Just had a panic attack :(

[radougalkins]

I feel really stupid for posting this but right now I've noone to turn to. My parents don't understand, my friends live elsewhere and the only person I can talk to isn't online so I feel lonely. So if anyone feels like they could spare a little time to listen I'll be so grateful..

I've had my fair share of panic attacks over the years but it's been a few months since the last. Life's been pretty great compared to how it was and I just received some news that completely brought me crashing right back down again and I ended up having an attack.

I've always wondered if I suffer from tropophobia (fear of moving/making changes).. but I think tonight proved it. My mum told me that they (my parents) have made an offer on this bungalow and that we'll be moving.

Lived in this house for almost 20 years, ever since I was born. I love living here, and I've never imagined wanting to live anywhere else. This is the only place I feel 100% safe. But my parents are getting older, and they can't stay here forever.. and they really can't understand why I'm so upset. They only just told me that they were going to view this new place two nights ago.. two nights later and they've made an offer which was accepted. The fact it's happened so quickly hasn't helped.

So my mum left me, and I couldn't stop crying. I just became overwhelmed and the panic set it. I hate it. It's so difficult to get my breathing back on track and now I just feel numb and pathetic. I've been able to keep my anxiety in control and tonight I couldn't.

Don't really know what I need to hear, but anything anyone can say. I don't know how to deal with this right now :weep:

[leafar]

What's good about what's happened? If you weren't you, and you were observing yourself and had to say one thing which was good, what would it be?

[KK77]

A lot of people with anxiety have a fear of "change" - it's about leaving your comfort-zone so don't put it down to a very specific condition.

More than anything, this has shocked you. You haven't been the one to make this decision and it's natural that it's going to take some time for it to sink in. Did your parents not speak to you about this before?

Sometimes change is necessary for us to grow and mature so don't look upon it as something negative - even though it feels scary right now.

People move on, make new friends etc - it's life and you cannot fight it - so flow with it, OK?

[Oddfish]

I'd not heard of tropophobia before but can definitely relate to it. As your current home feels like the only place that you feel really safe, moving feels like a huge threat to your security. You don't have any control over what is happening so the best you can do is adapt to the situation. Have happy memories of where you are now but think about where you are going. It'll feel odd at first but you'll be surprised how quickly it feels like home.

[radougalkins]

It's not the first time I've felt like this about moving elsewhere. Every time I'd go on holiday I'd be upset the night before leaving home, and even when leaving after being on holiday. When it came for me starting Uni a couple of years back I was a wreck for the week leading up to it, panicking for no reason. Same every time I'd go home for the holidays and return... each time I'd be terrified and would cry. I hated where I lived this past year for Uni because of the people I shared with but even then.. when it came to leaving my room I was so upset and shaking, even though I had such a bad time there.

There's just been so many changes this year. I started citalopram in Feb. Had a bit of a breakdown in May. I've lost my best friend, another is sick and we might lose her in this coming year... it's all so uncertain. Things ended with my 'boyfriend' of almost two years. Started a new job. My bedroom's also gone now (being redecorated)...

Just feel like I can't deal with any more changes. I know that life is hard and things change but it terrifies me.

And to Melancholia77, they thought about moving a few years back but they didn't because of me.. Only found out about them being interested in another place two nights back and now they're moving. Just so sudden. Plus... seems like everyone else can move on and make new friends but me. All of my friends from high school have new lives now, new friends. All I have is them and two people from University (one being my ex)... I've never been good at adapting to change. Always scares me too much and then my anxiety kicks in and it's too late to fix things :(

[Anxious_gal]

aw your poor thing :-( that is pretty big news, moving house is highly stressful even for someone without anxiety.
Maybe your parents think if they do it FAST it may be less stressful for you.
they are getting older so I guess they need a house more suited to their needs.
eventually you will settle in to the new house and maybe at some point it might even start to feel like home.
and home is always where ever your loved ones are :-)
sorry to hear you had such a bad year, you must be feeling awful.
have you been to see the new place or seen pictures at least?
what is it about moving house that causes your anxiety?
for me its because where i live now is pretty safe and i like that I've known all my neighbours for years so it'd be a shame to move.
maybe your doctor could prescribe you some sedatives if you start suffering really badly from panic attacks?

[nomorepanic]

Sometimes as sufferers we have to think of others - like your mum and dad.

They want to move house and it would be unfair to stop them moving cos you didn't want to as I am sure you appreciate.

A house at the end of the day is just bricks and mortar and as long as you have each other then the next house will be a new home.

It could even be new openings and new friends and new experiences. Don't look on the bleak side look on the new beginnings side.

[jothenurse]

Lots of good posts here.
Change is hard, for anyone. Even change that is good. I do think you will get used to the new house once you have moved in and spent some time there. It's probably true, that your parents probably need to do this for themselves and maybe they have put this off for awhile and the time and a good house for their needs came available and they feel they need to take this opportunity.

[sarah_85]

i appreciate that change is hard, i think i have issues with it too. even with simple things like if someone changes the plan or where we're meeting or who's coming along, something that stupid can throw me. the only way i deal with it is to think, well what's the worst that could happen? and the answer is usually "not much" or even "nothing". try not to concentrate so much on what will go wrong or what will feel bad. usually things are pretty minor :) i know your parents love you, probably more than you know, and it's difficult for people to understand anxiety and panic attacks of they havent experienced them for themselves so don't take it too personally. just know that everyone here does know how it feels to fo through it and you're not alone. we'll always be here to listen and support you in a way that only people who know what you're going through can :) lots of love. xxx

[radougalkins]

Hi everyone

Really sorry I've not been back to reply to all your words of support and wisdom! Everything has been a little crazy at my end recently so never had the time.

Everything you've all said has made me feel a lot better and less crazy. Thank you so much. I sort of felt like I was just being a selfish brat or something who wasn't happy or something. Didn't really know why I was so upset when I got the news about moving.

Still not dealing with it well though, but I'm keeping quiet for the sake of my parents because I don't want to cause any more trouble. I can't even get a change of hairstyle at the hairdressers because I freak out at getting a couple of inches off - such a small change makes me feel cut off from the rest of the world and I kind of slip into a bout of depression. I find it so hard to make the smallest of changes. It's things like that make me so scared of moving I think. I don't know why I get so anxious over things :(

Me and my family aren't close.. I'm not close to my mum and she doesn't help at all. Just tells me that the way I think about things is wrong and that I should deal with things like everyone else. She just can't understand that I can't help it..

They say that we'll likely still be here at Christmas and then move... so I guess it gives me some time to get my head around things and hopefully deal with my anxiety about it. Any advice on what I can do about that? I really don't know where to start :(

[Kell]

Try not to be too hard on your parents. Not everyone understands anxiety & depression. I didn't until it came into my life.
You say that you're not close? Perhaps this is an opportunity to bring you closer together. Every cloud.... Maybe you should sit down with them & explain to them how you're feeling & explain how anxiety & depression works. They would then know how best to help & support you. Perhaps they feel helpless & don't know how to deal with how you feel. Help them to help you. At the end of the day, they're your parents and they love you and want you to be happy. You might find that it's a huge weight off if you resolve this side of things.

Kel
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