Night_Owl
11-08-10, 19:53
Hi
Been lurking a while and thought it was about time that I joined up after reading so many posts that I can relate to having been blighted by panic attacks for the past eighteen years of my life.
I can still remember this first time that I had an attack like it was yesterday,I was travelling home from work on the bus and it was the worst twenty or so minutes of my life and when exactly the same thing happened the next evening and again the next I knew I had a big problem so to avoid having yet another panic attack I started cycling the eight miles to work and from that day on I have been avoiding situations that could possibly bring on the attacks.
Life really has passed me by as anxiety and panic has virtually ruled my life 24/7 and I have lost many friendships and others havn't developed because of the fear of being in a situation that I could not control or escape from and after a while people stop inviting you to parties or out on day trips when you make excuse after excuse if only they knew and could understand.
Although anxiety and panic have controlled my life for such a long time I have been determined not to let it totally beat me.I have managed to continue working but it has been extremely difficult especially in my previous job which I loved but when it it started to involve attending meetings it became too much.
The lowest point was one afternoon when I had a severe attack in a meeting and ran out hid in the toilet for half an hour before going home home,that same evening there was a works pub night out and instead of being there enjoying myself with friends and colleagues I stayed at home and self harmed that really was the lowest of the low and though I havn't done it since I have come close a few times the most recently at the beginning of this year.
I wont bore you with any more I really could go on for pages.
I havn't really been able to discuss with anyone what I have been going through this site seems a good place to do so with people who will understand.
Regards.
Night_Owl
Been lurking a while and thought it was about time that I joined up after reading so many posts that I can relate to having been blighted by panic attacks for the past eighteen years of my life.
I can still remember this first time that I had an attack like it was yesterday,I was travelling home from work on the bus and it was the worst twenty or so minutes of my life and when exactly the same thing happened the next evening and again the next I knew I had a big problem so to avoid having yet another panic attack I started cycling the eight miles to work and from that day on I have been avoiding situations that could possibly bring on the attacks.
Life really has passed me by as anxiety and panic has virtually ruled my life 24/7 and I have lost many friendships and others havn't developed because of the fear of being in a situation that I could not control or escape from and after a while people stop inviting you to parties or out on day trips when you make excuse after excuse if only they knew and could understand.
Although anxiety and panic have controlled my life for such a long time I have been determined not to let it totally beat me.I have managed to continue working but it has been extremely difficult especially in my previous job which I loved but when it it started to involve attending meetings it became too much.
The lowest point was one afternoon when I had a severe attack in a meeting and ran out hid in the toilet for half an hour before going home home,that same evening there was a works pub night out and instead of being there enjoying myself with friends and colleagues I stayed at home and self harmed that really was the lowest of the low and though I havn't done it since I have come close a few times the most recently at the beginning of this year.
I wont bore you with any more I really could go on for pages.
I havn't really been able to discuss with anyone what I have been going through this site seems a good place to do so with people who will understand.
Regards.
Night_Owl