i think i need help please help

[co-okie]

hello i havnt been on here for a while. i was doing so much better.

i met this wonderful man, he was sweet and kind and help me through alot, and now... well i seem to have found myself in an abusive relationship. well i think it is, he beats me for no reason. he says i push him over the edge. i found out he had cheated on me with a girl he goes to church with (as far as i know they arnt together anymore but i still have my doubts) and he blamed me for it and beat me up. i don't want to go to the police about it. i dont want to cause trouble. i dont like the police getting involved in anything, i need to sort this out myself. i know that sounds stupid but i cant get any authority in on this.

i have tried to end it and he strangled me until i went into this kindof shock thing he said i stared to shake uncontrolably and my eyes rolled into the back of my head, when i was in it it felt like my head was spinning and i could hear this noise like talking but it was too fast for me to undestand when i started to come back into reality i had pins and needles all over my body but they went away. and i was back to normal. does anyone know what this was? then he said he was sorry and said " see i looked after you during that it proves i love you" but i just wanted to go ( i was at his house) so i tried to leave he pushed me on the bed and punched me in the face and i now have a black eye he said he didnt mean it and hugged me and that he really didnt mean to hit me that hard but i was to dazed to do anything. i just forgave him and he was all happy again. like nothing had happened. there has been more times than that time he has hit me but he promised me he is getting help and that he loves me. i really dont know what to do. please help

[Anxious_gal]

Get as far away from him as you can before he kills you. (short answer)

would you ever treat someone the way he treats you?

He is controlling you with fear but you know that already.

if you decided to leave you need to stay safe, go to shelter for women, not somewhere where he can find you.
the police are there to help you, to keep you safe, that is their job.
but there are always shelters for battered women, the people there will help you and give you advice on what to do.

you need to be honest with your self. he didn't accidentally beat you up.

you are not responsible for his actions. you do not deserve to have pain inflicted on you.

[Anxious_gal]

http://www.havenrefuge.org.uk/

http://www.havenrefuge.org.uk/GetHelp/ReferralLine.htm

[daybyday]

Please get away and ask for shelter and protection.

[Kerry B]

This man is a control freek, hes the one with the problem not you please leave him as soon as possible before it too late. Take care x

[sharon35]

Co-okie sweetheart, someone would not i repeat NOT treat you like that if they loved you.
You need to get away from him! do you have any family you could speak to?
Please get away from him. xx

[suzy-sue]

Cookie ..:hugs:Get out and away from him whilst you still can .They always say they are sorry but continue to behave in the same way ,Each time gets easier for them .Staying is saying you accept and forgive him ,.He is dangerous and not to be trusted ,thats not love its control .Please go somewhere safe ,you dont deserve to be treated like this hun .Take care lots of luv Sue xx:hugs:

[lis1981]

please call the police, get some help, dont do this anymore to your self!
you dont need a chat room to know that this is wrong and this man doesnt know love in anyway wot so ever......

[MidnightCalm]

Leave, get away, take a step back from the situation and you'll see with clearer eyes x

[Vixxy]

Are you worried about him finding you or catching you leaving?
It might take some time to set up, but I would find a womens refuge charity and ask them for help and advice on how to get out and be safe. They might even have someone who can come and help you get out.
You dont deserve to be beaten or strangled, so please seek help to get yourself out of this relationship.
Good luck

[scaredstiff695]

OK reading all the replies to you we are all saming teh same thing leave him leave him thing is you allready no you need to otherwise you wopuldnt have asked for help.
You say you havent een on here for a while so im guessing you have ahad anxiety/panic or ocd before? Well us lot with anxiety and panic etc are the strongest people arouynd to be able to get through and to beat anxiety etc. so now im begging you to look deep inside you for that strength thats hiding down their cos it never dies and to pull it out aghain and be that bstrong person again and leave you can do it you no you can you haev found the strength to tell us all whats happening and thats hard thing to do.
WE ARE ALL HERE DAY AND NIGHT TO SUPPORT YOU WHEN YOU LEAVE SO COME ON HUN YOU CAN DO IT. xxxxx (sending you a massive hug to help you find that strength0 x

[co-okie]

as far as i know the nearest womans aid from where i stay is 20miles away. im terrified incase he finds me leaving again. i dont have the confidence to leave i have these horrible thoughts that hell find me or he will stop me before i go and hurt me or kill me. thank you all for your comments. x

[suzy-sue]

Co-okie ,Please ring the nearest womens aid shelter and talk to someone about your situation .They may be able to help you get away and at least pick you up .Your boyfriend must go out sometime ? Do you have any family or close friends nearby ? .Staying with him is not advisable .He will hit you again .next time you may not be so lucky .Im sorry you are feeling so afraid of him ,But you can and must do it ,and its your safest option .Please tell someone close to you whats happening ..Luv Sue xx:hugs:

[co-okie]

i dont really have any family and i havnt spoken to many of my friends in sometime.
i might be able to go stay with a close mate of mine for a while but im scared he will find me and she will get hurt too x

[Anxious_gal]

you don't want this to be your life.
but you also don't want to feel as if your on the run for the rest of your life.

you could ask for police protection, the will help you leave and you can get a restraining order.

then you could stay at a women's shelter or at a close friends.
eventually finding your own place.

maybe email the women's shelter or call up the helpline.
they deal with this every day and know what those type of men are capable of so they will have the best advice for you.

[Anxious_gal]

if you honestly feel not strong enough to leave, maybe try and save some money up to help you for when you feel like you are able to leave .

[Alicat]

Please let the police know about what he is doing to you!! Your local police will have a domestic abuse team. Please call them! This guy knows he can get away with this because you're scared of him. You don't deserve this. Wishing you all the best :hugs:

[boblepeche]

I think you need to leave sweetheart. Not only are you in danger, this will ruin any self esteem you have. You will be surprised how many friends are there for you in times of need.

[hoppipolla]

No matter how much he may try to veil it, he's clearly no good at all. Get away from him ASAP, if you want my advice O.O

[co-okie]

i know i should, and im hoping to do it son. and i know this is going to sound crazy but i do love him. iv been looking around this site (amazing!) and i have found this site which has a place you and your partner can go to for the weekend and he an get help i might ask him to go if he loves me as much as he says he does then i should see no reason why he wouldnt want to go. he keeps saying he wants help and now i have found him it. im going to try that and make sure he knows that if he doesnt change throughout the course then i will have no choice but to leave him.

do you think this will work?

thank you for all your wonderfull comments you really have made me feel better about myself.
thank you all so very much
xxxx co-okie xxxx

[am3ient]

get rid of him there is no exuse for violence. i was on the end of it from a woman for a year and a half and thought i should just take it cos im a man ...completely wrong. he is controling you completeley and will never stop. get help and seek shelter. even go to the police if you have to. i hope you find the strength to do it soon xx

[co-okie]

thank you for your comment chr1s and im sooo sorry that you had to go through all that. i am happy you found your way out of that situation. i hope i will too.

xxx

[suzy-sue]

Have you spoken to yourpartner about the weekend break yet Cookie ? Anything positive is worth trying .But that said his problems wont disapear in two days .All the promises and words only last until the next time .Be safe and think of what hes capable of ,before you make any decisions about him .Take care Thinking of you Sue x:hugs: