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NOFEAR
26-02-04, 20:09
I have had panic attacks on and off for many years but recently they have become long-lasting and very severe. It is called status panicus or cluster panic attacks as they often last for many hours at a time.
The last attack lasted six hours and it was horribly beyond any words. I thought I was going insane, that I would go crazy, that I was loosing my mind.
After this six hour of pure hell (I had no medication to help me and I was paralyzed by fear), I think the world looks unreal. Is this some brain-damage ?
Anyone else here who have had status panicus ???

:([xx(]:(

Let us stop the panic

sadie
26-02-04, 20:52
Hi Nofear,

To be honest i have never heard of 'status panicus' but I do remember when I first started getting PA, I felt that I had them everyday, allday and was very frightened of living!

You say you ahve experienced PA on and off for many years. So, what has happened recently to make them come back? I find when I worry too much about things, I start to feel more anxious and the symptoms come back. Has something happened lately that has caused the old symptoms to reappear?

We all know what its like when we experience a full blown PA...its horrible. Do you take any medication to help you cope or are you receiving some counselling or CBT? What do you do for relaxation?

As for the brain damage...Im not 100% sure, but I have never heard of panic attacks and anxiety causing brain damage. The worst it does is prevents us living a happy normal life!

I hope I have helped you a little.

Take care

sadie

Meg
26-02-04, 21:01
No, this is not brain damage . It's far too many stress chamicals being released before the previous ones have dispersed. You will feel real again once they've gone.

Do you know why you started with panic initially ?

What has your doctor said and have you got anything to help stop the major panics returning and turning into status panicus?

The more extreme awful memories you notch up , the harder it will be to overcome this.
There are very effective reliefs available . They won't cure you but they will stop a panic attack going status - you do not have to go through the worst ones again and again.

You do have to work to learn to control the 'normal' ones and learn to scale them down from panic to anxiety.







Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

NOFEAR
26-02-04, 21:32
Thank you for kind and interesting words Sadie and Radar. I belive you when you say that panic attacks can not cause any brain damage, so I'll try to stop the worry of this.
The reason that I was thinking about some type of mind damage was that things seem very unreal to me (derealization) after that horrible panic attack that lasted six whole hours.
I've had some very hard times with lot's of personal problems lately so I guess that's what brought my panic disorder back to the surface again with a vengeance...

Right now I'm on xanax (a benzo) to treat my panic disorder and also I take imovane to sleep at night. It helps but not with the derealization part.



Let us stop the panic

sadie
26-02-04, 22:03
Hi Nofear,

Your Panic attaks wont ever truly go away if you dont try and address the emotional issues etc that keep them returning. I know this is easier said than done as I too am battling on with this, but I know its the only way!!

The medication you are taking should help calm your symptoms etc and help you feel better and then maybe you can try and deal with some of the issues which have resurfaced in your life.

Lots of people on this site have been helped a lot from CBT, maybe that is something you could discuss with your GP on your next check-up??

As for the derealization, It is just another symptom of anxiety and it too will eventually disappear through perserverance and patience. I have experienced this symptom only a couple of times and its been at night when I have tried to nod of to sleep. Eventually it went away, just like yours will.

Have a search around this forum as there has been other posts on depersonalization etc which may give you more help and support.

Take care and keep in touch.

sadie

NOFEAR
27-02-04, 08:15
Hi Sadie, yes the emtional issues that keep them returning is that I was in an environment where I did not feel safe. I felt unsecure all the time, borderline paranoid, not trusting anyone.
I've felt like I didn't belong most of my life, a feeling of being an outsider or sort of rebel.
This made me hang out with other outcasts but eventually I found out the hard way that I do not belong around these people at all.
I've had some really bad experiences, both real and imaginary....And then I decided to try accupuncture which triggered just another massive panic attack.

Basically I am so fragile now that I need to be around sane down to earth people.

In the past I have had some strange occult-religious beliefs which just fueled my fears and created some very irrational thinking.

What triggers my panic attacks is anything that is too much out of the safe and ordinary.
For example I can not hang out in certain bars and clubs because the people there scare me. I know some of them use drugs and that makes me very afraid just thinking about it.

Basically I tried being someone I'm not. I tried being this dark gothy rebel type of person which I'm not. I was just feeling so insecure around normal respectebal people. I was into art and who else could understand me than other artists ?

