Identity anxiety (just who am i ?)

[Desprate Dan]

Hello good people of NMP, I really need some help if anyone feels the same or can relate please reply. Well i am not sure who i am, i know that sounds a little crazy, what i actually mean is i have no strong feelings or desire for the things that come natural to most, eg Career, Family, Marriage, Children, Intrestr/hobbies. I just feel lost and awkward. When i was a child i was so shy, i would mould myself to try to be liked to be accepted by others, i think by doing this i have lost my own identity somehow, i live to look after my mum. The thought of losing her fills me with terror because i will no longer have anything to live for. I am suffering terribly with anxiety, but i am so frightened to open up and tell the doctor these feelings. DD

[angels22165]

Hi Dan, sorry to hear your suffering - you really need to go and see your GP and tell him/her how you are feeling - its no good suffering.

[DavidJ85]

Dan have a read of my thread just below yours. I'm not coping well either and hoping more people reply to my thread/s.

Unfortunately even though Angels says your GP will be helpful I'd imagine he/she will just stick on you on some form of meds or say "there's not a lot I can do as it's in your mind" just as mine says.

You need to find your coping mechanism or read through posts and threads on your to help set your mind at rest.

You must know you're not alone now though so try your upmost to think positive and remember EVERYONE has anxiety. We just get it innapropriately.!

[Desprate Dan]

I have no indentity i just get by day by day, asking myself so many question's, will i ever find a purpose. I really dont know what i want or who i am, just feel my lifes in limbo and has been for a long time. I get terrible panic anxiety when i look to the future, i need a purpose, but i feel nothing, i could push myself into a relationship, have a family but would that be fair, just fitting into society with no deep feeling wanting, what is so wrong with me. Is it fear of getting hurt? Am i frightened of comitment? Why dont i know who i am or what i want, what is so wrong with me? So much frustration and anxiety.

[harasgenster]

Hi Dan
Sounds like depression to me, caused by the anxiety I should think.

When people are depressed they might not feel sad, per say, but might just feel completely void.

Sounds like this is how you're feeling and if it continues to bother you it may be worth seeing your doctor.

If you'd prefer not to go onto medication, which is only really a short-term solution anyway, you can ask for talking therapy and they will put you on a waiting list.

Mine also gave me a number for an independent organisation that offers CBT outside of the NHS. If you ask your doc he may know of some cheap/free places you can go while you wait for an NHS therapist.

Hope this helps.

[popsy]

DD i would ask to be referred for CBT on the NHS. That is what i am doing. You sound very depressed also. I hope posting on here can bring some comfort we all here do understand.
Sorry im not much more help but, big hugs xxxx

[Bill]

Dan,

I think you ought to try to stop asking yourself questions and instead start doing what you want regardless of how afraid they make you feel because only then will your depressed state lift because then you'll feel free.

Don't worry about the future and all the "what if's". Do what you want to do today and you'll no longer fear tomorrow because you'll have remembered how to enjoy yourself.:winks: