feeling down again

[mumof4]

As most of you know on here i have been doing really well the past year havent had much problems.

back last september me and my partner bought our first house which at the time it felt right thing to do but me and my partner have been having alot of fights and i just dont know what to do,

last week i walked out leaving my kids there and stayed at his sisters and i vowed i wasnt going bk to him but i knwo this might aound cruel to some people on here but i was going to leave my kids with him not because i dont love my kids i do with all my heart but i didnt want to up root them out of a lovely house to go nowhere and i thought that leaving them would be best,

but when i came bk that moring he told me he would change and i decided to give him one more chance.

but i feel like im doing the wrong thing and that i dont want to be with him i feel that im not in love with him anymore but i just dont know what to do i feel like i have no where to turn.

i have been together with him for 9 years and i know deep down he wont change but i dont know where to go or what to do.

because i have been feeling like this i feel alot of anxiety now and my eating has been affected i never seem to feel hungry and i cant aford to lose anymore weight im already 7stone 13lbs.

i just dont know what to do.

[Lozzie]

Hi Taylor xx

First of all moving in with a partner can be a very hard and shows there true colours.
I myself have moved in with my fiance and it made me realise his annoying habits and things he does that just wind me up.

It is a part of living with each other and it can make or break a relationship, personally I went through a stage of constant arguing with my partner and I thought it was the end but I realised it was just because we were winding each other up and I know that deep down I love him and he loves me.

You have to go with your heart, if you really want to give it another go then just see what happens.
Remember this just could be a little bad patch your going through.

Hope all works out well x
laurax

[mumof4]

tks for ur replys i know where u are coming from but we have lived together for 8 years but i have been feeling like this for a while i did tell him that i didnt want to buy a house with him cause of they way i felt but he told me i was selfish and didnt put my kids first and move out of the bad area we lived in to move to a better one so i did but knowing deep down that i didnt want to.


i feel traped and there is no where out for me.

[nomorepanic]

I guess you need to take a long hard look at your life and what you want and how you feel about him.

Don't hold back on your life waiting for him to change - you must move forward for you as well.

Hope things work out.

Nicola

[sal]

Feel for you so much hun. Not knowing whether you are doing the right thing or not and you are probably only doing it for the sake of your kids. Think about your happiness. I couldnt cope and Sam went to her dad for a month as i could not stand that pressure so i failed her and the guilt killed me but i could not change how i felt.

We all protect our children but when they are older and have lifes of their own will you want them to stay at home to protect you when they want to move on. Its a short term decision for you but in the long run for you and your kids its a long term decision. If you arent happy dont stay, but that is only my opinion from what i went through. You will always love your children and they will always love you regardless of what decision you make, so make it for you please.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[mumof4]

tks sal for the reply it made alot of sense to me, i am giving it one more chance just to c if he can change then if not then i will go,

i know leaving the kids will be the best thing to do he is a good dad to them and belive it or not they behave for him and not for me.

i know he will look after them and its not if im never going to c then again.

i will just take it day by day and c how we get on.

once agian tks.

[Jason37]

Hi Taylor. Although my situation isn't like yours in many ways, I just wanted to say, don't underestimate how much your kids love you and need you. I know this may not be the easiest thing to hear right now. The fact that you perceive they don't behave as well for you as for your partner doesn't mean they love or need you any less than him.
I've had to realise the hard way how much me and my kids mean to each other, over the last few months since their mother started a relationship with someone else and ended our marriage.
For the kids' sake and your own, try and talk your way to a solution that (in time, perhaps) doesn't involve you 'leaving' them as such, and a solution that you can present to them not as you leaving, but as you and your partner sharing their care. I don't know what this solution will look like for you, but it ought to be worth trying for. I think I would feel better for doing that, I know each person and situation is unique, but I bet they love you loads, and need you too. Very good luck Taylor, I feel for your situation and hope it improves, I really do.
Jason

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Taylor !

as some of the others have said this is a difficult time for you and the decisions you have to face are very hard honey ! You have made a very big step in moving forward and the relationship is obviously at a very stage which you need to decide is either worth salvaging or you need to move on, your children for the time being will be fine, as long as you tell them how much you love them you will never lose their love and respect. Dont be forced into doing something you dont want to do.

Take good care for now and take one step at a time


Sue with 5

scknight

[sal]

Hi Taylor

Thinking about you hun and no how hard this is for you.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".