randomworry
10-08-10, 16:39
Never in my life did i think life would be so hard and especially through mental illness when i was growing up as a kid i literally did not stop smiling.
I think health fears have always been my biggest weakness though because whenever i failed a test, had relationship disputes any of those day to day problems i would always be grinning and had the thought at the back of my mind 'im healthy anyway thats the most important thing' i guess i have always placed an excessive importance on health.
dont get me wrong it is important but i think i see it as the be all and end all without perfect health, with the possibility of bad health life becomes a total wreck. i think i always placed tooooooooo much importance on it.
and now i have ended up a hypochondriac with my ocd and lack of self control to check making matters worse even when i know it may cause more problems i still check like a drug addict needing cocaine even though this might be the time it causes a massive heart attack.
health anxiety is a sick addiction and it has taken everything from me including friends that i dont keep in touch with because of my depressive state.
people on the street may loo at me and think oooh what a handsome young man im sure they do but they dont know the torment i go through daily and my obsessions, compulsions and fears that rule my life!
apparently between 1 and 3 per cent of the population has this problem anyway so im sure ive walked passed people who are in the same frame of mind but battle the fears daily.
i need some kind of plan i need some kind of relief im going to have to speak to my endocrinologist about my fears, check or not i honestly swear it will be my last obsessive check because i cant be eaten alive by my own mind anymore.:scared15:
then i must promise myself to stick to whatever my new therapist says no matter how hard no matter if i will die because of it because the risk of missing an illness is clearly a risk worth taking when you have hit the low i have today.
over and out folks:shades:
I think health fears have always been my biggest weakness though because whenever i failed a test, had relationship disputes any of those day to day problems i would always be grinning and had the thought at the back of my mind 'im healthy anyway thats the most important thing' i guess i have always placed an excessive importance on health.
dont get me wrong it is important but i think i see it as the be all and end all without perfect health, with the possibility of bad health life becomes a total wreck. i think i always placed tooooooooo much importance on it.
and now i have ended up a hypochondriac with my ocd and lack of self control to check making matters worse even when i know it may cause more problems i still check like a drug addict needing cocaine even though this might be the time it causes a massive heart attack.
health anxiety is a sick addiction and it has taken everything from me including friends that i dont keep in touch with because of my depressive state.
people on the street may loo at me and think oooh what a handsome young man im sure they do but they dont know the torment i go through daily and my obsessions, compulsions and fears that rule my life!
apparently between 1 and 3 per cent of the population has this problem anyway so im sure ive walked passed people who are in the same frame of mind but battle the fears daily.
i need some kind of plan i need some kind of relief im going to have to speak to my endocrinologist about my fears, check or not i honestly swear it will be my last obsessive check because i cant be eaten alive by my own mind anymore.:scared15:
then i must promise myself to stick to whatever my new therapist says no matter how hard no matter if i will die because of it because the risk of missing an illness is clearly a risk worth taking when you have hit the low i have today.
over and out folks:shades: