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CHICKEN
26-02-04, 16:32
Hi New to the board

I have suffered from Depression and Anxiety on/off for 4 years since my first pregnancey was put on prozac after the birth of my son and was on them for a year - got better but then my mother was diagnsed with cancer and then died Jan 2003 and then had a miscarraige on Dec 2003 - Since then the Anxiety and Depression has come back really badley - I am having CBT and my last session is next week but it does not seem to be working - I have had various symtoms Headaches,TMJ,Dizziness,Blurred Vison,very bad indegstion and heartburn, IBS, but the worst thing for me is the sheer exaustion and lack of energy - I have trouble getting out of bed and going to work, play with my son needs a great deal of effort from me and I seem to be doing it less and asking my husband to as I have not got the energy to get of the chair - I always think I have a terminal illness and my son will not have a mother - I lost my father to cancer when I was 16years old and then my mother died last year to caner - I miss them so much and am desperate that my son does not go through the hurt of losing someone at a young age. I just want to feel normal just one day were I wake up in the morning and feel ok and look forward to the day ahead and enjoy the little things in life - at the moment I feel that I am not living just existing.

Is the feeling exausted all the time a normal feeling and part of anxiety??

I am 37 years old.

Meg
26-02-04, 19:48
Dear Karen,

It's not suprising that you've been depressed and anxious and these are both natural emotions following what's been going on with you. I'm sorry to hear your sad news.

At how many weeks was the miscarriage ?

The exhaustion is one natures way of keeping you still and coming to terms with your grief. Are you sleeping soundly ?

You could be helped by a rich mineral and vitamin tonic.
Neways Maximols has produced startling results in these circumstances previously.

If you do not have any other medical issues ,then it may be helpful to get yuur GP to give you something for the indigestion and heartburn if you're not already on a PPI.

A massage will help with the headaches and TMJ , dizziness and the vision will improve with calmness .

It is normal to feel tired with anxiety but your exhausted state may well be from the grief and sadness still.




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

CHICKEN
27-02-04, 10:32
Thanks for replying.

I had HG with both pregnancies (which is very bad sickness - hospitalized twice and but on drips and given anti-sickness injections, lost 2 stone) had a scan at 8 weeks and everything ok - went for a scan at 14 weeks and they could not find a heart beat and said that the baby had died at around 11.5 weeks. Was devastated - and had to have an evacuation. Think it might of been my last chance to have another child as age is creeping up on me and I am scared of going through all that again - Just feel as if I have let my husband and son down by not giving them a brother/sister/son/daughter - when everyone around me seems to be having children with no problems.

I do sleep but wake up about twice a night - sometimes worring about how I feel - Just taking Gaviscon for the indegestion - have had camera put down throat to see if everything ok and it was - but I think it's also a family thing my mom always had indegestion.

I am also going to a TMJ Specialist soon - so hope that will help.

My husband has been fantastic and I love him so much but he is becoming ill because of my anxiety it's making him worry and stressed and I am scared.

I just want to be a normal wife and mom.

Lottie32
27-02-04, 12:38
Hi Chicken

Meg is so right about the whole grief/anxiety/tiredness issue.

I spend most of my life being tired, and feeling exhausted. However, this is getting better. I have found that the following things help me:

1. Try and relax and grab some "treat" time as much as possible
2. Watch your diet - eat sensibly and healthily. A Low GI diet is very good for regulating the blood sugar, and stopping those tired troughs. Make sure you drink plenty of water. Avoid fizzy/sugary drinks and too much tea/coffee (green or herbal tea is ok though)
3. Reduce or stop smoking and drinking
4. Get your GP to review your meds. Some can make you sleepy, and there are non drowsy formulations available for most drugs
5. Get plenty of fresh air
6. Take some regular exercise
7. Listen to your body. If you are nodding off at 4pm on Sunday, then snooze for a bit
8. Get a regular bed time routine going - keep the bedroom for sleeping.
9. Drink a milky drink, burn lavendar oil, etc to create a state condusive to sleep
10. If you can't "switch off" your mind at bedtime, I listen to a relaxation tape very quietly. Most of the time, I've dropped off before it's ended. If I wake up in the middle of the night anxious, I put it on again.
11. Confront any issues that you may have. Discuss with your GP grief counselling, or ring CRUISE or the Samaritans for advice.

Concentrate on making your body as healthy as possible, then it can cope easier with what life throws at it!

And above all, please try not to worry. Easier said than done I know, but worry feeds the tiredness, and I always find I am much more anxious and less able to cope when I'm tired. Which makes me more anxious, which makes me more tired!

Take care

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

stimpy
29-02-04, 03:35
Oh Chicken,

no wonder you are suffering so badly, anyone who has gone through what you have gone through would be suffering too.

It is perfectly normal to be exhausted, when I was a sofa loving panic monster I used to sleep 75% of the time, even washing the dishes would wear me out.
If your body is telling you to sleep then it obviously needs the rest.

Don't worry about being a normal wife and mother, you are perfectly normal.
It may not feel like that at the moment, but you are and things will get better.

Coping with the death of loved ones is awful, if your loved on is ill, you can at least start to prepare yourself for the worst news possible.
However when a loved one dies suddenly, or you miscarry, or you yourself are young dealing with death it can make it far more devistating.

Thinking you are terminally ill is perfectly natural. As you have lost both parents to cancer it is understandable that you are going to worry yourself ill that you have got it too, mix that with not sleeping and your physical symptoms - it all adds up .

I would definately advice talking to someone about your worries and inner grief.

You can contact CRUSE,UK on 0870 167 1677, http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ or email them at: helpline@crusebereavementcare.org.uk if you prefer.

or you can contact the Samaritans on 08457 90 9090, http://www.samaritans.org/ or you can e-mail them at :Jo@Samaritans.org if you prefer. - They are very nice people and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Try to relax as much as you can, it will help you to feel better.


Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

jollywalrus
29-02-04, 15:47
Hi Chicken,
Your post has touched my heart, especially the part where you say you never want your son to go through the hurt of losing a parent at such a young age. My Mother and Father died within six months of each other two years ago. My Mother simply lost the will to live without my Father. The pain has been excrutiating and I know a large part of my anxiety is that I never want my kids to feel the same pain that I have. But you know, the reality is, they will at some stage, but while you and I are worrying about it, we are wasting our days with them. I was a nurse and I know that the truth is most people never get really ill in their lifetime, and most people live to be a ripe old age when death holds no fear for them any more. We have to try and keep that in mind.
There is a touching poem by Mary Oliver that sums things up so well;

To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.



I'm still looking for ways to let go, and if I find a way, I will tell you! In the meantime, be kind to yourself and remember what you are feeling is a big part of the grief process. You are doing your very best and I bet your Mum and Dad would be proud.
Best wishes,
Christine

Lottie32
29-02-04, 22:02
When my granny died, we read this out at the funeral.

I thought it was lovely, and it's exactly as she wanted things done.

Its over four years since dad went, and a whole year in March since Fossil died.

I read this poem, sometimes, cos I find it helps.

When I come to the end of the road and the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room, why cry for a soul set free.
Miss me a little - but not too long and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared - miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take and each must go alone.
It's all a part of the masters plan a step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart, go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds - miss me, but let me go.

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

nomorepanic
29-02-04, 22:56
Charlie

That is really lovely :)

Nicola

kate
01-03-04, 10:29
Charlie,

What a lovely poem, it brought a lump to my throat.

Kate x

stimpy
02-03-04, 11:13
Anyone got any hankies ?

Charlie that was lovely!

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

Lottie32
02-03-04, 16:14
Actually, when I need to cry, but can't (does that make sense - its inside wanting to come out, but you just can't let go?), I read that poem.

Even though I nearly know it off my heart, it still does it for me!

