stick1974
27-08-10, 23:51
Hi, I'm new to the forum, but I've had HA for many years. I've finally decided to post because I'm having very bad anxiety again about breast lumpiness, and have got myself into a bit of a state. My husband has been through this with me many times, and he loses patience with me sometimes. If it's not this then it's some other health worry. It feels like we have so much responsibility to be vigilant and to take responsibility for our own health, and it's so difficult when you have HA.
My breasts have been lumpy and painful for several years now - more so before a period, and sometimes subsiding afterwards, but sometimes remaining painful all month - I'm nearly 36 - and I was referred to the breast clinic 5 years ago - had ultrasound and clinical examination and was told fibrocystic change. I was relieved at first, but kept going back to my GP and was referred another couple of times with anxiety about new lumpy and painful areas that I was finding. It got to the stage where I was constantly checking my breasts, getting totally panicked about all the lumps I could feel, and making them more painful because I was always prodding them, to the stage where I wasn't sure what I could feel anymore. I was always on the internet, looking at breast cancer forums and medical sites, and it was always at the back of my mind for about 3 years. The fear eventually subsided, only to be replaced by cervical cancer fears after treatment for an abnormal smear - ironically something I'd never given a second thought to before.
Since then I have veered from anxiety about cervical cancer to ovarian cancer, throat cancer, skin cancer, brain tumour, oesophagal cancer and bowel cancer - I also have IBS - all due to symptoms I was feeling. A couple of weeks ago a friend was telling me about one of her friends who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer at 43, and I was much more thorough than usual with my breast self exam, which I'd got down to only doing every month. As well as the usual lumpy areas, I felt what I think might be a new area of lumpiness on the underside of my right breast. At first I tried to tell myself that it didn't feel any different from the kinds of lumpiness that I've had for years, but then I started thinking maybe this is new - could I have missed it before and it's been growing all this time, maybe it's different, etc. I tried to get an appointment with my GP but she's on holiday until 6th September, so I've booked an appointment for then. Part of me wants her to examine me and tell me everything is ok, but part of me wants her to refer me again so that I can get another scan. But I'm scared of what the scan would tell me. I hate feeling like this again, and I find it almost impossible to tell what is normal. I know that breast tissue does feel nodular and that this can be normal, and I know that many breast cancers present as small, hard lumps, which I don't have. But I also know that sometimes lumps that like fibrocystic condition can mimic or mask breast cancers, so I'm really concerned. I find that it's hard to get people to take this seriously - the last time I was at the breast clinic they were very dismissive of me, and just said I was very anxious. I am very anxious, but I think anyone with a lot of breast lumpiness and pain would be anxious - surely!
I don't know what I'm hoping for from this post - just knowing that other people understand I guess. If anyone has any advice about this problem I'd be so grateful to hear from them.
Thanks for reading
My breasts have been lumpy and painful for several years now - more so before a period, and sometimes subsiding afterwards, but sometimes remaining painful all month - I'm nearly 36 - and I was referred to the breast clinic 5 years ago - had ultrasound and clinical examination and was told fibrocystic change. I was relieved at first, but kept going back to my GP and was referred another couple of times with anxiety about new lumpy and painful areas that I was finding. It got to the stage where I was constantly checking my breasts, getting totally panicked about all the lumps I could feel, and making them more painful because I was always prodding them, to the stage where I wasn't sure what I could feel anymore. I was always on the internet, looking at breast cancer forums and medical sites, and it was always at the back of my mind for about 3 years. The fear eventually subsided, only to be replaced by cervical cancer fears after treatment for an abnormal smear - ironically something I'd never given a second thought to before.
Since then I have veered from anxiety about cervical cancer to ovarian cancer, throat cancer, skin cancer, brain tumour, oesophagal cancer and bowel cancer - I also have IBS - all due to symptoms I was feeling. A couple of weeks ago a friend was telling me about one of her friends who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer at 43, and I was much more thorough than usual with my breast self exam, which I'd got down to only doing every month. As well as the usual lumpy areas, I felt what I think might be a new area of lumpiness on the underside of my right breast. At first I tried to tell myself that it didn't feel any different from the kinds of lumpiness that I've had for years, but then I started thinking maybe this is new - could I have missed it before and it's been growing all this time, maybe it's different, etc. I tried to get an appointment with my GP but she's on holiday until 6th September, so I've booked an appointment for then. Part of me wants her to examine me and tell me everything is ok, but part of me wants her to refer me again so that I can get another scan. But I'm scared of what the scan would tell me. I hate feeling like this again, and I find it almost impossible to tell what is normal. I know that breast tissue does feel nodular and that this can be normal, and I know that many breast cancers present as small, hard lumps, which I don't have. But I also know that sometimes lumps that like fibrocystic condition can mimic or mask breast cancers, so I'm really concerned. I find that it's hard to get people to take this seriously - the last time I was at the breast clinic they were very dismissive of me, and just said I was very anxious. I am very anxious, but I think anyone with a lot of breast lumpiness and pain would be anxious - surely!
I don't know what I'm hoping for from this post - just knowing that other people understand I guess. If anyone has any advice about this problem I'd be so grateful to hear from them.
Thanks for reading