I think I'm on the verge of another breakdown!

[Mackie]

I really need some help here!

Everything is building up right now and I dont know if I can handle it all.

First of all my parents are splitting up after 23 years of marriage and my dad is now on sleeping pills and anit-depressants and my mam is staying at my Auntie's, I feel like an outsider in my dad's side of the family and have done my whole life. I'm constantly worrying about my health, in paticular my sexual health. And to top it all off I cant get through to my girlfriend/friend with benefits (kind of situation), she said she'd be in Norfolk for a few days so it may just be no signal but my anxiety is really starting to take its toll on me this time and conjur up scenarios making me think that she's blocked me out of her life like every other girl I've met. I've been sat in the house for god knows how long and I havnt got many close friends in my area.

Somebody please help me out!

[Under~The~Stars]

Hey Mackie,

I'm really sorry things are feeling out of control just now. I understand how you feel. I'm having problems at home just now too.

My only advice is to sit down and talk to your mum and dad about how this is affecting you. Are you seeing anyone for some support at the moment? I know you mentioned your girlfriend isn't around just now. Do you have any friends you could talk to? Keep talking to us here :)

Things will get better. Your life is going through a change at the moment, and that can be hard. But it can also bring good things too.

Try and make some time for you. Do things that you enjoy. Things that make you smile. Can even be something like putting your favourite dvd on? :)

And think about getting yourself some support... Speak to your GP, if you haven't already.

Take care of you :hugs:

[Mackie]

Hey, thanks for taking the time to help out :)

My parents have an idea on what I'm going through, they know that I sometimes feel the need to get out of the house and everything.

I have a really close friend who I can talk to about my worries and we arrange regular meetings.

The situation with the girl I'm seeing is a bit complicated at the moment, we're not sure if its a relationship or just a casual romance thing, she lives near cambridge which is a far cry from where I live and I havnt been able to get hold of her on her phone and I'm starting to worry if its going to be another situation where I just get forgotten about and rejected :(

[tag]

Hello mate - I'm really sorry to hear about your situation - not nice.

It does sound though that you're very fortunate to have someone to confide in & I'd heartily recommend that you keep up the regular meetings with your friend as they sound like a huge help.

Having a structure in your life (ie, getting together regularly with your friend) is something you most likely need at the moment when everything else is out of whack.

Feeling lonely and disconnected is one of the worst parts of anxiety I've always found & having someone to connect with & confide in is a Godsend.

Plus, as Under The Stars has said so eloquently - keep talking to people on here, it's a fantastic resource and maybe think about having a chat to your doctor to see if they might be able to help you out too.

This will pass - things always do. It's probably incredibly difficult to believe that right now but it's true.

All the best & look after yourself.

[Under~The~Stars]

Hey Mackie :)

I agree with tag :) Keep seeing and talking to your friend. Having someone to talk to is a great help. Just to know someone cares.

You mentioned the girl is in Norfolk for a few days? Like you say, she maybe just has no signal, or hasn't got around to replying yet? I know there's times where I've not contacted my friends, because I want to give them the time and energy they deserve, and haven't felt able to at that moment in time? She's maybe the same? I'm sure if you mean something to her, she'll get in touch :) Just you concentrate on feeling better for now.

:hugs:

[chai]

when i feel like the world is just too much...
i look at it like this:
we have one life, and its short.
or i can spend it stressing and worrying and ruining it.. or i can try ( i know its hard) look at it like...this is my life. i can do whatever i want with it. i can make whatever i want happen. I am in CONTROL... take control of your life! its yours... go for it!! don't hang about for the girl you don't know whats going on with anyway. or go find out and know for once and for all.. or move on. talk to your parents; voice your feelings because this is your life and you have every right to say what you want to say. and start living the life you want and deserve... i know its hard. but really.. whats stopping you? only you are stopping you... nobody else. you are in control of your life.
thats what i tell myself everyday and its a work in progress to believe it.
thats my two cents
xxx

[Mackie]

I got a text from the girl I'm seeing today, turned out she just lost her phone for a few days, its made me feel a bit better. And thanks for all the different bits of advice, it means a lot to me :)

It seems that I alternate different worries in an attempt to cope with them all at once. For instance, one minuite I'll be worrying about my family and the next my health will be my concern (like I said previously its mainly my sexual health). Has anyone else been through (or going through) a smilar pattern of worry?

[chai]

sexual health is definitely one that can be solved... if that is your main concern then get checks and once you see you are healthy.. just have safe sex! voila... problem solved.
:D

[Mackie]

I always use a condom anyway, its just that the thought of having an STI scares the hell out of me, that fear was one of the first things that triggered my anxiety in the first place. I blame all those school slide shows of the worst case scenarios lol

[j2]

I know how stressful it is to be alone and how horrible it is when parents divorce. Mine split after 28 years. Not sure what was so bad that my mom left but it sent my dad into a depression that I am sure hastened his death. All I can say is that I am also walking that line between holding it together and completely falling apart. I feel vulnerable, weak and ashamed and I wish I could find peace for my nerves. I sincerely hope that you can find some tranquility in knowing that so many people here understand and wish you well. For me it is hard to make many freinds because I am always so wrapped up in myself and my family and as a guy, we just don't seem to be that good at having friends. Anyway, please know that we care and are here for you whenever you need us. If you want to talk, about anything, PM me and I will responad ASAP. Take care.

J2

[lis1981]

you know whats worse how we all get so un earthed , upset and broken by things out of our controll. my parents have drink problems, i was knocked about as a kid and i never realy understood why my parents would go to such lengths to ruin things around me. I aventualy found that none of it was my fault , even though ive carried the burden for years. But DO get out, see ur mates, as for ur girlfriend take control and of she doesnt want to know then let go and start again my friend, life is to short to chase people about, start livin for you!!! dont get wrapped up in the stuff we cant controll. Easy for me to say lol. if i could only take my own advice!!

[Mackie]

thanks for the advice Lis. I know how you feel about not taking one's own advice, I keep telling myself its just the anxiety talking but I always end up disragarding my own advice.

And thanks for the line J2, my parents have been together for about 23 years and its a similar situation with my dad, its hit him harder than I thought, yesterday his hands were shaking uncontrollably and he'd just burst out into tears, he's been on sleeping pills and anti-depressants for the last few days but I'm starting to get worried about him. I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Thanks to everyone for being here for me :)

[Under~The~Stars]

Hey Mackie :)

I'm glad you heard from the girl :) See, nothing to worry about :hugs:

I can relate to worrying about different things from one minute to the next... It can get really exhausting. Just make sure you do things each day that you enjoy. It will get easier.

:hugs:

[Anxious_gal]

sometimes I think worrying is a way of not dealing with things.
you waste a lot of time worrying rather than doing some thing productive.
I do it too much too, also when you worry you can get carried away, with your imagination and make up all kinda of horrible scenarios!

see your friend was ok in the end! :-)
sorry to hear about your parents, sounds like it's very stressful and overwhelming for you.

[Mackie]

Aye true, I'll get to the point where crazy scenarios pop up in my head and I cant shake them off.

On the plus side, my dad seems to be ok but I'm still a bit concerned about him, he's the type to bottle things up, but all seems stable for now