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willy
27-02-06, 16:59
hello everyone!


my name is willy. ive been suffering form gad, panic attacks and phobias for two and a half years now.

at the beginning of last year i started getting panic attacks on a daily basis, before this i used to get them every so often.

i had just returned to the uk from australia where i had been living for two years, this is when i started to get the panic attacks daily.

im not sure wat triggered it off. i came off my antidepressant just before i returnee to the uk, and lookiing back i think i may have come off them too quickly.
i had a panic attack on a plane at the start of last year.
it was terrifying, then a few weeks later i was at edinburgh airport with my mother waiting to get our return flight back to london. and i just freaked out in the lounge and ran away from my mother downstairs to a cafe. sat down and just wept uncontrolably. anyway i managed too catch that flight back with just minutes to spare, luckily. it was horrible.
my symptoms are rapid heartbeat, depersonalisation, dry mouth, trembling, dizzy, hot flushes tight chest, shallow breathing and weak legs.
i took one more flght in may last year in may, same thing had another panic attack. sice then i have avoided flying.
i had a return ticket back to australia last year, but i had to cancel the ticket cause i felt i would not be able to cope with that journey. that broke my heart and was hard to take. :(

i desperately want to get back there and get on with my career. i had a great job out there and a good life.
my family are here in the uk and im living at my parents house. but my dad has a violent temper and directs his anger onto me verbally. we dont get along at all.
my parents argue alot of the time too, it is a hostile environment.

going back to my phobias and panic attacks.
one time last year i was heading up to edinburgh to see my bro on one of those virgin trains from london. as soon as the train departed i had a panic attack, then for the nexy hour the attacks would come and go. i was petrified. as soon as we got to the first stop which was peterborough, i was off that train in a flash. i couldnt bare being on that train for another 4 hours or however long it took to get to scotland.
so now i was stuck in this place called peterborough.
in the end i had to fork out £115 and get a taxi back to london, feeling deflated and depressed.

i had a few panic attacks whilst driving on the motorway last year. now i avoid driving on the motorway.
i also avoid going on the underground, driving through tunnels.
i dont like going in lifts. all of my phobias are enclosed spaces.

i spent two months in a psychiatric hospital last year, because i was suicidal due to these panic attacks i was getting. i have suffered from depresion for seven years now and have been on antidepresants on and off for seven years.

we got burguled last year, and i was in the house with my brother when the robbers broke in. i got punched in the back my head by on of them. one threatened us both with a hammer in his hand.
so that had an affect on my anxiety levels.

i am still suffering from panic attacks and my phobias. i get them every so often. i am housebound most of the time. and im back on the antidepressants and ive been on benzodiapines for just under a year now. im slowly tapering off those now though.
ive just started seeing a cbt therapist. does cbt really work on eliminating panic attacks anyone??

im very lonely. im glad i have now found this site.
im just going to have too get on the plane this year back to australia. easier said than done. this i believe is wat will save me.

i look forward too meeting lots of new people who are struggling like myself with this conditon.
any positive suggestions and advice

Alexandra
27-02-06, 17:09
Hi Willy

Im so sorry to hear all that you have been through. You will become alot stronger from all that has happened.

When i was living at home i never got on with my dad either, he had a vile temper.

You are not alone whatsoever with how you feel & you are certainly not alone.

Take good care & keep positive, your on the right track now.



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

india
27-02-06, 17:12
Hi Willy, i can sooo relate to your story. Your symptoms are exactly the same as mine. I too am terrified of flying, don't you think it would be ok if there was no one else on the flight? It's not actual flying we're scared of, just of having these feelings. I have a flight booked in May, which i'm already seriously worrying about.

I do think seeing a counselor helps, i saw one four years ago, which really helped. I am seeing one at the moment to help with my current problems. I am so glad you've found this site. You'll meet loads of people in the same boat as you, and get loads of good advice.

Remember you are not alone, Love India x

jackie
27-02-06, 17:17
hi willy, hope we make you feel less alone which you are not. have you read any of claire weekes books on the effects of fear . you will get them on this site if you click on it below.

other than that we are all here for you
jackie
Reading for sufferers of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=reading)

Meg
27-02-06, 17:27
Willy,

I'm really glad to hear you are now going to have CBT , it really does help

Also try the telephone recovery programmes from www.nopanic.org

You have taught yourself that travelling is scary and non escapable from and thus each time you try it you bring up past memories and feelings which make it harder to escape from this time plus a whole load of negative thought patterns.

I hope you find CBT helpful.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

tnt808
27-02-06, 17:38
Willy,

I am glad you have sought help in the form of CBT. I have heard okay things about it. I too will be starting it. We are very similar in the way of our phobias. I cannot stand a ride on a plane, boat, train,etc. I understand the irrationality of it. I sympathize with you.
If you cannot get back to Australia for now try and find peace where you are at. Maybe getting out of your parent's house might be a little less stressful for you. Give yourself time to recover from this. Or at least find common ground with it. Don't be too hard on yourself, (I get told that all of the time).

Good luck,
Tina

Alexandra
27-02-06, 18:01
Hi Willy

CBT is definantly the right direction like the others say. Ive really moved on so much since i started with mine. You will really benefit from them. Let us know how you get on.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

sal
27-02-06, 23:22
Hi hun

Sorry missed you on MSN today but thinking about you and if you ever want to talk i am here for you.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

Sueblue
27-02-06, 23:40
Hi Willy
Sad to hear your story - I can relate to so much in it, I could have written it myself. Trains - planes, motorways, tunnels - making me hot and bothered just thinking about it.
You sound to be going through a bad time with your dad too which must add to it.
I've no answers but just wanted to show some support, let you know you aren't suffering alone.
all the best, Sue