I failed!

[jollywalrus]

Hi Everyone,
I haven't posted for quite some time because some of you may remember, in an attempt to join the real world, I got myself a job in the summer. I would like to tell you all it has been great and I'm cured and life is just peachy, but the truth is I had to give up the job because I did not have the confidence to do it, and over the last few weeks my world has really been closing in again.

What a comfort this forum is to me and if anyone has any words of advice, they would be very welcome.

Thanks,
Christine

[pauline]

Hi Christine

I hate that word failed you have not failed you are just taking a break and will pick yourself up and try again. At least you tried and that is all that matters right now. Don't keep kicking yourself it's not worth it and your only hurting yourself.

Take care

Pauline

[Piglet]

You most certainly have not failed - no one is ever a failure for trying!!!

This wasn't quite you, so now you start to have another plan :D:D:D

My life is a constant Plan A, Plan B and so on and so on. When I get to the end of the alphabet with my plans I simply go round again.

Being adaptable I think is a great assest and means you get to try lots of things.

What would you like to do hun if anxiety wasnt a problem????

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Alexandra]

Hi Christine

Hun you have not failed ( i do'nt like that word either ) Maybe you just were'nt ready at the time but you certainly have'nt failed.

There will come another time when you will be able to conquer this & conquer you will hun.

There is plenty of support here for you.

Never give up hope ' Where there is a will there is a way'

Stay strong & positve & you will get there.

Take Care

Sending lots of hugs

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[trac67]

Hi Christine,

You definately haven't failed mate, you gave it a go, and that takes a lot of courage. Look at it this way, maybe you just tried it to soon, and like the saying goes 'if at first you don't succeed, try, try again'.

Stay positive mate, and give it another shot when your up to it, maybe starting by working part-time, don't give up though as you will get there.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[bluesparkle]

hi
just to repeat what the others have said... you have not failed!!! no way ... you went and tried and thats what matters... if you werent ready then thats just the way it is... in some ways its good you recognised this and didnt push yourself to the limits...
i have done this many times with jobs etc... and usually only ever got as far as applying but you actually went and gave it a go which is great...
the time will be right and you will know when it is... like the others have said maybe just take a little step with some part time work or some volentary work...

but please do not use that word... you have not failed ...you are doing ok.. hang on in there it will get better
take care
rach

[nomorepanic]

Christine

To fail is to not try and you certainly tried.

You say that you didn't have the confidence to do it - what do you mean by that? Do you mean you felt you couldn't do the job as it was too difficult or the panic/anxiety was too much to cope with?

Nicola

[Trev]

Christine, just would say the same as Nic really. You have not failed becasue you gave it a try. Failure is not even trying.

I would look at the whole experience and see what you can pick out of it that is positive. You must have made some in-roads and gained some confidence along the way. Focus on all the good stuff you achieved and use that as a platform to tackle the next task. Write it down and really use it.

Cheers,
Trev :D

[Karen]

Hi Christine

Just wanted to echo what others have said really. Trying is not being failing. You had the courage to go for it and all any of us can do is give it our best shot.

Perhaps you could go back to basics and aim to stop where you are now and work out how to start moving forward again. What is the very first step you could take now?

Regarding the work situation, have you considered doing some voluntary work for an hour or two a week to help build your confidence?

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[jollywalrus]

Hi All,

Thank you for your lovely replies. I think the problem was two-fold. First of all the computer system didn't seem to do the same thing twice and I always felt I was quite good on the computer. Secondly, times don't seem to have changed for the better. There was a woman there who took delight in humilating me in front of as many people as she could. There would have been a time when I would have told her where to get off, but those moments don't come to me now.
I was fine with the train journey, the subway and the customers, but my husband could see me going downhill in a big way and although I tried to hide it, I felt completely floored.
For a moment there I had glimpses of how I used to be, but it just seems out of my grasp again.
I'm on to plan c now..........give up!!!
Love C x

[sal]

Christine sorry to read your post. If i can help at all i will pm me and we will have a chat.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[Trev]

People who try to humiliate others in front of people are just covering up for their own inadequacies. It's a way of diverting attention away from their own shortcomings. It's easy to pick on someone who is down but it is the tactic of a pathetic person.
From what I can see you achieved a great deal in getting yourself back into the workplace. It takes a good deal of charachter to do what you have done.

How about you try a different type of work or try something part time to start with?

Sometimes, when we have a goal to achieve it works better when we break the steps down to achieve that goal. Rememeber, small steps build up to big steps. Gain your confidence gradually and slowly build it up to what it was. Remember, lots of small steps = one big step.

Plan C is not an option at NMP!!! :D

Pick yourself up and try to find something you can enjoy doing.

Cheers,
Trev

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Christine !


I think the fact that you have tried so hard is a positive it means you did it, hence not a failing but a set back and we all have those.

You have come back to get some support and thats a great thing. You have recognised that you needed the additional help and no one ever fails asking for help mate


Take care

sue with 5

scknight