tag
25-08-10, 13:41
Hiya,
Just signed up as I'm really starting to despair at my continual anxiety & permanent health worries.
I've always been a hospital-phobe and would often worry even as a late teen about aches & pains & whether they might be something like appendicitis (if in my stomach region) or something nasty in my head if I had a headache.
Then in my early 20s a close friend who I'd known throughout school died of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma after a long & drawn out period of treatment during which he was in remission only for the cancer to spread.
He was the same age as me - 21 - and I think his death affected me adversely from then on.
I'm now just shy of 40, married & with a lovely son but permanently lurching from one (generally-imagined) medical crisis to the next which is almost destroying my quality of life.
My GP must absolutely dread my appearance at his surgery door & I can only imagine that my employer is becoming increasingly fed up with short notice doctors visits.
I regularly see a counsellor & have done for the last 3 years.
He's great at being a sounding board and I appreciate what he does for me immensely but I find it difficult sometimes to get accross what is going on for me - it's as if unless you've experienced this, you can't quite grasp how it feels..
I've had CBT on and off over the years too & am now on a long waiting list to see somebody again.
Meanwhile I continually over-analyse every single twitch, bump, cough & ache firmly believing each to be the symptom of cancer which I've dreaded for ages, and becoming ever more fearful that my long-suffering and adored wife is finally going to have had enough of my problems.
I haven't helped myself by being a smoker until the beginning of the year (thank God I did stop eventually) so each illness is therefore automatically my own fault due to the damage I've done - QED. :weep:
Anyway - I thought I'd try & do something positive on the Internet rather than just poring over the symptoms on hundreds of medical websites & scaring myself stupid & so, here I am.
I very much hope that this will at least be a start to putting this all behind me & look forward to chatting with others who find themselves in a similar predicament.
Best wishes,
'Tag'
Just signed up as I'm really starting to despair at my continual anxiety & permanent health worries.
I've always been a hospital-phobe and would often worry even as a late teen about aches & pains & whether they might be something like appendicitis (if in my stomach region) or something nasty in my head if I had a headache.
Then in my early 20s a close friend who I'd known throughout school died of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma after a long & drawn out period of treatment during which he was in remission only for the cancer to spread.
He was the same age as me - 21 - and I think his death affected me adversely from then on.
I'm now just shy of 40, married & with a lovely son but permanently lurching from one (generally-imagined) medical crisis to the next which is almost destroying my quality of life.
My GP must absolutely dread my appearance at his surgery door & I can only imagine that my employer is becoming increasingly fed up with short notice doctors visits.
I regularly see a counsellor & have done for the last 3 years.
He's great at being a sounding board and I appreciate what he does for me immensely but I find it difficult sometimes to get accross what is going on for me - it's as if unless you've experienced this, you can't quite grasp how it feels..
I've had CBT on and off over the years too & am now on a long waiting list to see somebody again.
Meanwhile I continually over-analyse every single twitch, bump, cough & ache firmly believing each to be the symptom of cancer which I've dreaded for ages, and becoming ever more fearful that my long-suffering and adored wife is finally going to have had enough of my problems.
I haven't helped myself by being a smoker until the beginning of the year (thank God I did stop eventually) so each illness is therefore automatically my own fault due to the damage I've done - QED. :weep:
Anyway - I thought I'd try & do something positive on the Internet rather than just poring over the symptoms on hundreds of medical websites & scaring myself stupid & so, here I am.
I very much hope that this will at least be a start to putting this all behind me & look forward to chatting with others who find themselves in a similar predicament.
Best wishes,
'Tag'