Really struggling right now

[dodo]

Just typed a whole post and lost it, grrrr.

Went for my echo and treadmill last week and was told that the results were normal. I would wait for the official result which would be about a week. Not had them yet, but not to worry.

Anyway I was ok for the next day, almost boyant in the fact I could forget about any silly sensations and put them down to anxiety.

But the last few days have been a nightmare. I had a huge panic attack yesterday while out shopping when I felt ill. I had a bad stomach and had to rush to the toilet and then felt dizzy and shakey when I tried to stand back up.

I just can't seem to get my head around it all again. Every time I stand up I feel light headed and my chest feels heavy. Every time I go up the stairs I get racing heart and feel like I'm going to have skipped beats. Every time I pick my daughter up I feel like I'm going to have skipped beats and palpitations.

I just don't know what's going on if my results were normal what is all this?

I am due to see my psych again today and will of course mention this but I don't want my medication as I have had a bad time with it before and also the problems will still be there under the surface.

I keep thinking now, what if when I had the treadmill that they missed something while they weren't looking at the screen. At least two of the three of them were students so what if they don't know what they were seeing. And when they did an ECG at the beginning they said they saw blah blah but it was ok because there were big R waves. What does that mean for goodness sake.

Can you tell I'm getting myself sworked up by all this again? I really thought having the tests would put this to bed. The liklihood of there being soemthing wrong would be so minimal surely after these tests.

[little_girl_lost]

The results can be trusted hun, have faith.
For right now if I were you I would chill out until this afternoon.
Maybe watch a film that will pass alot of the time.
Do you have a film you always watch when your sick? Mines Pulp Fiction :)
Avoid all caffeine, coffee, chocolate, coke etc incase that makes your heart race. I know it does mine.
Make sure you eat some lunch aswell.
And then talk it through this afternoon. Im here all day if you wanna chat x

[dodo]

I find it so frustrating that when I've got my head round it another symptom comes along to worry about. I just want to be normal.

I don't have much chance of chilling lol, my daughter will make sure of that ;)

[little_girl_lost]

I just want to be normal.

what is normal though! I know im not :P

how old is your daughter?

[dodo]

She's one.

[randomworry]

yes dodo there is nothing wrong as the test showed please please try and believe it so u can move on. i wish i had tried harder when the doctor first checked me so i would not be in this awful mess i am in now!

[little_girl_lost]

She's one.


Yeah youre right, relaxing will be hard.

I know when I was a child my mother used the ol' whisky on the dummy trick.

Although I dont aggree with that at all.

Hopefully she'll wear herself out!

Hope your feeling better now x

[gallnimrod]

Hi dodo,
just wanted to say I really feel for you. Do you have a supportive partner/family?
Hope your visit to psych helps.
Out of curiosity, hope you don't mind me asking, how long have you had these problems? Has your psych tried CBT? My GP said its the treatment of choice for anxiety/panic.
I'm hanging onto the hope that when I eventually get my appointment, it helps.
I'm sure you can trust the tests you've had.
sending lots of good wishes, let us know how you are,:)
janexx

[blueangel]

One site I've been told about is Living Life to the Full, which is supposed to be an online CBT course. I'm going to give this a try, I think.

[anxiousmumof4]

Hiya, I have four kids so I can certainly give you tips!

I think we actually want there something to be wrong, in a silly way. At least if there was, we would know its not all in our heads. As much as we also totally dread anything being wrong. Its being stuck in a rock and a hard place.

CBT may help, it did me with PND though that is quite different to HA.

[dodo]

Thanks guys

Well my trip was a complete waste of time. There was a mix up and he didn't have my notes and all he did was look at the homework I did (which was putting down situations where I've been anxious and the feelings and thoughts I had) and then said he'd see me again in 6 weeks???? Wtf. I so fuming when I came out.

This is my second visit now and I have got absolutely nothing out of it so far.

He did say he's look into CBT (thought I'm sceptical he will given his disorganisation so far) thought there is a huge waiting list and apparently he has to write a case asking if I can have it.

I am so deflating after today and so angrfy into the bargain.

Luckily I am feeling better this afternoon but I am just so angry with the fact I need to keep telling these people what t do.

[little_girl_lost]

I know how hard these things can be. I am only at the beginning of the treatment journey.
But my sister has just spent 2 years getting diagnosed and properly treated for ME.
Its a constant battle and a struggle.
Even the people that should know what theyre doing, dont.
My sister got there in the end and so will we. but its going to require some nagging!
You really have to phone up every day.
I would get on the phone and say you cant wait 6 weeks. You need an appointment this week.
See what they say hun x