Obsessing over your anxiety

[DavidJ85]

Does anyone else find themselves obsessing over it which thusly makes it worse?

I find I think about mine from the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep and I can't seem to stop myself and feel like it's even happening subconciously?

Also does anyone else get the weird fear? Like fear of everything, even knowing you really don't fear it? It's like there's 2 brains in you head. 1 rational and 1 totally irrational and they fight.

It's horrible! :scared15::weep:

[GlasgowGuy]

I'm with you on that one mate. Is a word for it I can't mind(starts with an a I think) where you constantly worry and can't get it out your head. I suffer from same big time and feel nights are bad because I've been thinking about it all day or been at back of my mind.

I can be doing something relaxing like playing the games console or going online and just feel the tension there.

[uk23]

1 rational and 1 totally irrational and they fight.

Wow, that is a perfect way of putting it! I feel like that most of the time, I will make something seem rational but then my 'other brain' will say "You are just saying thats rational so you dont have to ....."

You get that as well?

[DavidJ85]

Yep totally. The other day I was walking around my local supermarket, and I saw the shop attendant look at me and I felt scared. Now I'm NOT that sort of person by any means, not afraid of much at all but my stupid irrational anxious side got the better of me.

Then for the remainder of the night I continued to dwell on it which made it worse.

Do you or anyone else find you fear things that you know are totally safe and not even remotely frightening?

[Night_Owl]

Similar thing with me thinking about anxiety day and night even in a relaxed sitution like at home reading or watching tv its always there even if just subconsciously.

[nrowe2]

I'm absoutly the same... I fear literally anything..If its sunny "OMG its sunny and my eyes are sensitive"

For the past two months... Thats all ive been doing... It's driving me crazyyyyy!! How does this come on so quick..So scared Its gonna get worse OR it just won't go??

I know how irrational the fear is..So why is it so frightening??
Argh lol

Nat xxx

[GlasgowGuy]

With me it just seems there constantly. Very tuned into it. Try n relax at night with the games console or reading and just feel it there underlying. gggrrr

[Desprate Dan]

I feel since i got told i suffer from anxiety i am always looking for it, i just cant help myself, i tune into it, once i never knew what it was but now i know i find i cant free myself from it, because now i am aware its there with me all the time, and i find myself thinking is it really anxiety or am i just imagening the whole thing... I find listening to music helps, been listening to Jack Johnson at the moment, he has a relaxing laid back voice, which helps me to chill and stop worrying myself about silly things..

DD

[nrowe2]

I'm the same Dan... I was fine until got my double vision...Then became anxious....It has totally totally consumed me!

I've been like a complete nervous wreck for 2 months.. Scaring myself that this problem won't get any better..That I'm making myself mad..Thinking about being anxious!!!

Atleast there are people going through it tooo... I read so many posts on here that I can 100% identify with..

I always think my problems and symptoms are unique which keeps my anxiety levels soaring!

Nat xx

[GlasgowGuy]

As I've said in past I wish none of us had these 'anxiety/depressive' episodes but knowing there are others out there suffering the same it's some kinda comfort.

[Bill]

I was watching a film about King Arthur tonight and there was a scene I could connect with even it was rather amusing to watch.

I know it's only a film but the scene went along the lines of Merlin and Arthur being in the woods at night and Arthur couldn't sleep because everything around him was keeping him awake. Merlin then asked Arthur what he was afraid of and Arthur replied "Everything!"

Merlin then said something like this although I've shortened it!... "You are feeling the dragons breath, he is all around us...relax in the comfort of his arms and go to sleep!"

What I connected it with is the theory that feeling fear is just a part of life. It's natural and all around us so if we can accept it as such we can then relax in the comfort of his arms because we stop focusing it by not fighting against every anxious feeling because they're just symptoms created by the dragon breathing within us when we feel afraid.:hugs:

[Desprate Dan]

Hey Bill, you have such a good understanding and a way to get things across, i wish i had the same qaulities.. Why is life so complicated, i am so tired of looking for my purpose in life, because i feel so empty and lost without a purpose, and just purely survival doesnt seem a good enough reason at times... The dragon is me i fear myself and my thoughts, i need a focal point somthing to distract me from searching for answer's to questions to which there is no answers to. Thanks

[GlasgowGuy]

Really good point Bill, cheers. As the previous post says you got a good way with words. Lol don't want your head inflating but more people like yourself is a great thing when trying to describe how you feel.

