I Have to get strong

[JB63]

Hi all

well my Doctor gave me citalopram 111 days ago and I have had to visit her twice in the time she gave them to me because I was/am a wreck. Like many other people on here I have a HUGE phobia of meds due to my childhood which I simply can not get in to. I have been given every medication in the book over the years and never taken them, stupid I know because I do want to get better but have lived this way so long that it is normal for me. Sorry I am going off topic and rambling....

So tonight I really want to face this fear and just take the tiny tablet, that could set me on the road to recovery.........to say I am scared of how it might affect me to start out is an understatement. I fear vomiting, I fear being spaced out, I fear fainitng....Oh I fear the world and everything in it! I am just sick of myself. What's the worst it could do.....I won't knoiw unless I try huh? I will report back tomorrow and let you know if I manage to take it . I so want to .:weep:

[trooper]

Hi There,

Phobias often seem irrational from the outside, but they're very real when you have them, as are the feelings when you're faced with them. So don't fear judgment from this community.

If you're anything like me you've probably got all kinds of ideas, fears and stories flying around and around your head, only servicing to make you feel worse. Getting them out of your head by speaking or writing them down really does help, it gives them an outlet.

What I sometimes do is write down a list of the problems I am trying to solve, how it makes me feel, how bad that is.

Then you can write down all the potential benefits of what the drug could do for you along with the potential downsides.

When you put them down side by side it can be a little easier to try and add some logic to the fears you're feeling.

The reality is that you 'might' get some side effects, but then, like me you might get off lightly with very little at all. But are these better, worse or indifferent that the problem you're trying to solve? And could you bare them for a few weeks to ultimately get the results you want?

Mostly the side effects are fairly mild and they're gonna make you feel a bit groggy but if you got a cold or flu, you'd feel groggy then and you'd cope until you get better.

If you do get more anxious feelings, you can go back to your doctors and get some short term diazapam to reduce those.

The choice is yours, no one here can make the decision for you. You must do what you're comfortable with.

However, if your doctor (who is qualified to advice you) has suggested you should take them, there is obviously good reason for it. We can share are own experience, which are varied. Mine has been quite positive and the side effects fairly small.

Good luck and if you're really struggling and you don't have anyone you can talk to in your friends and family network, make sure you come here for advice.

[JB63]

Thanks Trooper your advice is encouraging. I just took my first ever antiepressent. 20mg Citalopram..........here's to a happy, healthy mind and body:)

I'm scared to bits though think I might go to bed now and try to sleep. It has been a while since I slept. I only manage 2 hours between 5am and 7am, been like that for 2 weeks I am exhausted.

Today is my first step back to good health. I have eaten more today than I have in 2 weeks , taken my tablet and am now going to sleep.........

[trooper]

Its normal to be nervous, because you don't know what is going to happen.

You are quite likely to get some side effects at the start as your body adjusts to it, if you like it calibrates the highs and lows before selttling on the middle ground, so you may find your emotions going up and down.

Stick with it though, the way I think about it is that Anxiety caused a lot of problems for me. Tiredness, headaches, stomach problems, back problems, stress, paranoia, arguments and relationships difficulties. I learnt to live with those, but if I hadn't had them, and they suddenly turned up one day I would probably think they're intolorable. But because they crept in over time I adjusted to them.

YOu're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for to get where you are and to take responsibility to see a doctor and try and do something about it..

If you can try and do some excersise, even if its just walking, even though you may feel tired. Good to get your heart going, breath in your lungs.

Good luck and fingers crossed you don't get side effects.

Cheers, T

[JB63]

Hi Trooper

thank you for your kind words and support. I have only been taking the tablets for 3 days and already had a few side effects, but I can live with them if this is as bad as it gets. I am all over the place and tired as heck but one good thing, I am sleeping better already. I will keep at it and hope this is the start of a new way of life. The nausea and dizziness are rough but manageable. Early days I guess. We shall see.

Hope all is well with you and thanks again. You are indeed a great help.