View Full Version : HELP wanted please - Terrible night...just why though?
For the last few days I thought I'd turned a corner with my anxiety attacks and overall panic, fear and problems.
I watched a video on youtube explaining my anxiety and it really made me look at things so differently I thought, oooh I feel a lot better now.
Tonight I could feel it building within me though, even though I thought rationally, thought about that video and thought this is just me building up to something but I'm sure nothing will happen...WRONG!
Out with my friends enjoying my evening when suddenly intense fear for NO reason just comes over me and I have an anxiety attack. I don't tell anyone. I'm halfway through a packet of crisps and I can't eat them, I can't drink, I feel dread, horror and fear for NO REASON AT ALL! I felt like crying or screaming or just wanting to go home...
My life is still so controlled by this and I feel like I really am GOING MENTAL!
So my questions are these:
Why does a rational thought or memory become terrifying when at anxiety is at it's peak?
Why do you feel the need to cry or get intense watering eyes?
Why do you feel scared of everything and get horrific images in your mind when you know deep down it's just a thought and it can't hurt you?
Yet when you feel ok NONE of these things affect you?
This is what is keeping me anxious, I need answers, can anyone help or relate to this?
Will this ever be sorted or do I have to live with this forever as I sometimes I just don't want to carry on like this anymore and have even thought of suicide but know I'm too strong a character to do it!
I'm at the end of my rope everyone. :weep:
Why does a rational thought or memory become terrifying when at anxiety is at it's peak
I think its because we are on a higher state of alert and the smallest thing our mind picks up on triggers adrenaline.
Why do you feel the need to cry or get intense watering eyes?
I dont but everyone is different, actually sometimes I do but that's because it makes me sad I cant be like other people sometimes.
Why do you feel scared of everything and get horrific images in your mind when you know deep down it's just a thought and it can't hurt you?
I really wish I knew the answer to that, it seems that rational thoughts go straight out of the window, instead we think of the worst case scenario.
I totally know how you feel, I can no longer go out, meet with friends, enjoy my hobbies or infact most things very often at all. I watched those videos as well, even did the course he does (dont mention his name on here, its not allowed!). I found it very helpful but then suddenly it stopped working, however I find some of the techniques very useful.
It's just insane, terrifying and it's plaging me. I love being active, driving my car, doing photoshoots, going out to airshows etc.
Yet now I fear all of them and because I feel my life is now so bad I just want to end it all. I hope I get more replies to this thread before this gets worse.
Answers are what we all need!
Desprate Dan
29-08-10, 12:49
Hey David, so sorry you feel like that. When anxiety has got a grip its hard to think rationally.. I wish i had the answers, but maybe we fuel the anxiety fire by thinking to deep and looking for answer's.. I know i get so tired of asking why is this happening, why me, why now? Sometimes i think do i subconsiously bring it on, trigger it... I guess if there is no real cure, no operation to remove it, then we need to except it as part of who we are. Its certainly not easy.
The scary thing for me now is I start thinking about ending my own life as I don't want to feel like this.
I hope I'm not alone there?
alicegreen
29-08-10, 18:35
The scary thing for me now is I start thinking about ending my own life as I don't want to feel like this.
I hope I'm not alone there?
No David, you are not alone. I have felt like this for a while but only admitted it out loud today. It terrifies me to feel so helpless. I know in my heart or hearts i cannot take my life as i have 3 children that need me...flawed as i am even. Im sorry that you are having a bad day too. X
A bad day...no a bad few months SO FAR is more like it.
It's like I'm plagued with having bad irrational thoughts and fears which makes my adrenaline kick in and I dont want to live like this.
Why do we have to keep conditioning our minds to stay anxiety free but then it always gets the better of us.
It's driving me insane.
I just need answers.
Why do you feel scared of everything and get horrific images in your mind when you know deep down it's just a thought and it can't hurt you?
The first 2 questions have been answered so I'll focus on the third one...
It's really 2 questions in one so firstly, the reason why we feel scared of everything is simply because everything frightens us because of what everything represents to us due to bad experiences.
For instance, you could be having a really bad day or been having a really stressful period then one day out of the blue you experience all the symptoms of a panic attack which make you feel so frightened because of how they make you feel and because you don't know what's wrong with you, that your fear then forces you to retreat indoors. Just the thought of going out after our bad experience then represents a fear to overcome.
When fear arrives to reside within us, we lose all our confidence so we then start worrying about more than just attempting to go out. For instance, we'll then start worrying about the symptoms we suffered. Were they more than just anxiety? Are we really ill?..and so on....which all leads to health anxiety.
This then leads to the second part of the question regarding horrific images. When anxiety takes over our lives, we are in a constant anxious state and our fears then dream up our worst nightmares and produce them as images because anxiety knows they frighten us so much. These then keep our anxiety alive so that it keeps control of us.
I love being active, driving my car, doing photoshoots, going out to airshows etc.