[Bill]

Dan,

Try to find things that you enjoy in life because life feels much simpler then as you don't then think about all the things that trouble you. Even simple things can help like trying a new drink at night. If you find something new you really enjoy, you then start thinking about looking forward to that moment when you can sit back and relax while sipping it. It doesn't need major things. Just lots of little simple enjoyable things to keep the mind satisfied. I find a jigsaw puzzle helps me. Once you start one, you then start thinking about getting on and finishing it. Just like any puzzle really. Making things are just as effective and very relaxing. Model kits or for the ladies especially, knitting things etc. We all need pastimes to make us want to get up in the mornings to look forward to for when we get home after work.

Glasgowguy,

"Maybe" I can find some words but I'm not sure they can really be of comfort when someone is trembling like a leaf and feeling sick with worry but I thought it might at least be worth sharing for interest sake.

I think it would take a hell of alot before I could start thinking of being inflated as I always think of myself in the total opposite. There are Much more worthy people on here than me like you and Dan to name but two.:winks:

[GlasgowGuy]

Your words are good mate.

I'm just going through hell just now and just a battle to see each day through. Need at least another 4-6 weeks on this citalopram to hopefully start seeing some benefits.

Is worthwhile coming on here as you always know there is someone else in same boat and can put a different light on things(yikes cliche city again lol)

[Desprate Dan]

Hey Bill, You are so worthy, you have supported and helped so many people through some difficult times in their life, and all the time somehow managing to get by and cope with your own troubles which i know you have. Your kind heart and caring soul hasn't gone unnoticed. Do you still do your poems Bill? You remember the one about the lonely leaf all alone hanging by a single thread blowing in the wind, so worried about falling, but there was no need for that leaf to worrie, because the 1000's of leaves that fell before him were all waiting to cushion his fall and to comfort him, that is my favourite and reminds me of all the caring people on NMP. Thanks DD.

[GlasgowGuy]

Sounds a good poem and be good to read/hear more.

[flippa]

I am new to all this and can't believe how there are so many people feeling the same.
Nat summed it up for me - where did this all come from.
It feels like I should be able to turn it off as quickly as it seemed to arrive!!
I too think about it every waking moment. Not much joy in life at the moment! x

[GlasgowGuy]

I am new to all this and can't believe how there are so many people feeling the same.
Nat summed it up for me - where did this all come from.
It feels like I should be able to turn it off as quickly as it seemed to arrive!!
I too think about it every waking moment. Not much joy in life at the moment! x

Welcome flippa. Yeah is some kinda comfort that we aint alone in all this. Sometimes it helps sometimes it don't but knowing this website is here can help in situations.

Welcome and hope you get better soon.

[flippa]

Thanks Glasgow Guy - I am already feeling great support in this site x

[GlasgowGuy]

Thanks Glasgow Guy - I am already feeling great support in this site x

Sweet. Always someone here to give their opinion pal.

[Desprate Dan]

So many kind caring people on NMP. But i am not in a good place at present, i can't see any enjoyment in life, from the moment i wake i think about going back to sleep, and i am loseing faith fast that i will ever feel enthusiastic or enjoyment again, thats were NMP is great that bit of comfort in your darkest hours. Take care.

[flippa]

Hi Desperate Dan - I am in that bad place too. No enjoyment and feeling unable to do anything, even ordinary normal things. I guess thats why we are on here - not getting on with our lives.
Comforting to know we are all in this together but hope we are all well again very soon. xx

[Bill]

You've got a good memory Dan!:winks: That was nearly a year ago! I had to try and find it myself! I'm not sure you could call it a true poem though. I wrote it after I was taking my dog for a walk last September. I lost him at the beginning of December. Feels hard to believe how fast time goes by which is rather like the youtube song that followed my post. This was it....

I took the dog out this evening for his usual walk and as I stood by the trees, I looked up to see the changing colours of the leaves when suddenly I noticed a leaf hanging in mid-air by its stem as if in suspended animation.

As I watched, the leaf twisted and turned with the breeze in ever quickening spinning circles without ever moving anywhere. I then noticed it was hanging by an almost invisible spiders thread which appeared too weak so I was expecting this lonely leaf to fall at any moment.

It was trapped yet being pushed so hard by the breeze with only the tiniest of threads to hold on to which at some point I knew would break sending it crashing to oblivion with the thousands of other leaves already trampled on the ground...........and then I suddenly thought........

........I was watching "me".:hugs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcRGBjyAOok

I think sometimes anxiety can absorb us so much that it blocks out everything that exists around us. If you imagine looking at yourself then gradually move away, you then see a group of people of whom we are one. Move further away and you see thousands of people within which we are just a dot. Move even further away and you would see the world as big as it is but if then you travelled to the edge of the universe, even the world would appear tiny in comparison to the millions of stars and the endless void of space...within which our worries would be seem insignificant in comparison.

That isn't meant to sound as if I'm meaning to trivialise what we feel though. Just that sometimes if we put things into perspective against life and all around us, it can sometimes help to make us think what exactly are we worrying about when life begins and ends all the time because that's just what living means.

I think sometimes we need to try and find enjoyment in today by forgetting tomorrow no matter how difficult enjoyment eludes us. Sometimes we just have to go looking for it regardless of how anxious we feel otherwise it will never find us.

I wrote something to myself that I find helps...

"Don't worry about your feelings or symptoms unless they persist after you've stopped worrying about them because you may well find then that you won't have any feelings or symptoms to worry about."

When I feel anxious and get low, I try to focus my mind on thinking what do I need to feel happier and then when I've answered my own question, I go out and try to find it no matter how anxious I feel or how long it takes to find because life is supposed to be enjoyed and not just mean daily stress, working and worrying.

The other thing I try to do is look around me. Look at the birds who worry about nothing. All they think about is survival. I look at the flowers and think to myself how incredible that they even exist with such beauty.

I saw a programme the other day about a plant that has a flower that mimics an insect to make the insect think it's mating with one of its kind so that the plant can be pollinated and then I thought, how can a plant that's supposed to have no scentience think to create such a deception to one particular insect among so many? And then I thought maybe it didn't think about it, it was created to be like it. Evolution? Or some greater influence? Even evolution must have been created.

Whatever the reason, all I'm really trying to say is that I feel there has to be more to just existing and surviving, and we should Try to make the most of it by reminding ourselves of all the natural beauty around us that we take for granted because all we can see are our own anxieties about living. We should really try and force ourselves to find what we need to enjoy life while we have been given it because otherwise we later live with regrets. I Do realise it's difficult though when fear consumes us but try to remember that fear has no bite. It's power is in the illusion it creates within us.

Anyway, one poem you might like...



Look for the wonder and beauty in life



Look for the wonder and beauty in life,
The golden sunrise that greets a new day after the long dark night,
The glittering frost that sparkles in the bright morning light,
Under clear blue skies with birds singing happy to be alive,
In trees full of autumn leaves filled with reds and golden delight,

To feel the warmth of the sun giving life to a new day,
Bringing hope of spring when newborns will run and play,
When once again delicate blossoms open in the strong suns rays,
Followed by summers roses with their beauty to be admired upon peoples gazes,

With each pristine petal gently fluttering in the breeze,
Attracting beautiful butterflies and busy honeybees,
In each wondrous flower that opens living and free,
Emitting sweet scents that make us glad to be,

Look for the wonder and beauty in life,
Beyond our daily worries, fears and strife,
Of luscious ladies in their long flowing gowns,
That attract admiring princes without making a sound,

Of distant twinkling stars that can be seen in peoples eyes,
That mesmerise and transfix, that comfort and pacify,
Of birds gliding gracefully in the deep blue sky.
To the sea where waves gently lap at the seaside,

Look for the wonders of nature all around us,
And not at the crowds upon the bus!
Look for the beauty that surrounds.
In wildlife and flowers that abound,
Look for the miracle in all of us,
That we are alive to support others.:hugs:...............

..........Just as you Dan and others did for me when I wrote about "the leaf" nearly a year ago.:)

[Desprate Dan]

Wow Bill you sure do have away of understanding a true gift you have of being able to put your thoughts and feelings down into words to comfort other's.. I can see the good in people and in life itself, but i am blind to see any good in myself because i allow myself to be trapped, consumed by anxiety and thats all i am feeling, my life is already filled with so many regrets already.. I know nothings going to suddenly change, its me and my way of thinking which needs to change or i will caught in this trap forever.. Thanks DD

[GlasgowGuy]

Nice one Bill.