How should i react?!

[Serafina]

I live with my boyf and our 3 kids and on the same peice of land lives his father. Last week while i was at work his father came over to ours to drink tea with other men who are his friends in a conservatory we have added on our house. When i got home i found cups everywhere and wrappers from there lunch just left on the table. I got mad, and took the cups outside and smashed the cups on the floor. When my boyfs father came over later i showed him the cups and told him i was fed up of being made a mug of and that i wasnt his maid to pick up after him and he is close to being banned from our house.
After that nothing was said, as i calmed down and it was forgotten as we went away for a few days. When i got home, i found out from my step daughter who was stopping here that my blokes father has being telling everyone about the cup episode and that i am loosing the plot and '.. she (being me) has smashed cups and next she will be killing someone..'
At the moment i am struggling with my depression and my anxiety and i have been put back on fluoxetine and im 3 weeks into them and to be honest i find his comment upsetting. Im even questioning my own sanity. Am i mad? is it normal to get angry and smash cups? Im paranoid about everything i am saying or doing in case he has told people im loopy and they will agree with him.
My boyfriend says i should ignore him, but its hard when i am so concious at the moment of who i am. Im a paranoid depressed anxious person who is really struggling. I dont want locking up or taking away, but how the hell do you know if you are mad?

[lynn1960]

you will not be locked away when the meds stsart to work you will feel more able to sort you feelings out at the moment because yiou are in a high state of panic you can not see straight if you were mad you would not know the fact that you can think proves therte is nothing wrong with your brain please please believe me you are not mad an d will not be lockled away i promise you i felt the same but now my meds wiorking i am able tp think about things in a logical way take care

[unspoken]

It sounds like you're someone who bottles things up over time and you have done that for quite a long time about this but you finally (rightfully) got fed up of him taking advantage of you and let all the frustration out at once by smashing the cups. I don't think it is a sign of madness. It is a sign that you have to try to make your feelings clearer early on, rather than bottling them up. As Lynn said above, if you were mad, you wouldn't be this self-aware.

[ladybird64]

I don't have an answer to your question but you do have my sympathy..I have similar difficulties when dealing with situations.

You do sound very wound up and I get the impression (although I obviously could be wrong) that there is a bit more to this family situation than we know about, I'm guessing that your feelings and needs aren't taken very seriously and that it has been that way for a while.

It seems like you need an outlet, someone you can talk to apart from your family..maybe a counsellor?

There is nothing like unresolved anger to fire the anxiety and depression, I find it very difficult not to react immediately to something that has annoyed me but I have been trying very hard not to..it doesn't help and just raises my stress levels to a greater level.

The main problem with that is that I really brood on the fact that I haven't dealt with the problem and the anger is still there simmering under the surface, often days after the event.

I don't know how to let it go. :lac:

If you can, look into getting counselling or some kind of talking therapy if you feel able to do it. I agree with Lynn and Unspoken, no way are you mad just seriously het up.

Let the meds do their work and try and get yourself the support that you deserve. :flowers:

[uk23]

Wow, if I was treated like that I would have done the same thing, some people can see mental weakness or vulnerability and pick up on it, they use that and target people like us.

You are NOT mad, you are just behaving normally. I find my anger rages as well like that sometimes as well, one method I find helps (and its hard work) is to learn to either confront the anger (ask him why he didn't remove the cups) and let the thought/anger out in a more constructive way or let it pass through your mind.

I don't think anyone would agree that they like being 'walked all over'.

Just remember that you are not mad, there is nothing wrong with you, you will not be locked up.

[Maj]

You are definitely not mad and the lazy sods shouldn't have left all that lying about anyway. It just takes something like this to make you feel as though you have lost the plot, but honestly it's just that you've finally had enough. Absolutely nothing to do with madness, but just an indication of how stressed you are feeling and it only takes one thoughtless person to push you to your limit. Don't feel bad. Hopefully the meds will make you feel better soon, but this doesn't excuse the lazy persons behaviour. They shouldn't have taken advantage of your home.:hugs:

[Anxious_gal]

I would have smashed the cups and changed all the locks ... at times you need to show anger so people will know your not a push over!
I HATE when people act as if you OVERREACTED.
I get that alot in my family, people think they can walk all over you, you get mad and then they act like your the crazy one!! they push and push till they get the reaction they want.
it's called scapegoating.
im pretty sure that man would never do such a thing in anyone else's house!

it reminds me like in school. i was the quite one and i felt like the teachers would tell me off for something small, but the teachers would never tell off the loud girls..... because it'd be too much hassle.
so i do feel sometimes showing your temper can be a good thing.

I do suggest you try talking to this man , but if he's anything like my family members it will just fall on deaf ears.

also men mistreating women makes me so mad, ,maybe anymore if there is a mess leave it don't clean it, eventually your boyfriend may see where your coming from.

sorry about my rant, you can tell I got a bit worked up due to my own struggles with my family.

anxiety wise, hmm all i can say is try to find a way to relax or chop some wood to get all the anger out. or buy some cheap plates and throw them hard into a bit bin! I find breaking things is amazing for helping me let out my anger in a safe way :-)
I bottle up all my anger so it often comes out as pure rage or i end up turning it inside so i become depressed and frustrated.
if you live in the country, screaming can help, or turn up some music real load and sing along!
its good to express your anger in a healthy way :-)