But all those cool artist people was just a flood of drugs and madness. It is not a place to be when one has anxiety issues.

I went in the wrong direction and I feel so lost like a little child. This world is so cold and empty.
I never had a place in this world...I feel like a stranger to everyone, including myself...

It's so hard to know what to believe, what to say, who to trust, feels like love is colder than death and that those who preach peace are the best at murder.

Let us stop the panic

diana
27-02-04, 20:58
WOW NOFEAR,

You have really been through quite alot. No wonder the anxiety/panic you are dealing with.

Thanks for being so open and free with your past. I know that is not easily done. As it seems to make us more vulnerable.

I`m not sure what to say either, but let me say this. You are not lost anymore, you are among friends and very caring, lovable people here. Trust that!!!!!!!!!!

The world is not so empty and cold as it seems, when we have unconditional caring and loving friends like we have here.

You have found your place in this sometimes cruel world right here. You are no longer a stranger. You have just joined the greatest group of folks in the world right here, and we are all joined together here from all over the world.

Believe in this site and the people here. Say whatever you feel like sharing. Trust us!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are not here to judge or make you do or be something you are not.

"Love is not colder than death". It is those we think love us and really do not have our best interest in mind. That lead one to have these feelings.

Once you have experienced the "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE" this site and the folks here have to offer. You will no longer believe that statement.

I am only sorry that someone/some people have left you with that idea of love. I am very confident that once you have felt the love and non judgemental advice and support the folks here offer. You will feel very differently about love.

This is my wish for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :).

You say you are an artist, What exactly is it that you do?

If you do not mind my saying, you sound to be very intelligent and very soulful. With these qualities you will surely be able to overcome this disorder.

Just keep trying to think positive thoughts, and take little steps you will make it :-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care,

Diana xxxxx :)

Meg
27-02-04, 23:35
Hey Jonny,

It's so brilliant that you have worked out so much about yourself. Where you don't fit, what it is that you need at this time.

You've really found your footpath - just need a sign or two to find the stile leading to it !

So 1 step at a time . Identify what is the first thing to change, amend or add to your life- and how you might take small steps to move towards it . If you're fragile take it slowly and assess and get comfortable with each step en route before taking the next.

You are safe within yourself. You are strong enough to have turned your back on a drug environment where many wouldn't have had that strength of mind - take comfort from that and move towards where your warmth lies.



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

NOFEAR
29-02-04, 22:16
Hi Diana (Scared)and Radar and thank you so much for kind words of encouragement. Yeah positive cognitive thinking patterns increases the levels of dopamine and serotonin in the brain so I have to change my negative thinking and will do so.
You seem like great people and I wish you all the best...

Let us stop the panic

glider
18-01-08, 04:33
This sounds extremely close to what I have.

I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder a few months ago, but long before that I started having these episodes, as I called them, that would last pretty much all day which were completely unbearable. Intense fear, existential anxiety, feeling spaced out, nausea, racing thoughts about every single "terrifying" thing that was going on in the world... plus this black pit of Hell sensation. It was literally every day for months strait. So eventually I got treatment with a psychiatrist, convinced that I had Schizophrenia or Depersonalization Disorder because "anxiety" couldn't be that bad. I was prescribed Prozac, which didn't do much, so then my psych. added on Seroquel which started to turn things around. As of writing this I'd say I am about 80% better, but it took a lot of time and med tweaking as well as therapy.

I can relate to a lot of what you talk about... like when you said that certain types of crowds scared you and how you felt fragile. I'm involved in art and such and I used to hang out with pretty self-destructive (artsy as I called them then) people and I started feeling almost exactly like you did in those situations.

So, my advice would be to find a good Psychiatrist (if you haven't yet) as well as a therapist to help you to recover. And remember that you are not alone and are not likely brain damaged, that you just have a mental illness that can be treated and from which people do recover. So hang in there and stay as positive as possible.

licquyd
06-02-08, 22:49
I've had a rolling panic attacks for 12 hours straight once.....Ran out of Benzo's to fix it and licquor to even just level me out.....

...I laid in bed, feeling of like dying, and since then, i taken 4 panic attacks a day for 6 months...i'm a mess...

Dominika
09-09-08, 09:52
NOFEAR:

First of all and for what it's worth, you are not alone. Status Panicus/Cluster Panic attacks are terrible, and while isolated, infrequent panic attacks can be self limited and "harmless".

