I don't think i can go on holiday......

[juliej]

I am so annoyed with myself. After Mum passed away three months ago I really thought I've got to get these pa's sorted , who knows whats round the corner. But its been such a stressful year with daily helping my Mum who was only 62 through the final stages of cancer.

As I said in previous posts I managed a family holiday to devon three weeks ago and did have a lovely time but I just feel trying to get on a plane to go to Spain is just one step too far. Its been 15 years and I feel like im jumping in the deep end instead of doing baby steps. My stress levels were obviously high anyway but I feel I just havent got the inner strength in me to do this. The past three days my anxiety is through the roof again, muscles in spasms , not eating, only getting about 4 hours sleep, endless rounds to the toilet. I just dont want to put myself through anymore at the mo , enough is enough:weep:

I know my husband will take the children on holiday and then I'll be left alone feeling dreadful for a week. This anxiety makes you feel such a failure ! Most things I can do its just holidays and being alone.

Thanks for listening :)


Julie xx

[Maj]

Hello Julie,
First of all I'm so sorry about your mum. It is very early days in the bereavement period for you and can't even imagine how you are feeling. You seem annoyed with yourself for feeling like this, but for goodness sake you've had such an awfully difficult time recently. A holiday sounds like what you could do with but you shouldn't have to be stressing about it, you've got enough to contend with at the moment. Why don't you ask the doctor for something to take in the lead up to going on the flight? Maybe knowing you have this will stop you worrying about the actual getting there. Once you are there you'd probably have a wonderful time and just being in the sun can make your mood change. I think you deserve a holiday because it's time to give yourself a wee bit of T.L.C. :hugs:

[Rachel_123]

so sorry about your mum :( i can't imagine what that must feel like.

my opinion is that you should go anyway, do it for your mum :D

[lizzie29]

I find going on holidays abroad really difficult too. It's so annoying knowing that so many people look forward to them, and in a way I do too, but I also worry about them! What I do is just think of all the good things I'm going to do when away. I take loads of things to entertain myself with, especially on the flight. You said you're gong for a week - well I always halve whatever my time scale is, cos then I aim for that which is halfway then I only have to do the same again and it's all downhill!

Just take it one day at a time too. Which will you regret the most? Not going, or going and feeling worried? The thought is always worse than actually doing it, if you're like me you'll be so worried beforehand but on the day you go you'll feel better cos it's here.

A few years ago I got my doctor to give me Diazepam to take on the way and way back and that really helped. And like I said, things to do - music, books, puzzles, etc. Also maybe write down some tips about panic attackes - how they can't hurt you, a list of positive affirmations, etc. :)

[tones27tga]

Wow Julie, do I know what you're going through. I lost my father 12 months ago to cancer (he was only 63) and it has really hit me in the last 2-3 months. My brother is getting married in Thailand in October and the thought of getting on the plane to get to Thailand has me really anxious. I'm a nervous flyer anyway and usually take diazepam to cope with it but my anxiety levels are at an all time high at the moment and I am praying that I will settle down between now and when we are meant to fly. Have you considered diazepam to help you fly? Are you on meds now?

[Anxious_gal]

I did a one hour plane journey and it went really fast! I did take a sedative.
the worst part is when you sit down and the doors close you will feel pretty trapped.
but once your in the air you should calm down again.
you may get a lovely trolley dolly too , they can't tell if your nervous and they can be very reassuring :-)
how long is the journey to Spain?