Off work, Can't breathe HELP!

[cwoz82]

Hi,

I finally took the plunge last week and got myself signed off. Been stressing for such a long time as i knew i needed time off from work but was too scared. Been signed off for 3 weeks initially as of tuesday just gone citing Depression and Anxiety. The first few days I was so tired i couldn't believe, Friday I spent some time with my Mum. Whilst out I had a call from my works HR as a weekly check in as standard when signed off but also to discuss arrangements for a meeting regarding greivances i raised before i was signed off. wondering if i wanted to deal with it whilst off but i dont think i can begin to recover until these issues in work are dealt with.
Since then i've been incapable of relaxing, the belt around my chest feeling (worse than ever before), breathless, chest pains, heart racing, when i'm not having ectopics - had 2 hours of ectopics last night constantly! I had a lavender bath to try to relax, read a book and just take it easy but i can't shake the symptoms and it's getting to me as they've never been so strong and so constant, i usually get a little peace during a bath or while reading but nothing is shifting this tension, my usual coping strategies are not working, i feel like going for a walk but the tightness in my chest is causing breathlessness just around the house and i'm so so tired but i guess this is the tension and breathlessness taking it's toll, all i want to do is sleep but i know that will just leave me fuzzy headed.
I'm just feeling lost in my anxiety for the first time in a long time, i''ve never ever felt so bad as i have in recent weeks, never had full blown depression like i do now and for a long time i'd been able to find a little relief for an hour through a bath and reading from anxiety.
I have never ever felt so bad, so low or so anxious before, especially outside of work!
I'm completely lost and don't know what to do, my husband had been so worried about me for weeks and weeks begging me to take time off work and i don't want him to know just how badly i feel or he will worry more about me than he already does.
Can someone help? Support/Advice? I'm desperate

[blueangel]

Sounds like you are similar to me in that you need things to occupy your mind to take you away from your depression and anxiety. I always find that the less I have to do, the more I focus inwards and then this will lead to me ruminating about the things that I cannot change or control.

Have you got things that you could do, or people that you could be with? being off work is probably a good idea by the sound of it, as it would probably be very difficult to cope at work in this state. but of course being off work means that you're going to be alone for a lot of the day, particularly if your husband is out at work himself.

What you probably need to do is to aim to be off work for as long as you need to get yourself stable again, but then go back and see how it goes/ Your HR department should be able to arrange for a graduated return to work for you - and also, don't forget that if you have suffered from this for more than 12 months at a stretch, you fall under the remit of the Disability Discrimination Act, which means that your place of work need to make "reasonable adjustments" to help you stay in work.

I would also leave the grievance until you're well, particularly if you're pursuing it under any sort of formal process, as that can be very stressful. Is there any way that you could resolve the grievance informally? That might be a better way around the situation without putting yourself under additional stress when you do return to work. I'm a trade union official where I work, so if you need any advice, please feel free to drop me a PM.

[sharon35]

Oh you sound like me too, i had panic attacks at work and worked myself up so much i am signed off for two weeks, im stressing and worrying about going back already and cannot seem to relax.
im also starting to get depressed about it now.
I dont even know why the attacks started at work i havent even got a stressful job.

I think you've done the best thing by having time off, what we both need to think is its just work at the end of the day and we need to take time off to get better. easier said than done i know.

I wish you all the best and a quick recovery. xx

[popsy]

My situation is very different to yours, but i just wanted to say 'big hugs' to you, and your quote 'lost in my anxiety' rings so true to me at the moment. Sorry i cant offer you any advice, but wanted you to know im there with you xxxxxx