fairyclairy
31-08-10, 19:24
Hi guys,
I apologise in advance because this will probably just be abit of a rant... :blush:
Iv fought with my anxiety today, just like everyday.... but its been slightly worse today and i think that is due to the fact that im back in work tomorrow!
Whyyyyyy cant i be normal and think 'its just another day...' instead of constantly thinking... "iv GOT to go to work, what if im ill, what if i panic and i cant control it, what if something happens, what if i wake up ill" etc etc etc
Also, i have my friend coming round in 15 minutes and since tea iv still abit 'out of it'.... just not quite right! Abit like im not here, fear of loosing control, anxious, scared incase i get ill whilst shes here etc etc
Im fighting it though, and im not cancelling - i will ride the wave an try and get through it.
It just annoys me because when i go out, i look around and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, not a care in the world and 'normal' .... and its just not fair that walking out my front door everyday is a mission in itself, let alone being able to being completely relaxed and happy whilst im out the door!
Everyone looks at me and comments when i DONT do something, for example, call in work sick, cancel on a day out ..... but why cant people recognise and praise what I AM actually doing... I go to work, only the odd day off, i go out everyday, i try an not cancel plans, iv been to college, and university, but no... no one says how well iv done, they just criticise and says im giving up when i give into it once in a while... arhhh :huh: lol
Sorry for the rant, xxx
I apologise in advance because this will probably just be abit of a rant... :blush:
Iv fought with my anxiety today, just like everyday.... but its been slightly worse today and i think that is due to the fact that im back in work tomorrow!
Whyyyyyy cant i be normal and think 'its just another day...' instead of constantly thinking... "iv GOT to go to work, what if im ill, what if i panic and i cant control it, what if something happens, what if i wake up ill" etc etc etc
Also, i have my friend coming round in 15 minutes and since tea iv still abit 'out of it'.... just not quite right! Abit like im not here, fear of loosing control, anxious, scared incase i get ill whilst shes here etc etc
Im fighting it though, and im not cancelling - i will ride the wave an try and get through it.
It just annoys me because when i go out, i look around and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, not a care in the world and 'normal' .... and its just not fair that walking out my front door everyday is a mission in itself, let alone being able to being completely relaxed and happy whilst im out the door!
Everyone looks at me and comments when i DONT do something, for example, call in work sick, cancel on a day out ..... but why cant people recognise and praise what I AM actually doing... I go to work, only the odd day off, i go out everyday, i try an not cancel plans, iv been to college, and university, but no... no one says how well iv done, they just criticise and says im giving up when i give into it once in a while... arhhh :huh: lol
Sorry for the rant, xxx