Yet now I fear all of them
It can take just one bad experience, one traumatic event or one bad panic attack that opens the door within us to anxiety so that everything we used to love and enjoy so much is then controlled by the fear that now resides within us.
The only way to regain our lives is to carry on doing all the things we used to enjoy because only then can we rebuild the confidence which then eliminates our fear.
If a football player runs up to take a penalty and misses, his confidence could evaporate causing him to never want to take another penalty again because of his fear of missing again. However, if he decides to go back to training and practise taking penalties to rebuild his confidence, he then stands a better chance of scoring the next penalty that arises.
Therefore, although we mustn't give in to fear, it's important to learn the right approach needed because if we go out feeling afraid of a panic, our fear will most probably cause a panic when in reality the "second" panic is being caused by our own fear.
The "first" panic that changed our lives was probably purely down to a bad experience after a bad day or bad period of stress but that's how anxiety gains control over us.
We all have the ability to overcome our fears if we want to and once we feel able but sometimes it can just take time, knowledge, planning and patience once anxiety has gained control over every aspect of our lives but it can be done so never give up on hope.:)
I can relate to that and acknowledge and agree totally Bill.
My worst thing is I can one day be fine and out and about and be totally not bothered about anything. The next (identical situation) I'll start thinking about everything, then anxiety will kick in and make me feel awful and terrified again.
It's this I'm having trouble working out and dealing with?
Hi David,
I have good days followed by bad days too when it can feel a struggle just to get through the day but I believe there's always a reason why. Sometimes I think we might just have a bad nights sleep or wake up thinking to ourselves..oh, I had a good day yesterday...and just thinking that can make us start thinking "inwardly" about our feelings which can then trigger our anxiety.
I know if I'm feeling very tired I find my anxiety attacks more and also stressful days affect my anxiety more too. Smetimes also I think our anxiety can be triggered by something we hear or see which sparks a memory that makes us feel anxious.
Boring days can also make us think too much as well.
I feel the causes of bad days are varied and they can affect all of us just when we're feeling better after having a good day or a good spell. It's just one of those things I think we have to accept because if we delve too much into the causes or get frustrated with bad days, we end up beating ourselves up and getting depressed because it feels anxiety never leaves us completely.
Personally, if I have a bad day I try to say to myself "Oh well, tomorrow will be a good day then". If we dwell too much on our bad days, we create more bad days but if we can wipe the slate clean after each bad day and not dwell or look back and keep looking forward, I think we can learn to accept our anxiety easier.
If we try to fight against our anxiety by letting it get to us, we end up tensing up more which just makes our anxiety feel worse. If we can accept it as just a part of us, even if it's a part we don't want!, it tends to trouble us less because we stop fighting against it and therefore we relax.
The other thing though is when you feel your mind is thinking inwardly because something has troubled you or even if you're just feeling anxious but don't know why, Don't dwell on it or try to analyse why. Get your mind to think about something you enjoy or something to look forward to, or find something just to take your mind off your feelings such as having a chat with a mate or taking up a hobby. I find writing often stops me thinking about my feelings because I'm having to concentrate too much on what I'm writing. You say you love being active so no matter how you're feeling just get up and do whatever you normally enjoy and you'll find your anxiety will ease. Different things work for different people but whatever it is, it has to be something that really engrosses your mind away from your thoughts and feelings.
If you feel yourself beginning to think about everything, you Must nip it in the bud by stopping yourself otherwise you Will end up feeling ill. The key is in our thinking patterns because when something frightens us we tend to dwell on it and analyse it too deeply which then always ends up in making us feel ill with anxiety. It's So important to nip this thought pattern in the bud before it takes hold because when you think about it, what actually changes by dwelling on something so much?...Nothing other than making us feel ill with anxiety...so then there's really no point dwelling on worries and thoughts that frighten us that are beyond our control.
Stopping yourself dwelling on a worry or fears changes nothing other than helping ourselves to feel better so don't be afraid to let go of a worry and train your mind on other things you enjoy. Later, when you go back to the worry, you'll find the worry won't affect you so much because you'll be in a more relaxed state.
One last thing to try and remember, is when you get a worrying or frightening thought, try not to tense up. Remind yourself it's just a thought being created by fear and a thought Won't harm you. Pretend you're thinking of a cream cake and react in the same way because it really doesn't matter what thoughts we have - they're all just thoughts. It's just we tense up to ones that frighten us and then make ourselves ill by dwelling on them when we should try to learn to treat all thoughts in exactly the same way by letting them go and pass through us without trying to hold onto them.
Anyway, hope something in that is of some help.:winks:
Hi David
Bill's dead right with this - the ideas and mental images are called intrusive thoughts. There is a really good Wiki article on it if you have a google. The main point is that they're part of being human and I think we all have them to some extent - but it's anxious people that find them hard to let go of.