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

CHICKEN
02-03-04, 16:36
Hi,

That was a lovley poem - I have had a bad weekend and coudl not go to work on Monday because I felt so ill - tired and hot and having panic attacks all day - cam back today and dont feel as bad but went to the doctors to ask if I coudl be Anemic because I am prone to that he sent me to have a blood test and will get the results in 7 days - so scared that I they might find something bad - I am making my husbands life a misery with all the worry and panic attacks I am having.

I am typing this and is helps to realize that I am not the only person sho suffers from this - Everyone I speak to seems to think that I am crazy and just need to as they say "keep my chin up" God I hate that word.

Got to go know talk to you later karen

Laurie28
02-03-04, 16:41
Karen,

I'm sorry you are having such a bad time. Keep your chin up or pull yourself together is not useful advice (i know)

Has the doctor gave you any medication or referred to to a counsellor for your panic/anxiety/depression?

Let us know how your doing

Lucky

CHICKEN
02-03-04, 17:07
I have been given Fluxotine (think that's the name it's a form of prozac) I was on that after I had my son but I suffer form Epilepsy but had not had a fit for 20 years when I was 12years old - and while on Fluxotine I had a fit - they still dont know wether it was brought on by taking Fluxotine - so obviously I am concerned about taking them again - I know I need to take something and they made me much better last time except for the fit. I am trying everything else - have taken Kalms in the past but they just make me sleep - I am attening CBT but does not help and have started going back to the gym but it takes so much effort - they do yoga their so thought I might give that a go - but dont feel like it at the moment. Im just so fed up of feeling like this a want to feel happy and have a laugh once in a while instead of all this gloom and doom existance.

thanks karne

Lottie32
02-03-04, 17:52
Hi Karen

I'm afraid without sounding too harsh, the road to recovery is uphill most of the way!

There are no "quick fix" solutions. Life is hard, and a constant battle.

HOWEVER, once you've started up the path, things really do start to get easier.

CBT is like the gym and yoga - they take a lot of effort, progress is slow, but you definitely feel better for it in the end!

Keep persevering. I have been taking fluoxetine (and yes you are right, it is Prozac) for the last month. I am gradually starting to feel a little better. Less emotional, calmer, more rational etc.

However, medication like the CBT and getting fit also takes time and patience before the effect is felt!

DO NOT imagine that because you had a fit once when you were on prozac, it will happen again. Your doctor will have taken that into consideration before prescribing. I can understand that you are concerned, particularly after having gone so long without a fit. However, if you imagine something will happen, then most usually it does!

Try and think rationally - if we didn't do all the things that had at one point or another caused us a problem, we would have a very little list of things left to do.

For example, I once got food poisioning from eating chicken legs at a party. However, this doesn't mean that every chicken leg I ever eat again will give me food poisioning again!

Try the tablets with an open mind, and keep going for CBT. Hopefully you will soon see "the light" at the end of the tunnel.

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Meg
02-03-04, 20:18
Hi Karen.

Are you on any supplements ?

Are you eating a low sugar diet - little and often and keeping off caffiene ?

You probably need the yoga most just about now.

These can all help significantly. Often progress is in several guises and creeps up on you.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

CHICKEN
03-03-04, 10:29
No I am not taking any supplements - dont know what to take!!

I do feel better after I go to the gym but I have to make my self go - and that's so hard.


I am trying to eat healthy - I don't drink Coffee or Tea and have never smoked.

Over the past couple of days I have notived that I have like a nervous stomach - feel the need to go to the ladies all the time. Is this down to anxiety.

I am so fed up of feeling so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laurie28
03-03-04, 10:36
The need to wee is definetly a sign of stress/anxiety as is the stomach. There are some great posts on how to settle you tummy( perhaps type in irritable bowel as i know charlie done a great post or stoamch and it should give you something here)

I know al these symptoms can drag you down but hopefully you will start to see an impovement soon with all your changes diet etc!

