bananas13
17-08-10, 07:29
Here's my brief history... I went to college in another city in Fall 2008. I was fine the whole semester, until the last few weeks of the semester (I attribute it to a bad weed trip). I fell into depression and had a huge panic attack and checked myself into the hospital. I went home to my parents, and didn't get any better so I checked myself into another hospital psych ward for a week. I finally got on the right meds and moved back home with my parents. I got the right help and took a semester off of school, and I got better. I still got anxious at times, but overall I pulled myself together (got a full time job during the summer and went to community college for a year - Fall 09 to Spring 10).
ANYWAY, I transferred to a really good school - an hour away from home - and got into their Photography BFA program. I thought that I was going to be OK this time because I have a car to go home if I need to, and I'm on antidepressants and I have Xanax to take if I need it.
Well, I moved into my new apartment on Friday, and I had my first HUGE panic attack in 2 years last night at 3am. I felt out of control, my heart was pounding, I was sweating, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I took .5mg of Xanax and was able to calm myself down after about two hours, but now all I'm thinking about is "Oh great, here we go again... I'm never going to be able to live on my own!"
I guess I'm just not good at accepting change... I was SOOO mentally ready to move out again a week ago, and now that I did I've been so anxious. I guess I just have a fear of not being able to take care of myself and letting the panic control my life and send me into depression again.
I've been searching online for someone who's gone through college anxiety... like moving away from parents and panic attacks. I'm just scared.
Has anyone been through anything similar? Any advice to pull through and accept this big change? I just need someone to relate to.
ANYWAY, I transferred to a really good school - an hour away from home - and got into their Photography BFA program. I thought that I was going to be OK this time because I have a car to go home if I need to, and I'm on antidepressants and I have Xanax to take if I need it.
Well, I moved into my new apartment on Friday, and I had my first HUGE panic attack in 2 years last night at 3am. I felt out of control, my heart was pounding, I was sweating, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I took .5mg of Xanax and was able to calm myself down after about two hours, but now all I'm thinking about is "Oh great, here we go again... I'm never going to be able to live on my own!"
I guess I'm just not good at accepting change... I was SOOO mentally ready to move out again a week ago, and now that I did I've been so anxious. I guess I just have a fear of not being able to take care of myself and letting the panic control my life and send me into depression again.
I've been searching online for someone who's gone through college anxiety... like moving away from parents and panic attacks. I'm just scared.
Has anyone been through anything similar? Any advice to pull through and accept this big change? I just need someone to relate to.