I worry about my kids so much

[simon68]

Hi all....

Not sure if this is the best place to post this but here goes!

Some of you may have read other posts I've placed regarding depression and panic attacks. Well this is a bit different but may in some way be related.

I am a father of two daughters who live with their mother. My whole world revolves around seeing my girls and I'm finding it very difficult when they are not with me.

This may sound extreme but I miss them to the point where I could cry. I worry about what they are doing and if they are alright. I just want to know they are okay every minute of the day.

I need to get my feelings in check and be stronger. I don't let them know how I feel because I don't want to upset them.

The anxiety of missing them and the worry involved probably adds to my stress levels but how do I cope with the feeling?

Can anybody else relate to this or am I too soft?

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Simon

I can imagine how painful it must be not being with your girls - I often say I just want some time to myself (my kids live with me and their dad) but I do miss them when they are not around.

I am sure you are right when you say that you might be adding to your stress levels and that is good that you recognise and that you might be able to start to put that in order.

I cant say it sounds unhealthy, being apart from your children is a big thing and I am sure that if you make your visits and time together memorable they will have many happy times with you.

Is it possible you are suffering from mild depression? Have you been and seen your doctor or a counsellor to see if they can offer help. I am also sure there maybe websites for people on your situation and like this website, you will find you are not alone.

I think just sound like a really caring dad.

Take care.

[Veronica H]

:bighug1:you sound like a great dad Simon and your girls are lucky to have you. A male friend of mine went through similar a few years ago when he started to live apart from his three children after a divorce. He said every minute without them felt like hell until he realised that this was not helping them or him and was making everything very intense and emotional when they stayed. His kids picked up on his unhappiness and worried about him in return. His solution when apart from them was to improve his home and to decorate their rooms when he wasn't at work and to plan his weekends with them, making sure the freezer was stocked up with their favourite meals so that he had quality time left, where they could do things together. He didn't have much to spend so would take them on a bike ride or a trek somewhere and then collapse with a DVD. He also took them to see extended family for a few hours rather than just hugging them to him the whole time, as he said it was important that they do things as a family. I hope this helps. :flowers:

Veronicax

[Maj]

Simon I had a lump in my throat when I read your post. I agree with Veronica - you sound like a great dad. I have friends who are separated from their partners and they take no interest in their children. You are the complete opposite and are a credit to your children. Yes, I'd concentrate on the times I do see them and make them as happy as you can by doing things you all enjoy and making every moment a good one. I think if you all have a lovely time together then this in turn will make you feel better and better as time goes on and more relaxed and looking forward to seeing them again.:hugs:

[simon68]

Hi everybody!

Thanks for the replies...

I do love my kids and know they love me. It's just the worrying part I hate. I have nasty thoughts that they are in danger or going to get hurt if I'm not with them.

Totally irrational thoughts I know but I can't stop them! :(