I've suffered from them for many years, and they're always worse when I'm stressed or anxious, or sometimes they can come out of the blue when I'm otherwise fine. Mine usually appear as visual images; I'll get a picture in my head of a horrible situation, and I think because it's visual, they're harder to get rid of. The only way I've found that seems to work is to let go of the thought quickly - the same way that you'd look away from a really gory sequence in a film. If you can shut your mind's eye to them, they slip away. But it's easier said than done!
I see what you mean Angel. I also think it's part of depersonalization too. I find when the anxiety is heightened things always seem scary. Nearly everything around me, even a thought but annoyingly I know it can't hurt me yet it always seems to bother me!
I can totally relate to your incredulous feelings towards anxiety David. I also relate to the morbid thoughts and how things are so magnified when anxious.
I have started having panic attacks this week again after months without one, but I am lucky enough to at least realise my trigger points and mine has been a very stressy relationship issue this past week which got me very, very tearful and upset and hey presto, up pop my panic attacks and anxiety again.
Mine involve waking up with a racing heartbeat and tension, my mind races with all types of dark, morbid thoughts and a sense of going out of control and going mad. Overwhelmingly though, I just feel very, very scared but I cannot fathom what it is scaring me. It is soooooo frustrating and it is like being in a mental prison at times, that is the best way I can describe it, yet when I am panic free I have the ability to stand back, look at my anxiety rationally and wonder why I get like that! It is just a sense of pure freedom and calm, as opposed to the debilitating grip that panic attacks have. It really drives you crazy as there is simply no why or wherefore with anxiety.
As others have said, there is ALWAYS an underlying reason for it, but sometimes it is hard to exactly pinpoint it as it may be SO underlying you can't see it!
I am at the point now where I REFUSE to allow my panic attacks and anxiety to rule me and fight them tooth and nail every step of the way. It helps that I can figure out why they occur now which is half the battle I think.:yesyes:
I find when the anxiety is heightened things always seem scary. Nearly everything around me,
I think Debs, you have given a good example of what happens. In your case you have been under a lot of stress due to your relationship issue, and therefore stress, in whatever form it takes, is often the trigger that sparks our anxiety....
Too much stress = panic and anxiety which combined = fear which in itself = stress.....and so the cycle begins.
Overwhelmingly though, I just feel very, very scared but I cannot fathom what it is scaring me.
To add, I think the reason why we feel so afraid and of everything when our anxiety has been triggered is perhaps because it affects our security.
Peoples personalities vary greatly and anxiety takes many forms so it's dangerous to generalise but "generally" speaking, in alot, but not all anxiety sufferers, we tend to be sensitive and lack confidence which is why too much stress affects us so easily. Sometimes it's emotional stress or it can be daily stress either from our past experiences or in our present circumstances.
my mind races with all types of dark, morbid thoughts and a sense of going out of control and going mad.
Our lack of confidence creates doubts and worries because we often don't trust ourselves enough and these worries then affect our insecurity making us feel that "we're losing control".
We like to feel in control of ourselves and everything around us so when we feel our control is threatened, we become anxious.
Imagine a "safe path". To feel in control and secure we feel the need to stay on our path but life is full of events that will force us out of our comfort zone so every time we are faced with these events, we become tense and anxious because we feel the need to keep safe. This is often why we then feel we're losing control because the security we need feels under attack.
Also, when we lose our sense of security, we then feel very vulnerable which is why everything then scares us because our anxiety then makes us perceive everything as a danger until we regain our sense of security.
Therefore, although stress is often the underlying cause that triggers our anxiety, there are often other reasons why stress actually causes us to suffer from anxiety and why we then feel afraid of everything.
One reason why we should never generalise is that we all have different stress thresholds and too much stress affects people in different ways. Even the most confident of people can suffer anxiety without warning even though their personalities have never had the traits I've mentioned.
For instance, you have to have supreme self-confidence to be a racing driver to enable them to race around a circuit only thinking of winning but never the dangers involved as most of us would. However, one day they could suffer a bad crash and walk away from it without any physical injury but end up never racing again...because the crash caused them to lose all their confidence in their own abilities so that every time after the crash, all they can now see is the worry of crashing again rather than the thought of winning as they did before.
What I'm saying is, that anxiety affects people for different reasons but one of the common links is "confidence". Without self-confidence, a person will suffer from worry and doubts so that when they are then faced with too much stress they will then feel anxious. However, self-confidence also creates a sense of security without which everything could then frighten us because we feel anxious all the time without even realising why. And yet, when we feel safe, secure and not under pressure, as Debs says she can...look at anxiety rationally and wonder why I get like that!
So I guess you could say a few tips would be...
Try to build confidence through practise and experience.
Allow yourself to relax by not keeping to a safe path to avoid tension so that you feel more secure in yourself.
Remember your limitations so you don't take on more than you can cope with by delegating and asking for help wherever possible.:hugs:
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