Love
lucky

Lottie32
03-03-04, 11:13
Hi Chicken

Good supplements are Vitamin B Complex and Omega 3 Fish Oils. These help the CNS and stress levels.

I try and eat a low GI diet - go onto Amazon - they are doing a really good offer at the minute, which includes the GI Cook Book and Living the GI Diet on a double purchase offer.

Both books are really good.

I suffer from IBS, which is much worse when I am anxious. The best way to control it is to relax, and deal with the anxiety - easier said than done alot of the time.

I have posted about this previously, but the following tips may help

Drink plenty of water
Eat little and often
Keep a diary - see if you have any "trigger" foods (i'm not good with onions and peppers for example)
Eat plenty of fibre, basically swop anything white for brown
Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables
Eat plenty of fish and chicken
Red meat and pulses/beans can aggravate, so eat cautiously
Peppermint oil capsules and colpermin are both available over the counter at any chemist
Charcoal tablets can help with dyspepsia, bloating, indigestion, nausea and diarohhea (available from any health shop, but beware, they have the potential to turn your pooh black - so don't panic, you've not suddenly developed bowel cancer)
Exercise can help too
If you feel nauseaous, you can buy Motilium from the chemist, or try a proprietary antacid (particulary if you have a burning in your gullet)
I have a really good leaflet if you are still struggling - e-mail me your address and I'll forward it, or if you are not comfortable with this, mail your address to Nic, and I will send it to her to forward

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Lottie32
03-03-04, 11:22
p.s

As I recently discovered, once your body has taken all the vitamin B's it needs from the supplements, it expels the excess out in your urine.

If you do start to take Vit B Complex, do not worry if you end up with fluorescent wee.

This is NORMAL. Do NOT panic!

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Meg
03-03-04, 14:49
If you feel churny and this leads to nausea. Its only excess gases that you've made in your tum.

A heavily carbonated drink ie Tonic water.. a few big swigs, a couple of big burps and its hugely better.

Charlie - if you're permenently flurescent now - you could cut down to every other day . I take daily when busy and know stress is coming, despite colour but take on an ad hoc basis the rest of the time now.

Chicken - the low Glycaemic Index diet is to stop putting your system under stress from a constant roller coaster blood sugar.
Many anxiety prone people are quite hypoglycaemic without knowing it. If this affects you -you will see a difference within days. For others it is not a problem at all. There are plenty of previous posts on this - just use search.

Adrenaline hurries the digestion - thus your trips to the loo.




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Lottie32
04-03-04, 10:23
Meg

There is no consistency at the moment, so I am taking daily!

Some nights I can illuminate the bathroom, and other days I'm back to "normal".

Going to give it a bit longer, then will take alternate days as you've suggested.

Thanks

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

CHICKEN
09-03-04, 11:21
Hello again - have had a dreadful week - finished CBT and was awaiting FBC blood test results - convinced myself that I had something and felt awful - have been crying all the time and so exausted - and have a sore throat (so has husband and son) I am so depressed and might start taking my fluxotine (not sure thougth) - got my results of the blood test and it was NORMAL - felt such and idiot - but so releived.

Mt poor husband has gone through such a lot - he is so stressed and worrried - I dont want to put him through all this but sometimes I just cannot control my thoughts - sometimes the tools that CBT have given me works but other times my thoughts and actions just complety have control and focusing on happy things and breathing techs just do not work.

I have put myself back on Kalms - on the bottle it says take 2 three times a day but I can only take 1 once a day as it sonks me out - think I would be in a coma if I took anymore.

Thanks

Karen

stimpy
09-03-04, 11:35
Sorry you have had such a bad week.
But on the plus side the results came back normal, so that is excellent news.

Hang in there things will get better.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

Lottie32
09-03-04, 12:27
Dear Chicken

Please don't be disheartened. My personal view is that their is no "quick fix" to curing our anxiety/panic.

All the solutions are there - but we have to work hard at using them to achieve our goal. Every so often this seems very difficult, and we feel like we are getting nowhere fast.

