bladder because they found thrush on the coil and in my vagina.

I don't actually have any symptoms of thrush, though! Apart from swelling.

So now I'm terrified because I read a while back that you don't normally get thrush in the bladder unless you're HIV positive and that one of the first signs of HIV in women is recurrent thrush infections. Then I read the leaflet from the pills they gave me and it had loads of information for AIDS patients which frightened me even more!

My boyfriend is sick of me being frightened of this because he thinks I'm being silly and he's probably right. The man I slept with just sort of stuck it in without warning so I didn't have time to ask him to use a condom and then he was only in there for a few thrusts (if you'll excuse the term) before he pulled out (he didn't ejaculate).

I was worried because he used to use prostitutes but he swore he'd been tested recently and in reality I know a lot of prostitutes demand the use of condoms.

Even if he was HIV positive, there was barely any contact makes it really unlikely I'd contract it doesn't it?

Has anyone any advice how I could stop worrying about this? I'm embarrassed to ask my doctor because he'd just think I was a hypochondriac (which I am!) and if he thought there was a chance he'd probably test for it.

[anthrokid]

Just ask your doctor for a test and say you really need to be certain about it :) I'm sure he'll understand. If he hasn't sent you for a test it's pretty unlikely that you do have HIV but for your peace of mind just request a test :) It's not going to do any damage to have one test and it won't be much of a hassle. ANd you'll feel better for it.

[LisaLisa]

Hiya

I know how horrible this feels I am a chronic worrier about HIV and im now five negative tests down the line seven years since any even possible exposure ( probably wasnt any !) and i dont beleive my test result and am sure that i have all the signs and symptoms.....well some at least.

But the facts are that the tests are very good. They work very early and becuase the NHS are all supposed to be using what they call fourth generation tests that test for addition things that the tests previously didnt pick up, they are really good at picking up the virus early, before the antibodies that the older tests look for alone.

You have a bladder infection, who says its thrush in your bladder? In actuall fact we all have the bacteria that causes thrush living in our bodies its just that occasionally it multiplies out of countrol and causes sympstoms. Some women get thrush regularly due to the hormones balalance and so many other things. These things are all very general symptoms and if you were to be diagnosed as HIV positive on these symtoms that dr would get struck off super quick!!

You are very anxious and totally sensitised to the subject of HIV but please dont let you fear bully you into thinkiing its an accurate assessment of the situation. Sometimes your emotions fool you into thinking things are bad when they arent. You have to home in on your logical mind here.

If you look on the net , and beleive me this IS true! , absoultely every condition and ilness has a mention of HIV somewhere. Im not sure if this is indicitivate of the proportion of folks with it, or a desire to scare the sh*t out of everyone or just medical research trying to make those with it feel included....who knows!!

But the thing is no matter what ilness you have, people with hiv can get it too!! So please just dont read those bits in medication cos you are sensitised and freaked out by that subject thats all.

Hope you okay

PM me if you need to talk cos i dont mind at all

Lisa
xxxx:hugs:

[MoonlightFire]

Hi harasgenster, I just wanted to say I know how you are feeling and I'm sorry you're having a bad time. I've been scared of HIV for a long time and get particularly worried about an incidence of oral sex when I was at university 8 and a half years ago. I don't know whether the other person was HIV positive. I got a gum infection a couple of weeks later and looked on the internet to find all kinds of alarming things! I called the THT helpline and they said i was low risk but I still worry and am psyching myself up for a test. You guys are so brave for getting tested...I hope I can find as much strength as both of you did!

harasgenster, let us know how you get on. I would say that you are at low risk as there was no ejaculation and the research all says that even with unprotected vaginal sex the risk of the virus actually passing over is still low...1 in 1000s I seem to remember but don't quote me on that.

All the best,
Moonlight Xx

[worriedmummy1]

I am very scared too of HIV. Yesterday I saw a sexual health councillor and they did a rapid test which was negative. But now my anxiety has gone into overdrive and I am thinking what if he swapped the clean syringe for one that was loaded with hiv blood when I was not looking, as I cant watch needles go in my arm at all so was looking away.

[harasgenster]

Thanks everybody for your support.

I do have thrush in my bladder as they put me on antifungals just in case and said they'd phone if they were wrong when they got the test results back but I haven't had a call.

I've just finished the antifungals though and I don't feel much better. I think I'm getting worried because my body just doesn't seem to be fighting it off. I've had the infection for around 4 and a half months now, although its been a series off infections (bacterial and fungal) rather than just one. I've barely had one day where I've just felt normal, though.

I got tested for HIV about a month after unprotected sex and I was sent to hospital recently because I was getting pains in my stomach they thought could be a sign of something worse and they took blood tests and swabs there.

They didn't tell me what the tests were for but since the results came back with thrush they probably did a full sti screen with bloods for hiv and syphilis.

I don't know this for sure though so I'm going to have another series of tests at the clinic just to put my mind at rest.

It's silly I'm getting so worried about this because I've had fungal infections on my skin almost constantly since I was very young. I'm just prone to it. I've had fungal infections (almost without reprieve) around my eyes and on my hands for the last two years at least but that's not bothered me. Weirdly, the pills I'm taking haven't even got rid of that!

I'll let you know how I get on but I'm starting to wonder now whether the reason I'm not fighting this off is because I'm so run down and stressed. I work almost constantly nowadays and before that I was unemployed (which was even more stressful!) I realised the other day I haven't had a holiday (i.e. chosen to take time off work rather than scrabbling around for money or been ill!) for about five years so maybe it's just time to take a break.

Thinking about it, the skin infections cropped up at a time of very high stress just over two years ago and haven't gone away since. Maybe my immunity has been weakened by all this anxiety!