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sarah_85
23-08-10, 11:34
Hi all,
had my first couselling session this morning and to be honest i'm a bit upset and disappointed.
Basically I'm 24 and in my final year of training to be a midwife. Just out of the blue I have started having panic attacks (3 full on attacks so far) and constant low grade anxiety for the last 2 weeks. It's making me feel like I am losing my mind. Nothing around me looks or feels the same as it used to a few weeks ago and the weirdest thing is that I thought I was fine, just was enjoying life, going to work, being with friends and now I feel like it's been taken away from me. I have good periods and bad periods, sometime I almost feel like normal and other times I'm completely detached, anxious, nervous and my mind just races, am just terrified.:wacko:. I also experience random pains in my chest which seems to move around. The first night I had a panic attack I had no idea what was going on, I thought I was dying and went to A&E. They ran lots of tests and I am physically well, but I still seem to sometimes be convinced I'm dying.
So that's a bit of background but in a nut shell i just feel constantly anxious and i just don't know why.
I went to see a counsellor, through the counselling service at my university, which seems well organised and thought out. i have also been referred for counselling from the mental health team through my GP, but this may take time so i'm doing this in the mean time to try and be proactive.
but i felt so fobbed off by the counsellor. i didn't expect her to solve my anxiety or make it all go away but she basically told me that im just making it worse but feeling anxious about being anxious. well obviously i am anxious about being anxious but where is it coming from? i now just feel like it's all my own fault, that i'm bringing it on myself and that if i want it to stop i have to do it myself and i just don't know how. i really don't. i try to rationalise my symptoms and i am trying to distract myself by doing things but i just feel so deflated that she basically told me i was causing it myself. if i am im not doing in consciously, really i'm not. just feel really confused now.
does anyone else have experience of counselling? i just wonder if maybe this lady has seen too many soppy students who are just a bit wound up before an exam, but i feel like what's happening to me is so much more than that and i just wanna be taken seriously. i wonder if the counselling with the mental health team might be more useful to me. i dunno, im just so new to all this and i want to do the right thing so i can get my life back.
sorry for the huge ramble, any help would be much appreciated. xxx :shrug:

MidnightCalm
23-08-10, 12:44
Sure I already replied :S

sarah_85
23-08-10, 13:01
haha, wasn't sure where was best to post! gotta love copy and paste :D

andrew
26-08-10, 00:07
Hi Sarah,

Ive seen a few counsellors and I'd rate them from very good to very bad. Its just one of those things where you dont really know what you're gonna get until you are sitting there. Dont let this experience put you off of talking therapies.

Getting anxious about being anxious is called anticipationary anxiety, its a very common issue for anxiety suffers. As you learn to recognise it happening to you, hopefully you'll learn to win the internal argument that they are only anxious thoughts and that they cant harm you and reassure yourself that you'll be ok. Then it will no longer be an issue for you.

Take care

trooper
27-08-10, 09:27
Any couselling and therapy takes time, the first session should really be a get to know you session.

I would see him/her again and ask them how they treat anxiety, what is the process.

What specifically did she say to fob you off?

Bare in mind that when you're very anxious, its very easy to miss interpret others intentions.

Most counselors, even the bad ones are generally well intentioned, you don't normally choose that field because you're an ass who likes making miserable people feel even worse.

To a degree we do all cause our own issues, its our brain, its our emotional chemistry, and it is up to us to take responsibility for it. That is not blame, or shame. Its responsibility.

You are taking responsibility for yourself by seeing a doctor and a counsellor, its normal to feel guilt and even shame, but just don't listen to those thoughts. Focus on what you can do to change it.

It might be worth going back to that counsellor and explaining that in the last session you felt you weren't being taken serious and that his/her words made you feel the way you felt and come away with the thoughts about yourself you describe and see how they respond to that.

If you're not happy with their response, find another.

In the meantime, anxiety is part of the fight or flight mechnism, its about running away from predators. A sure fire way to reduce some of those chemicals is hardcore excersise. Go for a run, swim or ride a bike. Really get your heart going and you'll be amazed how much of that anxiety subsides. Its mostly adrenalin.