My take on CBT is this. The brain controls the anxiety/panic, and CBT is all about retraining the brain and re-gaining control over our symptoms and fears, challenging them, and eventually banishing them. We can only do this by repeated challenging so we make our brain realise that nothing bad is going to happen if we leave our safe area, go to Tescos on our own, or eat a meal out.

The brain is like a puppy you are trying to toilet train. You get so far, are successful, then something happens to excite, upset or distract the puppy and you are back to square one with a steaming mess in the middle of the kitchen.

So you start again. But because you have put the work in before, you don't have to go back to square one - you can fast track a bit.

Eventually, by repeatedly continuing to do this, the puppy grows up knowing not to toilet in the house! (Hopefully)

CBT is re-training the brain, and there will be occasions when it doesn't work fully all the time.

Stick with it though - CBT and the techniques you learn there are life skills, and with practice you will soon start to see an improvement - honestly.

Also, when we allow our brain to think in anxious mode, we start to expect certain reactions to certain situations - anticipatory panic. The longer you have been suffering the longer it takes to rid the mind of this suggestive anxiety. However, you will do it.

I am not being negative here - I'm trying to be positive. I have suffered on and off since my teens, and for the last three 1/2 years I've been terrible.

However, with a combination of CBT, sensible eating, exercise, supplements, and some hard work, I really am starting to feel better.

Ok, so my progress has been slow, and there still some things I "can't" do - but someday soon they will get challenged too, and I will start going on holiday again etc etc etc.

Please stick with it Chicken. None of us are superwomen. You have a busy life and it's not unreasonable to have off days.

Keep going Chicken. You are doing so well

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

brill
14-03-04, 12:42
Hi chicken

I don,t have any realy good advice only to keep on talking about your problems to these people in hear and listen to what they have to say.I personally find talking to these people a lot more usefull then talking to the doctors. And I think that you are a good mother and wife because if you wernt you would.nt worry about being a good mother and wife

I hope and pray for the best for you

Brill

CHICKEN
22-03-04, 15:32
I think I have cystitis now - not the bacterial type though - I have had it before - not sure what triggers it - feel ill and tired. Also feel sad as it was mother's day and I miss my mom - but I did have a lovely card and present of my son (he is so gerogous) not a bit biased at all!! I am also having trouble with my ribs - ever since I had my son my muscles in my ribcage have turn over - when this happens it is very painful - it only happens if I bend over - not all the time and was getting better - especially when I went to excercise classes - I have just started going back to the gym but instead of the muscle going over in just one place it starts on the right and goes like a wave right across to the left. Has anybody else heard of this? I asked my doctor and he said that it can happen after having a baby.

I am now getting worried about going on holiday in April - we are going to Euro Disney and with all the terriousm going on I am worried about travelling just incase something happens - but my son is so excited - do not want to disapoint him but I am getting anxious about it.

Hope you all are all ok.

Just had to get it out of my system today.

Thansk


karen

Meg
22-03-04, 18:46
Cranberry juice by the bucketful then...

Everyone is nervous about terrorism. Thousands of people have changed their travel plans and they are not all panicers - its normal to be anxious about it.

It's each persons decision about how much they are prepared to compromise their lifestyle because of it though.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Lottie32
23-03-04, 15:42
Karen

To put the thoughts on terrorism into perspective - terrorists have been active in Ireland and Spain for many many years.

The Irish have been responsible for many killings on the mainland - in most of our major cities - remember all those poor people doing their Xmas shopping in Manchester?

Now all of a sudden because the Americans have been affected, it is suddenly a huge problem. It always has been !!!! My dad served in Aden and Ireland in the sixties and lost lots of his friends to acts of terrorism.

Please try not to worry. You are more likely to get knocked over crossing the road, than killed by an act of terrorism.

Take care

Charlie

p.s. Hope this doesn't set you off worrying about crossing the road - so long as you use the green cross code, you'll be fine.

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.