Medical professionals advice that Cluster Attacks receive medical attention because of the stress it puts on both the endocrine and cardiac system. Not that you're going to die... but you wouldn't keep running 24/7 on a sprained ankle, right?

However, I don't practice what I preach. I basically have 24/7 panic attacks for weeks on end. The current one began on August 22, 2008 and ebbs and flows still as I write this. It even wakes me from sleep multiple times per night. I am also undergoing additional (annoying) diagnosis since my attacks are unresponsive to conventional (medication) therapy.

People who have experienced singular panic attacks which climax and subside in give/take 10 minutes have no idea of what you are going through. Trust me. I wouldn't have until I experienced it myself.

I am lucky to have an extreme support system and an entire team of awesome doctors so I have now been able to eradicate the mental/emotional symptoms of panic, but with these clusters, the physical agony is enough to drive anyone insane.

My neurologist (as panic attacks are much related to seizure activity in the brain), psychiatrist and rheumatologist have suggested an MRI and some other type of brain wave test since my "Status Panicus" is unresponsive to any medication including Klonopin. So they are now wondering ( I have normal panic attacks which are medication responsive) if there is some seizure activity.

I also have a minor minor minor and very common condition called Mitral Valve Prolapse so it is imperative to not let these clusters put my heart through the mill for weeks on end. But I have built a very fulfilling life and keep myself very busy, I am as ignoring their advise to be admitted to the hospital. Stupid, I know. I learned it from my father and now my father in law reinforces it.

The most important thing to remember in the moment is that you know what you are experiencing. You know what is causing these symptoms. And thinking it through has helped me tremendously. It is fascinating to me that this "fight, flight response" has stayed with the human genetic make up since our most primitive civilizations. Just think, if we flash backed in time to all those years ago, everyone on this page would be tribal leaders and advancing the species.

Anyway, Klonopin has worked well for me in the single, normal panic attack situation. I don't know if you have tried that for your Status Panicus or not..? If you have tried medications, and like me, they are completely unhelpful, you may wish to seek out the advise of a Neurologist. Panic attacks and seizures have many many over lapping symptoms. This again is NOT NOT NOT at ALL something to be afraid of. The type of seizure is not a grand mal incapacitating seizure. It is not located in that part of the brain. It can easily be controlled with anti- convulsent medication therapy. I take Topomax for that and it usually helps.

For all the panic suffers who happen to have read this far here is another comforting fact told to me directly by a very prominent MD here in Los Angeles. If you happen to be a menstruating female, the monthly cycle grants a sort of immunity against heart attacks. So women of child bearing age, who have not had a hysterectomy and still ovulate need not worry that they are experiencing a heart attack. Also: Heart attacks VERY RARELY, if ever, occur at rest or with mild exertion, so if you are just watching tv, surfing the net, walking around the house, sleeping and you wake up in panic knowing you are dying of a heart attack... probably you are really really not.

Knowledge is power, right?

Now for a little section I'll call "Psycho-Babble"

I think there are some terrible things that anyone can do to not get better. I've done some of these myself and watched them destroy others: whether you suffer from seizures, depression, PTSD, OCD, any medical/ mental ailment really...

They are:

Being inactive.
Becoming withdrawn and isolated.
Not being able to see and appreciate the goodness in and around you.
Not being able to appreciate all you have but perseverating on all you don't but think you should.
Needing to be perfect.
Holding grudges.
Being bored and not excising your mind.
Not challenging yourself just a little.
Not fighting for yourself and the life you want to live because no matter who you are it is your life and you deserve to live it to the fullest extent.
Letting this "thing" win.
Giving up.
Indulging in self pity.
Self medicating.
Believing you are "crazy".
Needing to believe you are "crazy".
Building an entire identity around being "crazy".
Not taking responsibility.
Not believing that you can change.
Not knowing your own strength.
Not listening to your own internal wisdom.
Thinking happy is outside... somewhere.
Happy holds hands with anger.
Living in extremes.
Worst of all, not listening and not trying and expecting everyone else to make it better.

That last one is me all over the place.

This is just my experience. It is not some gospel written in stone. I'm just some random girl who stopped in the middle of it all. Of all the drama and panic and crazy to just sit and think.

I hope I didn't offend any of you. And I hope at least one person, just one, hopefully NOFEAR, felt a little better after reading this.